First things first.
The Record
Season ytd
straight 25-15 +$854
Best Bets 3-5
3 team parlays 1-7 +200. Glad I bumped this weeks up to a buck and a half
3 team teasers 5-3 +440
Bonus two team teas3r 1-0 +100
+1594
Staying the Course
1. Don't shit where you eat.. Most of you think you know what this means. While not getting involved with anyone romantically at work is normally a good idea, getting your helmet polished by a good looking member of the opposite sex at work is part of this guys weekly play book. The Queen is all for it to. One less thing she has to do as far as she is concerned.:shrug:
What I'm really talking about is literally not shitting where you are eating. Twice in the last week I had to drop a dugan while dining out with various degrees of consequences. The first one was at a small bistro in town that the Queen had gotten us reservations for in honor of our Anniversary. Now you know these snotty little places that charge you about $45 a plate and you leave hungry and broke? This place is worse. Anyway I was not going to leave hungry so I had a sack of white castles and six pack of schaeffers as a pregame. Anyway not even a minute after ordering do I have a Defcon 4 in my colon. Not only do I carpet bomb this cute couple sitting en route to the shitter but unfortunately I sharted enough that my Fruit of the looms in no way shape or fashion could be salvaged. In fact they would not be making the trip home with me. That said things went from bad to worse in a hurry. My pants were only part way down when noises I'm not yet even comfortable thinking about escaped my rectum. Later my wife reported to me that the entire place not only heard my agony but could smell and taste it.:facepalm: Just about that time I came to the startling revelation that there is a problem. No toilet paper. Savages I tell you. So being that my tighty whiteys have been rendered no bueno I figure I might as well wipe my sphincter clean with my drawers. It is at this time I become aware that there is also no trash can. I mean Wtf? Were these people raised by wolves? I do the only thing I can do at this point, I flush my drawers and hope for the best. No sooner had I flushed did I know that I may not get out of this one unscathed. The toilet overloaded to capacity quickly went over the top. The muddy water flowed under the door and down the aisle of the restaurant!! I Shit you not. This and the noxious odor was enough to clear out the small bistro. Which gave me the chance to sneak out the backdoor to where the all knowing queen was ready with our chariot ready to roll.
Second story to follow.
Charger / Miami over 44.
Denver -3
Baltimore pk
These are the top 3 all in the parlay for a hundy and 10 pt teased for the deuce. The other two will come out soon. I gotta use the potty
The Record
Season ytd
straight 25-15 +$854
Best Bets 3-5
3 team parlays 1-7 +200. Glad I bumped this weeks up to a buck and a half
3 team teasers 5-3 +440
Bonus two team teas3r 1-0 +100
+1594
Staying the Course
1. Don't shit where you eat.. Most of you think you know what this means. While not getting involved with anyone romantically at work is normally a good idea, getting your helmet polished by a good looking member of the opposite sex at work is part of this guys weekly play book. The Queen is all for it to. One less thing she has to do as far as she is concerned.:shrug:
What I'm really talking about is literally not shitting where you are eating. Twice in the last week I had to drop a dugan while dining out with various degrees of consequences. The first one was at a small bistro in town that the Queen had gotten us reservations for in honor of our Anniversary. Now you know these snotty little places that charge you about $45 a plate and you leave hungry and broke? This place is worse. Anyway I was not going to leave hungry so I had a sack of white castles and six pack of schaeffers as a pregame. Anyway not even a minute after ordering do I have a Defcon 4 in my colon. Not only do I carpet bomb this cute couple sitting en route to the shitter but unfortunately I sharted enough that my Fruit of the looms in no way shape or fashion could be salvaged. In fact they would not be making the trip home with me. That said things went from bad to worse in a hurry. My pants were only part way down when noises I'm not yet even comfortable thinking about escaped my rectum. Later my wife reported to me that the entire place not only heard my agony but could smell and taste it.:facepalm: Just about that time I came to the startling revelation that there is a problem. No toilet paper. Savages I tell you. So being that my tighty whiteys have been rendered no bueno I figure I might as well wipe my sphincter clean with my drawers. It is at this time I become aware that there is also no trash can. I mean Wtf? Were these people raised by wolves? I do the only thing I can do at this point, I flush my drawers and hope for the best. No sooner had I flushed did I know that I may not get out of this one unscathed. The toilet overloaded to capacity quickly went over the top. The muddy water flowed under the door and down the aisle of the restaurant!! I Shit you not. This and the noxious odor was enough to clear out the small bistro. Which gave me the chance to sneak out the backdoor to where the all knowing queen was ready with our chariot ready to roll.
Second story to follow.
Charger / Miami over 44.
Denver -3
Baltimore pk
These are the top 3 all in the parlay for a hundy and 10 pt teased for the deuce. The other two will come out soon. I gotta use the potty
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