Things boys shouldn't say to their girlfriend's dad.... :nono:
Rock103
These afternoon radio guys in Memphis have this kid say the one-liners each afternoon....
Some of them have had me --------------------> :mj07:
Man, I hate to see her leave, but I love to watch her go.
Man, if that stick had turned up blue...
I'm gonna spend the weekend hanging with my buddy John Daly.
It's something I got for Little League from Barry Bonds.
Can I bum one of those?
Have you seen her Three 6 Mafia CD?
She has remarkable muscle control.
While you're up, grab me a cold one!
I was disappointed by The Aristocrats. I have a better version of that joke.
This Halloween I'm going as Ron Jeremy.
I chew Nicorette for the flavor.
Pull my finger.
Almond oil is way to go.
There's a reason why she calls me big boy.
I call her Muffin Top.
She said she should give me some Head and Shoulders...what the heck is shoulders?
They banned our MySpace page.
She's only a waitress now, you have to work your way up to dancing.
Once they go Zach, they never go back.
Man, I'm glad I got a picture phone.
You know what goes great with Ritalin? Whiskey.
Your wife is a nurse right? Can we borrow her uniform?
In boyscouts we learned how to tie a lot of different knots.
I'm like your Kevin Federline.
Don't knock whale-tail mister!It could be worse, I could be Lugnut.
Just think of me as her personal Vincent Gallo.
I think she threw out my back.
I only read it for the articles.
These are not track marks, they're...uhm...poison ivy...yeah, that's it.
There could be lots of reasons why the whipped cream is gone.
Don't change the channel, I've got five bills on this game.
I don't smell bong water.
It's a house arrest anklet...why?
Wanna swap?
What's the big deal about a couple of rug burns?
Maybe it's genetic, but boy can she hold her liquor.
Can I get you to cash an out of state, third party check?
It didn't hurt Chloe Sevigny.
You might wanna check your videos before you play them in front of anyone.
Sooner or later this webcam is gonna make me some serious money.
Maybe it's just a rash.
The tattoo was her idea, where she got it was my idea.
Have you ever seen 9 1/2 Weeks? She sure has!
These must be hers, they don't fit me.
Did you know she was double-jointed?
Man, the back seat of your car is roomy.
Did ya'll find my stash?
"It's hard out here for a pimp"
I roll my own.
I hope I don't ever get herpes again.
I don't know why there's leaves in her hair.
Sending her to band camp was genious!
She's more of a Frederick's of Hollywood girl.
Let me just say, if your daughter is any indication, your wife must be a total freak.
Hey, if you didn't want me to have any why'd ya leave the liquor cabinet open?
I'm just gonna show her how to do a little trick I saw once in Tijuana.
I like to think of myself as her business manager.
How should I know why she always has so many $1 bills?
I've got one word for you: Widcat!
I'm just gonna borrow this bottle of Wesson oil.
I've had that line from Last Tango in Paris running through my head all day.
Believe me, she earned that $200.
Can you make her give me back my copy of 9 and a 1/2 Weeks?
It's just a cold sore.
I prefer to call her a dancer.
We gotta bolt, don't want to miss Happy Hour.
You might want to scrub that counter before you eat off of it.
Any chance anyone in your family is allergic to latex?
Which do you think sounds better: Daddy's Little Angel Dot Com or Daddy's Little Devil Dot Com?
Have you guys got a scanner?
Again, I've never been convicted of a felony.
I made all my own tattoos.
I think I'm chafing.
I know she is your little angel, that's what makes it sweet.
Seriously, thanks for popping for those gymnastics lessons.
Judging from your wife I guess those are gonna get a lot bigger.
Know what really gets her motor running? Scotch.
I don't know how you guys stand that waterbed. No traction.
I don't think my parents have ever been home when she was there.
You'd be surprised how easy it is to hide a video camera.
The joint builds character.
I'd like to see your daughter on a mechanical bull.
I overran my credit card on 1-900 numbers.
Can you help me out with the lingerie size?
My favorite song is Paradise By The Dashboard Light.
Her window is easy to climb in and out of.
Dude, nice toupee.
My prostate is shot.
Trust me, the happy ending is worth the extra Andrew Jackson.
Term vs. life? For me it's never been a question.
Like this watch? It...um...fell off the truck.
Dakota Fanning? Hrrrr....
There is nothing worse than a groin pull.
Can I use your phone? I gotta check in with my PO.
