OZONE CREATED BY ELECTRIC CARS NOW KILLING MILLIONS IN THE SEVENTH
LARGEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, CALIFORNIA.
WHITE MINORITIES STILL TRYING TO HAVE ENGLISH RECOGNIZED AS NATION'S THIRD LANGUAGE.
SPOTTED OWL PLAGUE THREATENS NORTHWESTERN UNITED STATES CROPS AND LIVESTOCK.
BABY CONCEIVED NATURALLY.... SCIENTISTS STUMPED.
LAST REMAINING FUNDAMENTALIST MUSLIM DIES IN THE AMERICAN TERRITORY OF
THE MIDDLE EAST (FORMERLY KNOWN AS IRAN, AFGHANISTAN, SYRIA, AND LEBANON.)
CASTRO FINALLY DIES AT AGE 112; CUBAN CIGARS CAN NOW BE IMPORTED
LEGALLY, BUT PRESIDENT CHELSEA CLINTON HAS BANNED ALL SMOKING.
GEORGE Z. BUSH SAYS HE WILL RUN FOR PRESIDENT IN 2036.
POSTAL SERVICE RAISES PRICE OF FIRST CLASS STAMP TO $17.89 AND REDUCES
MAIL DELIVERY TO WEDNESDAY ONLY.
35 YEAR STUDY: DIET AND EXERCISE IS THE KEY TO WEIGHT LOSS.
MASSACHUSETTS EXECUTES LAST REMAINING CONSERVATIVE.
SUPREME COURT RULES IMPRISONMENT OF CRIMINALS VIOLATES THEIR CIVIL RIGHTS.
UPCOMING NFL DRAFT LIKELY TO FOCUS ON USE OF MUTANTS.
AVERAGE HEIGHT OF NBA PLAYERS NOW NINE FEET, SEVEN INCHES.
MICROSOFT ANNOUNCES IT HAS PERFECTED ITS NEWEST VERSION OF WINDOWS SO
IT CRASHES BEFORE INSTALLATION IS COMPLETED.
NEW FEDERAL LAW REQUIRES THAT ALL NAIL CLIPPERS, SCREWDRIVERS, FLY
SWATTERS, AND ROLLED UP NEWSPAPERS MUST BE REGISTERED BY JANUARY 2036.
CONGRESS AUTHORIZES DIRECT DEPOSIT OF ILLEGAL POLITICAL CONTRIBUTIONS
TO CAMPAIGN ACCOUNTS.
CAPITAL HILL INTERN INDICTED FOR REFUSING TO HAVE SEX WITH CONGRESSMAN.
IRS SETS LOWEST TAX RATE AT 75%. AVERAGE PRICE OF A SINGLE FAMILY
HOME IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA IS: $2,500,000 AND A THREE BEDROOM APARTMENT
NOW RENTS FOR $5,000 A MONTH.
CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS NOW OFFICIALLY A FELONY AS IT OFFENDS TOO MANY PEOPLE
LARGEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, CALIFORNIA.
WHITE MINORITIES STILL TRYING TO HAVE ENGLISH RECOGNIZED AS NATION'S THIRD LANGUAGE.
SPOTTED OWL PLAGUE THREATENS NORTHWESTERN UNITED STATES CROPS AND LIVESTOCK.
BABY CONCEIVED NATURALLY.... SCIENTISTS STUMPED.
LAST REMAINING FUNDAMENTALIST MUSLIM DIES IN THE AMERICAN TERRITORY OF
THE MIDDLE EAST (FORMERLY KNOWN AS IRAN, AFGHANISTAN, SYRIA, AND LEBANON.)
CASTRO FINALLY DIES AT AGE 112; CUBAN CIGARS CAN NOW BE IMPORTED
LEGALLY, BUT PRESIDENT CHELSEA CLINTON HAS BANNED ALL SMOKING.
GEORGE Z. BUSH SAYS HE WILL RUN FOR PRESIDENT IN 2036.
POSTAL SERVICE RAISES PRICE OF FIRST CLASS STAMP TO $17.89 AND REDUCES
MAIL DELIVERY TO WEDNESDAY ONLY.
35 YEAR STUDY: DIET AND EXERCISE IS THE KEY TO WEIGHT LOSS.
MASSACHUSETTS EXECUTES LAST REMAINING CONSERVATIVE.
SUPREME COURT RULES IMPRISONMENT OF CRIMINALS VIOLATES THEIR CIVIL RIGHTS.
UPCOMING NFL DRAFT LIKELY TO FOCUS ON USE OF MUTANTS.
AVERAGE HEIGHT OF NBA PLAYERS NOW NINE FEET, SEVEN INCHES.
MICROSOFT ANNOUNCES IT HAS PERFECTED ITS NEWEST VERSION OF WINDOWS SO
IT CRASHES BEFORE INSTALLATION IS COMPLETED.
NEW FEDERAL LAW REQUIRES THAT ALL NAIL CLIPPERS, SCREWDRIVERS, FLY
SWATTERS, AND ROLLED UP NEWSPAPERS MUST BE REGISTERED BY JANUARY 2036.
CONGRESS AUTHORIZES DIRECT DEPOSIT OF ILLEGAL POLITICAL CONTRIBUTIONS
TO CAMPAIGN ACCOUNTS.
CAPITAL HILL INTERN INDICTED FOR REFUSING TO HAVE SEX WITH CONGRESSMAN.
IRS SETS LOWEST TAX RATE AT 75%. AVERAGE PRICE OF A SINGLE FAMILY
HOME IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA IS: $2,500,000 AND A THREE BEDROOM APARTMENT
NOW RENTS FOR $5,000 A MONTH.
CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS NOW OFFICIALLY A FELONY AS IT OFFENDS TOO MANY PEOPLE
