WOULD IT NOT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV SOME NIGHT
> AND SEE G. W. BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
>
> My fellow Americans:
>
> As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed.
> Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war,
> our mission in Iraq is complete.
>
> This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
> Forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
>
> It is now time to begin the reckoning.
>
> Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
> which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
>short.
> The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some
> of the countries listed there.
>
> The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
> world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
> distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
>
> Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
> nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
> during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
> Iraqi war.
>
> The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
> hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
> Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
>
> In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
> money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
>
> On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
> will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face
> of the Earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or
>maybe
> China.
>
> To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal
>now.
>
> Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
> Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
> tables, too .
>
> I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
> Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring
> from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
>
> I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
> UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
> tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
> crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your
>tickets
> tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned
> over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
>
> A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
> going to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
> try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President
> Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment.
>I
> have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess
>where
> I'm gonna put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with
> your oil. Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA
> treaty, starting now.
>
> It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
>
> Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying darn
>tootin'.
> Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
>world
> has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
>planet.
>
> It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
>homelessness
> in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup soccer from America.
>
> To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.
> To the nations on List 2, a final thought: Drop dead.
>
> God bless America. Thank you and good night.
>
> If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in
> English, thank a soldier.
> AND SEE G. W. BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
>
> My fellow Americans:
>
> As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed.
> Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war,
> our mission in Iraq is complete.
>
> This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
> Forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
>
> It is now time to begin the reckoning.
>
> Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
> which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
>short.
> The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some
> of the countries listed there.
>
> The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
> world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
> distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
>
> Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
> nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
> during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
> Iraqi war.
>
> The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
> hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
> Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
>
> In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
> money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
>
> On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
> will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face
> of the Earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or
>maybe
> China.
>
> To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal
>now.
>
> Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
> Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
> tables, too .
>
> I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
> Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring
> from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
>
> I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
> UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
> tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
> crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your
>tickets
> tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned
> over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
>
> A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
> going to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
> try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President
> Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment.
>I
> have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess
>where
> I'm gonna put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with
> your oil. Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA
> treaty, starting now.
>
> It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
>
> Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying darn
>tootin'.
> Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
>world
> has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
>planet.
>
> It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
>homelessness
> in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup soccer from America.
>
> To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.
> To the nations on List 2, a final thought: Drop dead.
>
> God bless America. Thank you and good night.
>
> If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in
> English, thank a soldier.