:mj07: :mj07:
Rock103
These afternoon radio guys in Memphis have this kid say the one-liners each afternoon....
Some of them have had me --------------------> :mj07:
Man, I hate to see her leave, but I love to watch her go.
Man, if that stick had turned up blue...
I'm gonna spend the weekend hanging with my buddy John Daly.
It's something I got for Little League from Barry Bonds.
Can I bum one of those?
Have you seen her Three 6 Mafia CD?
She has remarkable muscle control.
While you're up, grab me a cold one!
I was disappointed by The Aristocrats. I have a better version of that joke.
This Halloween I'm going as Ron Jeremy.
I chew Nicorette for the flavor.
Pull my finger.
Almond oil is way to go.
There's a reason why she calls me big boy.
I call her Muffin Top.
She said she should give me some Head and Shoulders...what the heck is shoulders?
They banned our MySpace page.
She's only a waitress now, you have to work your way up to dancing.
Once they go Zach, they never go back.
Man, I'm glad I got a picture phone.
You know what goes great with Ritalin? Whiskey.
Your wife is a nurse right? Can we borrow her uniform?
In boyscouts we learned how to tie a lot of different knots.
I'm like your Kevin Federline.
Don't knock whale-tail mister!It could be worse, I could be Lugnut.
Just think of me as her personal Vincent Gallo.
I think she threw out my back.
I only read it for the articles.
These are not track marks, they're...uhm...poison ivy...yeah, that's it.
There could be lots of reasons why the whipped cream is gone.
Don't change the channel, I've got five bills on this game.
I don't smell bong water.
It's a house arrest anklet...why?
Wanna swap?
What's the big deal about a couple of rug burns?
Maybe it's genetic, but boy can she hold her liquor.
Can I get you to cash an out of state, third party check?
It didn't hurt Chloe Sevigny.
You might wanna check your videos before you play them in front of anyone.
Sooner or later this webcam is gonna make me some serious money.
Maybe it's just a rash.
The tattoo was her idea, where she got it was my idea.
Have you ever seen 9 1/2 Weeks? She sure has!
These must be hers, they don't fit me.
Did you know she was double-jointed?
Man, the back seat of your car is roomy.
Did ya'll find my stash?
"It's hard out here for a pimp"
I roll my own.
I hope I don't ever get herpes again.
I don't know why there's leaves in her hair.
Sending her to band camp was genious!
She's more of a Frederick's of Hollywood girl.
Let me just say, if your daughter is any indication, your wife must be a total freak.
Hey, if you didn't want me to have any why'd ya leave the liquor cabinet open?
I'm just gonna show her how to do a little trick I saw once in Tijuana.
I like to think of myself as her business manager.
How should I know why she always has so many $1 bills?
I've got one word for you: Widcat!
I'm just gonna borrow this bottle of Wesson oil.
I've had that line from Last Tango in Paris running through my head all day.
Believe me, she earned that $200.
Can you make her give me back my copy of 9 and a 1/2 Weeks?
It's just a cold sore.
I prefer to call her a dancer.
We gotta bolt, don't want to miss Happy Hour.
You might want to scrub that counter before you eat off of it.
Any chance anyone in your family is allergic to latex?
Which do you think sounds better: Daddy's Little Angel Dot Com or Daddy's Little Devil Dot Com?
Have you guys got a scanner?
Again, I've never been convicted of a felony.
I made all my own tattoos.
I think I'm chafing.
I know she is your little angel, that's what makes it sweet.
Seriously, thanks for popping for those gymnastics lessons.
Judging from your wife I guess those are gonna get a lot bigger.
Know what really gets her motor running? Scotch.
I don't know how you guys stand that waterbed. No traction.
I don't think my parents have ever been home when she was there.
You'd be surprised how easy it is to hide a video camera.
The joint builds character.
I'd like to see your daughter on a mechanical bull.
I overran my credit card on 1-900 numbers.
Can you help me out with the lingerie size?
My favorite song is Paradise By The Dashboard Light.
Her window is easy to climb in and out of.
Dude, nice toupee.
My prostate is shot.
Trust me, the happy ending is worth the extra Andrew Jackson.
Term vs. life? For me it's never been a question.
Like this watch? It...um...fell off the truck.
Dakota Fanning? Hrrrr....
There is nothing worse than a groin pull.
Can I use your phone? I gotta check in with my PO.
:mj07: :mj07:
