Younger woman.....older man
- Thread starter Regular Joe
- Start date
I think single moms with kids should be hard asses toward men. Their first priority should be their kids, and if it's not, there's something wrong with them. I get so sick of seeing single moms with live in boyfriends or worse yet having multiple partners that come into the house.
As far as a relationship between the 2 of you, here's my suggestion. Listen. Don't try to always have an answer to her problems, just listen to them, get her to talk, and try to redirect her to talk more by repeating what she said in a question form. Men want to solve all the problems, women want men to be a good listener. GL!
As far as a relationship between the 2 of you, here's my suggestion. Listen. Don't try to always have an answer to her problems, just listen to them, get her to talk, and try to redirect her to talk more by repeating what she said in a question form. Men want to solve all the problems, women want men to be a good listener. GL!
It seems like everybody in this thread has reasonably healthy attitudes. Age is just a number. The most important thing in my opinion is similar interests and similar values and morals. That last part is a tough one, but it helps. My only warning would be two fold. One - workplace relationships are not easy. Having been GM of a few businesses, the crap that went on between employees was unbelievable and always seemed to end on a sour note. Secondly, and I hope I don't sound incredibly shallow and cruel, but I would think twice before I got involved with a woman who had been in an abusive relationship. The plus side is that they will do anything and everything to please you. That is the good part. The bad part is that abused women are not always loyal partners, because they are always so eager to please any man who is nice to them. Obviously, there are always exceptions. I don't mean to be a Dear Abby, but there really is some truth to the fact that with age comes wisdom. Or maybe just more BS. SixFive chimed in with so great advice, too. One thing to watch for, and again it may seem rather inappropriate, but I have seen it happen. You should be able to tell fairly soon. Unmarried women with children are sometimes looking for a father for their kids. It is for all the right reasons, but you do sound like a good catch and a potentially fine father. Once the kids are raised, they have no use for you. Please don't take my negativity in the wrong way. Just trying to point out all the possible potholes in the road. Good luck!
SixFive,
Thanks for the advice. Fortunately, listening is what I do well. A big part of the attraction is hearing her points of view. I grew up in an average, middle-class environment....her in a lower class, pregnant at 17, living with a guy until she was 22. What really bothers me is that she probably didn't get to enjoy her really fun years. I had the most fun in my entire life when I was 17-22 years old. Having three children in five years makes it difficult to have fun. After she moved back in with her parents, seems like she tried to make up for lost time.....partying constantly, never able to hold a steady job, etc. That's all changed. Her friends (from the same type of background) have moved away or she doesn't associated with them as she once did. Knowing about her wilder days, I found it rather difficult to believe that she's become, as she says, a couch potatoe. But she has. Probably the best thing that happened is her agreeing to work late evenings and/or graveyard. even works Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights. Definitely not the same person as a year ago. As for multiple partners coming in and out of the house, yes, they existed. Luckily, that hasn't happened for about the last ten months. As for the "hard ass" attitude, she was that way towards everybody, not just men. I guess she used it as some sort of defense mechanism.
Ferdville,
Thanks for the response.
The workplace thing used to bother me when we had the same hours. Since she switched over to nights, we bump into each other maybe once or twice a month. When we do, it's just eye contact or maybe a casual hello. Does anybody at work know what's going on? One or two have their suspicions, but nobody has approached me about it.
I have a lot of acquaintances, but few true friends. During the summer, I told her, "Look, I don't know what's going on between us, but if you want whatever it is to continue, just do two things....don't lie to me, and trust me". (How many times have guys used the old "just trust me" line?) But that's it.....follow those two guidelines and I'll be your friend for life. So far, she hasn't lied, and she's trusted me completely.
The only problem I have is I get the feeling she's thinking, "What could this apparently decent guy want with a woman that has a checkered past?" She admitted that she was young and stupid when all the shit went down, and I firmly believe what happened happened.....its' all history now.
Sorry for rambling,
"Joe"
Thanks for the advice. Fortunately, listening is what I do well. A big part of the attraction is hearing her points of view. I grew up in an average, middle-class environment....her in a lower class, pregnant at 17, living with a guy until she was 22. What really bothers me is that she probably didn't get to enjoy her really fun years. I had the most fun in my entire life when I was 17-22 years old. Having three children in five years makes it difficult to have fun. After she moved back in with her parents, seems like she tried to make up for lost time.....partying constantly, never able to hold a steady job, etc. That's all changed. Her friends (from the same type of background) have moved away or she doesn't associated with them as she once did. Knowing about her wilder days, I found it rather difficult to believe that she's become, as she says, a couch potatoe. But she has. Probably the best thing that happened is her agreeing to work late evenings and/or graveyard. even works Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights. Definitely not the same person as a year ago. As for multiple partners coming in and out of the house, yes, they existed. Luckily, that hasn't happened for about the last ten months. As for the "hard ass" attitude, she was that way towards everybody, not just men. I guess she used it as some sort of defense mechanism.
Ferdville,
Thanks for the response.
The workplace thing used to bother me when we had the same hours. Since she switched over to nights, we bump into each other maybe once or twice a month. When we do, it's just eye contact or maybe a casual hello. Does anybody at work know what's going on? One or two have their suspicions, but nobody has approached me about it.
I have a lot of acquaintances, but few true friends. During the summer, I told her, "Look, I don't know what's going on between us, but if you want whatever it is to continue, just do two things....don't lie to me, and trust me". (How many times have guys used the old "just trust me" line?) But that's it.....follow those two guidelines and I'll be your friend for life. So far, she hasn't lied, and she's trusted me completely.
The only problem I have is I get the feeling she's thinking, "What could this apparently decent guy want with a woman that has a checkered past?" She admitted that she was young and stupid when all the shit went down, and I firmly believe what happened happened.....its' all history now.
Sorry for rambling,
"Joe"
let me get this straight...you are dating a 27 yr old and you are 49. We know she puts out cuz she has kids. She was in an abusive relationship and was smart enough to get out, however long it took. And you are wondering if it is ok?
Did you fall down alot as a kid? Hit your head?
A good match is a good match regardless of age. Follow your own feelings not the status quo, besides by the time she figures out how old 49 is she will shitcan you anyway so enjoy.
Here to help
FDC
Did you fall down alot as a kid? Hit your head?
A good match is a good match regardless of age. Follow your own feelings not the status quo, besides by the time she figures out how old 49 is she will shitcan you anyway so enjoy.
Here to help
FDC
