How many can you take on and win?

[saint]

Sounds like a day at work for me :mj07:

Do I get to have a drill in each hand? That'll scare them shitless into a huddle where I can then commence the beatdown.

serioulsy...i'd agree 10-15 max.

 

[hsams]

I swear to god twofingers--that is the funniest two posts I have read on any messege board,:mj07: :mj07: anywhere--ever

 

[BahamaMama]

twofingers.... sounds as if you are an EXPERT on 5 year olds.....LOL

remember a sign that my sons kindergarten teacher had outside her room back in MN... teaching a class of 5 yr. olds is like trying to hold 30 corks in a bathtub all underwater at the same time!!

 

[Smitty]

i'm sure this says something about me, but i LOVE this question. i think most of you are low with your numbers. jack may have been closer with his original guess of 40. y'all are forgetting a few important factors (and i'm going to discount the difficulty of getting myself to knock out a 5-year old)...
1) they have to knock you out. they can kick and bite and scratch all they want. they still have to knock you out. 5-year olds don't have the strength to knock out an adult. about the only way they could do it is to knock you down in such a manner that you nail your head on the floor, rendering you unconscious.
2) no matter how many there are, only so many can attack you at once. once there are about 10 - 15 of the little buggers on you, what are the rest of 'em gonna do? shoot you dirty looks?

i have to say... i love momoney's suggestion of the 'childweapon'. sounds like it's within the rules, and i crack up every time i picture it.

 

[IX_Bender]

I think you go on the offensive at first. You need to charge one of the weak looking ones and just plow him/her down and whoever i around. Then, do as others have said. Pick the short one up, and either throw or swing it at the others.

That would only work for so long though I think. You would have to drop the kid at some point. That is when it gets used as a shield. As you shove some away, try to pile a couple up around you. They are short after all, it doesn't take much to make then slow down by making them have to climb over a few bodies. That is when you pop them in the face/throat, or use another kid head to smack against theirs.

i'd want to dress like a ninja if i did this i'd want to be quick on my feet. plus i'd want to wear a black headband. it'd make me feel more like a weapon of death if i got to wear a black headband. then it'd be on till the mutha****ing break of dawn. i would scream out random words like "Piss!"..."Doom"..."****"...."Shit"..."Rip".

you need to take your knee and drive it into their faces. easy outs. that's it. knee to the face and they're done. i'd concentrate on shoving them down too. so knee to the face, push as many as i can to the floor to buy me some time, then haymakers, you could probably hit 2 kids if you're good enough. then you catch your breath by pushign as many as you could to the floor.

100 kids. the only thing that could stop you would be your stamina.

also, keep in mind - they might be tiny warriors, but they are only 5 years old, if you hit them hard enough they'll cry. so you could even smack a lot of kids to catch your breath.

then Mr. Knee will put them to bed once they stop to cry. you don't know how bad i want to fight 5 year olds now. i would pay a lot of money to be in this scenario. i would love to beat the shit out of tiny humans. i would rip and tear. i could envision myself losing my humanity for the required time to **** these kids up. i'm talking blind bloodlust. i'm talking taking a kid and ripping its jaw off. i just got this sudden urge to ****ing **** shit up. you don't understand, i'm sitting here knowing that if i was in that situation, i could get the ability to take a tiny 5 year old neck and squeeze it.

 

[IX_Bender]

*I didnt write the previous post as its a cut/paste job from another site, but wanted to share.

 

[Agent 0659]

I think you go on the offensive at first. You need to charge one of the weak looking ones and just plow him/her down and whoever i around. Then, do as others have said. Pick the short one up, and either throw or swing it at the others.

That would only work for so long though I think. You would have to drop the kid at some point. That is when it gets used as a shield. As you shove some away, try to pile a couple up around you. They are short after all, it doesn't take much to make then slow down by making them have to climb over a few bodies. That is when you pop them in the face/throat, or use another kid head to smack against theirs.

i'd want to dress like a ninja if i did this i'd want to be quick on my feet. plus i'd want to wear a black headband. it'd make me feel more like a weapon of death if i got to wear a black headband. then it'd be on till the mutha****ing break of dawn. i would scream out random words like "Piss!"..."Doom"..."****"...."Shit"..."Rip".

you need to take your knee and drive it into their faces. easy outs. that's it. knee to the face and they're done. i'd concentrate on shoving them down too. so knee to the face, push as many as i can to the floor to buy me some time, then haymakers, you could probably hit 2 kids if you're good enough. then you catch your breath by pushign as many as you could to the floor.

