Enjoy. :tongue
Source: URL: http://scienceblogs.com/grrlscientist/2008/01/top_fifty_atheist_tshirt_and_b.php
Source: URL: http://scienceblogs.com/grrlscientist/2008/01/top_fifty_atheist_tshirt_and_b.php
My Favorite Atheist Aphorisms
- Thread starter WhatsHisNuts
- Start date
one sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing... he calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won't be able to go to work...
way up in heaven, saint peter sees all this and asks god, ''are you really going to let him get away with this?''...
''no, i guess not,'' says god....
the priest drives about five to six hours away, so he doesn't bump into anyone he knows.... the golf course is empty when he gets there.... so he takes his first swing, drives the ball 495 yards away and gets a hole in one....
saint peter watches in disbelief and asks, '' why did you let him do that?''...
to this god says, ''who's he going to tell?''
umm hmmm....see.:yup ...i`ll have you crooning gregorian chants before i`m through,you lil` scamp,you....:00x11
way up in heaven, saint peter sees all this and asks god, ''are you really going to let him get away with this?''...
''no, i guess not,'' says god....
the priest drives about five to six hours away, so he doesn't bump into anyone he knows.... the golf course is empty when he gets there.... so he takes his first swing, drives the ball 495 yards away and gets a hole in one....
saint peter watches in disbelief and asks, '' why did you let him do that?''...
to this god says, ''who's he going to tell?''
umm hmmm....see.:yup ...i`ll have you crooning gregorian chants before i`m through,you lil` scamp,you....:00x11
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- Feb 23, 2005
- 6,744
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awesome george carlin quote
awesome george carlin quote
In the Bullshit Department, a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman. 'Cause I gotta tell you the truth, folks. When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told.
Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you.
He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!
for the full hsyterical version
http://www.celebatheists.com/index.php?title=George_Carlin
awesome george carlin quote
In the Bullshit Department, a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman. 'Cause I gotta tell you the truth, folks. When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told.
Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you.
He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!
for the full hsyterical version
http://www.celebatheists.com/index.php?title=George_Carlin
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IO: If I were you, I would keep your Internet Favorites to yourself. There are policeman that scan the net for stuff like this.
life is short.. You better hope your right. I have known several atheist and they are dead. I wondered why they died young and wondered if they were right about no God...I myself have nothing to lose for believing and a great deal to gain if there is a God, because I'm saved....
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David: Life is short. Too short to be wasting it on preparation for an afterlife that there is zero proof of.
If you are telling me that your hypothesis on atheists is that they die young because they don't believe in god, I'm going to have to push the BS button, and kindly disagree.
As far as Pascal's Wager goes, it's not exactly a 50/50 proposition. You have to pick the right god, not just god. Every religion has a 1st Commandment: You shall worship no God but me (or pay the price) kind of thing. To take it a step further, I doubt the lord would grant you salvation because you believed in him just in case.
In the end, you actually have a lot to lose: Time. Make your own commandments and be a good person. Enjoy the time you have because it doesn't last.
This trend lately towards the eternal question is teetering dangerously close to a 9/11 thread path.....:shrug: makes sense, I guess......bye week before SBXLII and Super Tuesday.......lots of news cycles to fill......
Reminds me of a legendary bit of graffitti from the men's restroom at The Sanctuary in Iowa City.....dunno if its still even there.......but back in the day, someone took a Bic pen and furiously scribbled "Jesus Saves" on the wall so it would be in bold type......must've taken 30 minutes and was probably the only thing that poor pen ever printed, but the author got it done.
Someone later took a Magic Marker to place a postscript........every time I pass a church or see the phrase "Jesus Saves" I remember the only dump I took at this pub and lmfao........
JESUS SAVES.......but Gretzky scores on the rebound!!!:scared
Sorry.........never get tired of it!
Reminds me of a legendary bit of graffitti from the men's restroom at The Sanctuary in Iowa City.....dunno if its still even there.......but back in the day, someone took a Bic pen and furiously scribbled "Jesus Saves" on the wall so it would be in bold type......must've taken 30 minutes and was probably the only thing that poor pen ever printed, but the author got it done.
Someone later took a Magic Marker to place a postscript........every time I pass a church or see the phrase "Jesus Saves" I remember the only dump I took at this pub and lmfao........
JESUS SAVES.......but Gretzky scores on the rebound!!!:scared
Sorry.........never get tired of it!
:00hour
Is THAT where I got that saying at, Doc? I use it a lot, for many different reasons...
I spent more than a few nights tipping imports at the bar at the Sanctuary in my time. Had a friend that bartended there for a few years, then dated a girl that waitressed there.
I'll be in Iowa City later this week, if I have time I'll stop in and see if its still there....:mj07:
