Well..... you may have noticed that my screen voice has been a little quiet the last couple of days. I returned to work after 4 months medical leave and recommenced the 1-1/2 hr. commute. What can I say?
I cracked on Sunday in anticipation of "the Grind". My SO and I went out to dinner and had just been praised highly by one of our regular waitresses who noticed immediately that we weren't sitting in her (Smoking) section. Somehow, on the way home, we talked ourselves into stopping and buying the damned things, thinking of how good it would taste. It tasted like $hit but I kept hooving away. I kept telling myself that I'd just get through this pack and get back with the program but this a.m., when I stopped for gas, I bought another pack.
I'm deluding myself saying how well I did for a week and how well I'm still doing because I made a pack last for three days rather than the usual day (or former 1/2 day from a year or so ago). On the other hand, I'm getting a little sore from kicking myself in the ass and have only smoked two from the new pack. I'm not making excuses because I'm the only one to blame but jeezus, how can I keep lying to myself?
Come on guys (and gals), I need your help. I just don't know what that help is. You'd think, with my medical education, having nursed on an oncology unit and having family members who are suffering from or have died from cancer and COPD, that I'd be able to get off these things!
Any thoughts?