You might be a Yankee if...

Chanman

:-?PipeSmokin'
Forum Member
You might be a Yankee if...

The sound of Fran Drescher's voice doesn't bother you.

You've watched the movie "Deliverance" and you're afraid to go on a camping trip. Ever.

For breakfast, you'd rather have potatoes than grits.

You can name at least 4 hockey teams.

You've never eaten Okra.

You wonder why people in restaurants don't talk as loud as you do.

You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun & knife show.

You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire Sauce" correctly.

You've never had grain alcohol.

You are familiar with all the rules to Lacrosse.

You have no idea what a polecat is.

You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.

You've never had bangs.(note - OR if you do have them, they aren't several inches ABOVE the top of your head)

You'd rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.

You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

You refer to two or more people as "you guys" instead of "y'all".

You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

You prefer a bagel over a donut.

You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob,Kay Bob, Bob Bob, Sara Jane)

You get freaked out when strangers in public talk to you.

None of your fur coats are made with real fur.

You don't know what a Piggly-Wiggly is.

You think NASCAR stands for the North American Society for...(something)

You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

Your idea of a perfect meal is "Lahbsta and Clam Chawdah."

You use the horn in your car more than once or twice a year.

Everything you know about the Civil War you learned watching TV.

You don't "reckon".

You're not "fixin" to do anything.
 

buddy

Registered User
Forum Member
Nov 21, 2000
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1. You do not make an effort to watch the "The AM Farm Market Report".

2. You've never been baptized in a creek.

3. You've never seen a dead armadillo on Main Street.

4. You've never had a palmetto bug land "smack dab" in the middle of your dinner plate.

5. You've never returned to your hometown and had folks ask you when are you ever going to settle down and do something with your life.

6. You've never watched a tobacco-spittin' contest.

7. You've never used phrases such as "a right fur piece, down yonder, ov' air, up 'air, back 'air, down 'air, pert' near or just down the road a piece".

8. You've never sang "The Andy Griffith Show" theme song.

9. You've never driven a truck which contained a bale of hay, bailing wire, empty oil cans, cinder blocks, old tire, rusted tools, rope, chain, 1/2 of a jack and one or more ugly dogs.

10. You've never used the english language on a regular basis using double modal construction ("I might could do that") and gliding (dipthonged) vowels ("Why, yay-yis [yes] !!!"

:moon:
 

RAZ

Registered User
Forum Member
Jun 8, 2001
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if you can stay in Buckhead for a weekend and only get laid 4 times in 3 days ;) while fitting in 4 rounds of golf. Number could be higher if you are open to the married peaches.



if you HAVE used cinderblocks, wire and a mangy dog to settle a collection matter, ;) LOL!!
 

Terryray

Say Parlay
Forum Member
Dec 6, 2001
9,891
2,469
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Kansas City area for who knows how long....
I remember...

I remember...

My first trip to the south and fellows we ran into said, before they guided us to a huge drunken obnoxious party, said they had to run to the "piggly wiggly" and we could meet them at the "wa-wa".

no way couple of guys from Oregon could figure that out!

Their poor education helped us get by tho. Oregon became a state in 1859 and did side with the Union (but had almost no involvement in the war). But when Southerners heard we were from OR, they thought it over (clearly had no clue to history) and decided we weren't Yankees.




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taoist

The Sage
Forum Member
buddy said:
2. You've never been baptized in a creek.

LMAO!!! ...you wouldn't believe how often this happens, buddy. There's a Church within a few miles from my childhood homeplace that was built right on a creek bank especially for this purpose.... They saved the expense of building a special baptism room in the church, but no one was ever saved from November through March.... :D
 

Eddie Haskell

Matt 02-12-11
Forum Member
Feb 13, 2001
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Cincinnati
aclu.org
Blazer:

One of my best friends (from 3rd grade) lives in Marietta. Guy owns a company that builds those beautiful cell towers you see destroying everyones views.

Cracked me up when his wife (a Georgia peach) was giving me driving directions and told me "....when ya'll git to the big chicken turn....".

Obvious question from this yankee was "What the hell is the big chicken?" Later that afternoon, I saw it. I can honestly say that my life has not been the same since.

Ed
 
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