If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
:shrug:
CM
:shrug:
CM
Please post all topics off topic here
- Thread starter fatdaddycool
- Start date
-----The Wisdom of Larry The Cable Guy . .
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese in
the trap.
9. Support bacteria. That's the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
(That's
True)
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the
heck
happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear
bright
until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of
jalapenos.
What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese in
the trap.
9. Support bacteria. That's the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
(That's
True)
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the
heck
happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear
bright
until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of
jalapenos.
What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
why does fried squirrel taste so much like gopher?
why do they put "deer crossing" signs on roads where so many deer get hit by cars?... they`re really not good places for them to be crossing....:shrug:
why,at the airport,do they ask"has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?"
if it was without your knowledge, how
would you know?......
why do they put "deer crossing" signs on roads where so many deer get hit by cars?... they`re really not good places for them to be crossing....:shrug:
why,at the airport,do they ask"has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?"
if it was without your knowledge, how
would you know?......
Anyone in the Simi Valley area know where I can
get my nose hairs and ear hairs trimmed while
looking at a nice set of tits. :mj07: :142smilie
:0corn
get my nose hairs and ear hairs trimmed while
looking at a nice set of tits. :mj07: :142smilie
:0corn
Clowns say kids do NOT find them scary
Clowns say kids do NOT find them scary
LONDON (Reuters) - Unhappy clowns from around the world say a study that reported that children didn't like them has wiped the big smile from their faces, and have been falling over their large shoes to put their case.
A poll by researchers looking at what decor to put in hospital children's wards found that youngsters do not like clowns on the walls and even older ones think they are scary.
"We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable," said Penny Curtis, senior researcher at the University of Sheffield which questioned 250 children aged between four and 16.
But their findings, published in a nursing magazine on Wednesday, has put the red noses of the clowning community out of joint.
In a deluge of emails to Reuters, they say they misrepresent just how popular they really are.
"The 'universe' of 250 children used for the Sheffield University study was miniscule compared to the 250,000 one-to-one bedside visits made by Clown Care to hospitalized children annually," said Joel Dein, director of communications at the Big Apple Circus in New York.
The Clown Care programme has involved two million hospital bedside visits since it began 21 years ago, employs more than 93 professional "Clown Doctors" and has been copied across the world in countries such as Italy and Brazil, Dein said.
Other individual clowns pointed out how much children, especially those who are ill, are cheered by them.
"I have clowned in hospitals, nursing homes, schools, day care, corporate events ,telethons and am a part of many charity events," said Elaine "Daisy D.Dots" Vercellone, who has been clowning for 21 years around New York.
"It gives people, kids and adults a reason to be silly, to imagine and gives their minds a vacation if only for a moment."
Heather Myers, aka PipSqueakTheClown, said while many of those in hospitals and nursing homes appreciate their fun antics, there are of course those who are scared.
"There are those who are afraid of clowns, this is unavoidable, the same way that there are those afraid of dogs and spiders," she said.
"It is the responsibility of the clown to know his environment, and take the necessary steps when confronted with a phobia."
Clowns say kids do NOT find them scary
LONDON (Reuters) - Unhappy clowns from around the world say a study that reported that children didn't like them has wiped the big smile from their faces, and have been falling over their large shoes to put their case.
A poll by researchers looking at what decor to put in hospital children's wards found that youngsters do not like clowns on the walls and even older ones think they are scary.
"We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable," said Penny Curtis, senior researcher at the University of Sheffield which questioned 250 children aged between four and 16.
But their findings, published in a nursing magazine on Wednesday, has put the red noses of the clowning community out of joint.
In a deluge of emails to Reuters, they say they misrepresent just how popular they really are.
"The 'universe' of 250 children used for the Sheffield University study was miniscule compared to the 250,000 one-to-one bedside visits made by Clown Care to hospitalized children annually," said Joel Dein, director of communications at the Big Apple Circus in New York.
The Clown Care programme has involved two million hospital bedside visits since it began 21 years ago, employs more than 93 professional "Clown Doctors" and has been copied across the world in countries such as Italy and Brazil, Dein said.
Other individual clowns pointed out how much children, especially those who are ill, are cheered by them.
