The road to sobriety is not an easy one but it is THE ROAD for an ALCOHOLIC to have a life again.
....left the courtroom that day..Paid my lawyer w/borrowed money.[another enabler to my rescue...]
What now[a few frosties and some clear thinking]....gotta figure out how to get around the system...who to ask...fellow drunks of course...
The skinny....ASAP starts right away ...but no testing in ASAP CLASSES[many of boys on the bar stools filled me in] ... ...Hell ...clean up nice,keep low profile and contribute just enough in class to so your attentive.
Worked like a charm...only have 5 or 6 cold ones day before ASAP[don't want to look like a milky eyed drunk...hell.visine will do the trick...it has worked for years]...and then right back to pounding those cold ones.
OH but "THE BOTTOM" was near ...but of course you never know it til ya get there..
It's OCT.1996 now and my birthday and wedding aniv.[one in the same...drunks need memory jarrers] are near...My placement interview for rehab is near plus the divorce decree is only days away..
Once last attempt to save my marriage...But there was no saving it.My tears and wails of controlling my drinking fell on deaf ears...She had found out that there was a life to live outside of the clutches of an alcoholic and all that it intails My wife had sought help and finally figured out .An enabler she had been for almost 15 years...She would enable me no longer..The divorce decree was hand delievered by a carrier days later
Thus began a torrid drinking spree that I can only describe as near suicidal.Drinking on the job[only the most professional of drunks can half ass perform and hold down a job] and pounding beer after beer every night...Weekends were a 12 pack before 2pm and the nights were consuming til passout...only to have anxiety attacks in the waken hours to the point of psoriasis so bad my scalp bled and heart murmurs where I just knew I was going to die.
I had to quit ......but how?..losing my soul-mate/wife...the foreclosure on my lakefront home..countless true friends who had been stretched to the limits w/my uncontrollably drinking had no choice but to let me flounder.I had shown no signs quitting or control for nearly 15 years and for 5 years prior to that had not drawn a sober breath on the weekends.
Little did I know that help was an interview away...The Rehab interview was like an undressing of which is hard to describe...The choices were now clear...Attend classes weekly for a year ...be tested weekly...AND ATTEND TWICE WEEKLY MEETINGS AT AA.
Failure to comply meant jail...no ifs ands or buts
I had made a wreck of my whole personal and professional life...For the first time in 20 years I realized that failure to try my best was the only option left if I didn't want to go to jail.
My first Rehab class was scheduled for 12-11-1996..Room 108C.
The counselor was to be Ted __.It was to start at 8

m.
Little did I know what a profound effect this man and the soon to begin AA Meetings in between these meetings would have on this,at the time, drunk, broken down shell of a human being.
On DEC. 1Oth 1996 I sat at a booth in the local watering hole all by myself and ordered one draft beer...I stared at that beer knowing full well that after this glass was empty it had to be the last time my body would ingest alcohol or I would be in jail or dead and possible both..
I drank that beer..in fact I sipped it...I sipped with the knowledge that it had controlled my very being for nearly 7,300 days..Not a soul in that bar knew what was happening...not a one of my so called friends of drunkenness...Not even some of my oldest and former dearest friends who had called or come by just to make sure I was still alive..
I did share those sips of beer with something though...I shared those last sips of beer with that little voice in my head that had whispered to me over and over again.."The Truth Will Set You Free"
Rehab and AA MEETINGS followed...Ted the counselor in REHAB and hundreds of other drunks in AA meetings showed me a path back to the human race..Without their help I would not be here typing this..
There is of course more...and I can surely discuss it at any length if anyone cares to know...and I am sure there are others here who can elaborate...and probably alot better as well..
...the shakes...the vomiting..the urge to drink again.the crashes by the body...the regaining of ones selfpride...the letters to friends and enemies ...
The rebuilding of credit...the years to clean the driving record.
Months into rehab I established a motto for the rest of my life..and it was and still is...
"I will have it all again"
on Dec. 10th 2006 around 9pm or so I will have been been 10 years without the consumption of alcoholic beverages.
I have a great wife...a beautiful home...and my friends call me the "King of The Neighborhood..
I am owner/operator of a Landscaping Service that has taken me nearly 7 years to build..
How did it happen....
PEOPLE...PLACES and THINGS...
anyone entertaining the thought of sobriety must change and or alter these 3
if some of what I have written can help anyone in anyway I am truly glad to help further if you like.
Sincerely,
Old School