100 kids. the only thing that could stop you would be your stamina.

also, keep in mind - they might be tiny warriors, but they are only 5 years old, if you hit them hard enough they'll cry. so you could even smack a lot of kids to catch your breath.

then Mr. Knee will put them to bed once they stop to cry. you don't know how bad i want to fight 5 year olds now. i would pay a lot of money to be in this scenario. i would love to beat the shit out of tiny humans. i would rip and tear. i could envision myself losing my humanity for the required time to **** these kids up. i'm talking blind bloodlust. i'm talking taking a kid and ripping its jaw off. i just got this sudden urge to ****ing **** shit up. you don't understand, i'm sitting here knowing that if i was in that situation, i could get the ability to take a tiny 5 year old neck and squeeze it.

:mj07: :mj07: :mj07: :mj07: :mj07:

Oh man wait till Buddy sees this!!!

 

[The Sponge]

In the eight years i have been on the net this the strangest thread i ever read.:shrug: :nono:

 

[MadJack]

*I didnt write the previous post as its a cut/paste job from another site, but wanted to share.

i was getting ready to give you the "best post in the history of madjacksports"

:mj07: :mj07: :mj07:

 

[The Sponge]

This kinda reminds me of that movie the Wanderers with those duckie boy's or whatever they were called. Nasty little suckers.

 

[blgstocks]

good post jack

really got me thinking about how many 5 year olds i could ko lol

My geuss would be either 10 or 90+ because I have never really tried. Its either going to be alot less than i think or if it as easy as i think i don't see why i couldn't keep on kickin ass. I do have a soft knee though so i imagine the combat guru would say to kick at the shin and knees.

many priceless replys to this gem of a post

 

[twofingers]

I don't think they would have much problem knocking you out once they got you to the ground. Couple kids on your legs, couple on your arms, and the rest kicking you in the head repeatably. It's lights out.

In the early 80's i worked at a treatment center/school for troubled children out in brewster NY. They had children there as young as five years old and lived in dormatory style housing. These kids were from NYC. Those little monsters lived to fight, even at that age, and they were good. i personally saw a group of 4-5 of them pounce on a counselor and they had the poor bastard down in no time and were kicking the crap out of him. Obviously he was not fighting back but he would have been out if we had not pulled the little devils off of him. These kids would fist fight every friggin day and they showed no fear at all. They would be in their mid 20's now and probably all in Attica now. What a summer that was.

 

[lawtchan]

I would figure they would all go for the 'nuts'. 15+ kids stomping you in the basket would put you down and out in a matter of minutes.

There is NOOOOOOOOOOOO way you are going to kick 15+ five year olds in their baby nutz before they get to you.

 

[yyz]

You guys give yourselves too much credit.

I am willing to guess that almost all of us are in terrible shape. That being said, you would last in a "street fight" about 20-35 seconds before falling out.

The only advantage I can see, is that five year olds are pussies. I have never seen one who didn't cry after falling down, for Christ's sake! No amount of "24 hour training" will combat that fear. Waffle a couple right away, and the rest will be shitting themselves.

The rules say you have to knock them out, though. No time limit though. I don't know too many adults willing to be first in line to get their skull cracked, let alone kindy beaners!

Like I said....lay out the first couple, and send the fear of Jezus into 'em!

The worst thing is, a bunch of asshats like us are coming up with ways to do this!

 

[MadJack]

The worst thing is, a bunch of asshats like us are coming up with ways to do this!

 

[yyz]

:mj12:

:mj07:

 

[CANADA MAN]

I have a 5 year old boy who is quite tough for his size, but I think the number would have to be pretty high. They simply don't have the strength to knock you out, so their only real chance is to attack you all at once so they can try to get you on the ground, then they must continuously kick and jump on your head and just use weight to keep you down while they keep stompin' until eventually you run out of strength to fend them off and eventually they could probably knock you cold. But like I said - the number would have to be high and it depends on what kind of shape you're in. Still, they better be pretty brave 'cause some of them are getting knocked out no matter how many there are. I think I could probably handle (knock out) 20-25 before they knocked me out. Lot's of room to move and the large reach advantage would take care of half of them within 1 minute. Then it's just one at a time till the last one drops. There's my 2 cents.

In reality - one good shot to the head could easily kill a five year old, and having one myself the thought of punching one in the head is pretty gross....but what an interesting question!!!:canada1

 

[godsfavoritedog]

i was getting ready to give you the "best post in the history of madjacksports"

:mj07: :mj07: :mj07:

No doubt. Whoever wrote that is my hero. :mj07:

I'm going to say I could take out at least 50, if not 75. Man, I wish there was a way to find out without going to jail.

 

[dawgball]

- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.

One hour of training to an adult is worth more than one day of training to five year olds.

Everyone here is acting like after some training, these kids automagically turn into Damiens from The Omen. Their still regular five year olds.

I think I am raising my 22 guess.

 

[yyz]

All bets are off!


I just saw a photo of the first string:

:scared :scared :scared :com: :scared :com: :scared