"I have clowned in hospitals, nursing homes, schools, day care, corporate events ,telethons and am a part of many charity events," said Elaine "Daisy D.Dots" Vercellone, who has been clowning for 21 years around New York.
"It gives people, kids and adults a reason to be silly, to imagine and gives their minds a vacation if only for a moment."
Heather Myers, aka PipSqueakTheClown, said while many of those in hospitals and nursing homes appreciate their fun antics, there are of course those who are scared.
"There are those who are afraid of clowns, this is unavoidable, the same way that there are those afraid of dogs and spiders," she said.
"It is the responsibility of the clown to know his environment, and take the necessary steps when confronted with a phobia."
You play the game
I'll masturbate and sing a lullaby
You run the race
I'll pay the miles
You sing the pink love fuzz
and dance the musty queer
I'll stay at home 'cause I'm the mouse
So high that I can't fly
More deep than space #9
Can't tell by telling time
She's so ready, I'm so heavy
It's so heavy on me
Can't hold time by holding time
Barbarella
Come and save me from my misery
Can't you see it's a disease
Shoot the bad guys
and I'll gladly sing a tune for you
Lost in space- we could be free
Let go, let God they say
I do believe but not in yours or yours
I just believe it's all the same
Don't know just who I am
Don't know about the lamb
I'm the meat of the feast
Barbarella
Come and save me from my misery
Can't you see it's a disease
Shoot the bad guys
and I'll gladly sing a tune for you
Lost in space- we could be free
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
And all the tangerines
They taste like jelly beans
This must be boring by now
Grab a scale and guess the weight of all
the pain I've given with my name
I'm a selfish piece of shit
Barbarella
Come and save me from my misery
Can't you see it's a disease
Shoot the bad guys
and I'll gladly sing a tune for you
Lost in space- we could be free
Barbarella
Come and save me from my misery
Can't you see it's a disease
Shoot the bad guys
and I'll gladly sing a tune for you
We'll watch Lost in Space on my TV
I'll masturbate and sing a lullaby
You run the race
I'll pay the miles
You sing the pink love fuzz
and dance the musty queer
I'll stay at home 'cause I'm the mouse
So high that I can't fly
More deep than space #9
Can't tell by telling time
She's so ready, I'm so heavy
It's so heavy on me
Can't hold time by holding time
Barbarella
Come and save me from my misery
Can't you see it's a disease
Shoot the bad guys
and I'll gladly sing a tune for you
Lost in space- we could be free
Let go, let God they say
I do believe but not in yours or yours
I just believe it's all the same
Don't know just who I am
Don't know about the lamb
I'm the meat of the feast
Barbarella
Come and save me from my misery
Can't you see it's a disease
Shoot the bad guys
and I'll gladly sing a tune for you
Lost in space- we could be free
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
And all the tangerines
They taste like jelly beans
This must be boring by now
Grab a scale and guess the weight of all
the pain I've given with my name
I'm a selfish piece of shit
Barbarella
Come and save me from my misery
Can't you see it's a disease
Shoot the bad guys
and I'll gladly sing a tune for you
Lost in space- we could be free
Barbarella
Come and save me from my misery
Can't you see it's a disease
Shoot the bad guys
and I'll gladly sing a tune for you
We'll watch Lost in Space on my TV
Heard a father and daughter convo the other day.
girl: Dad if you have nuts hanging on the wall, what would those be?
father: Well, you'd have walnuts.
girl: If I had nuts on my chest, would those be chestnuts?
father: well, yeah
girl: Well if I had nuts under my chin would those be chinnuts?
father: Hell nah, you'd have a motherfu.ckin dick in yo mouf
the end
girl: Dad if you have nuts hanging on the wall, what would those be?
father: Well, you'd have walnuts.
girl: If I had nuts on my chest, would those be chestnuts?
father: well, yeah
girl: Well if I had nuts under my chin would those be chinnuts?
father: Hell nah, you'd have a motherfu.ckin dick in yo mouf
the end
Where were the bodyguards Sonny sent with Michael when he left the compound to see his girlfriend for dinner? They weren't with him when he went to see his father in the hospital. :shrug:
