What are your favorite Simpsons Quotes ?
- Thread starter Kanuck
- Start date
Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
Homer: I like my TV loud, my beer cold and my Homosexuals just flaming.
LOL
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
Homer: I like my TV loud, my beer cold and my Homosexuals just flaming.
LOL
Marge: "Homer, please help me fold the laundry"
Homer: "I hate folding laundry. Especially the sheets."
Marge: "Those aren't sheets, Homer. They're your underwear."
:142smilie
Homer: "I hate folding laundry. Especially the sheets."
Marge: "Those aren't sheets, Homer. They're your underwear."
:142smilie
Bart to Moe on the phone: Can I speak to Amanda Hugginkiss?
Moe to the bar: Amanda Hugginkiss? I need A Man to Hug and Kiss. :mj07:
Moe to the bar: Amanda Hugginkiss? I need A Man to Hug and Kiss. :mj07:
Too many to name but here are a few of my favorites:
"Here's to alcohol - the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try"
Homer: Marge, you know whenever I learn something new it pushes out old stuff! Remember when I took that home wine-making class and forgot how to drive??
Marge: You were drunk!
Homer [reminiscing happily]: And how.
"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get"
"Here's to alcohol - the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try"
Homer: Marge, you know whenever I learn something new it pushes out old stuff! Remember when I took that home wine-making class and forgot how to drive??
Marge: You were drunk!
Homer [reminiscing happily]: And how.
"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get"
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Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the bible.?
?Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.?
?What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.?
Chief Clancy Wiggum (The Simpsons):* "We won! We won! We won! Um, unfortunately, I bet on the other team, so we won't be going for pizza."
I?m normally not a praying man, but if you?re up there, please save me Superman.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They?re about to announce the lottery numbers.
Marge, don?t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It?s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.
Lisa, if you don?t like your job you don?t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That?s the American way.
Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn?t, it?s that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
And a couple others
Paul Newman, in The Color of Money:* "A dollar won is twice as sweet as a dollar earned."
Minnesota Fats:* "You don't learn from smart people, you learn from idiots.* Watch what they do, and then don't do it."
?I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.? Mitch Hedberg
American Proverb:* A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
?Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.?
?What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.?
Chief Clancy Wiggum (The Simpsons):* "We won! We won! We won! Um, unfortunately, I bet on the other team, so we won't be going for pizza."
I?m normally not a praying man, but if you?re up there, please save me Superman.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They?re about to announce the lottery numbers.
Marge, don?t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It?s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.
Lisa, if you don?t like your job you don?t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That?s the American way.
Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn?t, it?s that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
And a couple others
Paul Newman, in The Color of Money:* "A dollar won is twice as sweet as a dollar earned."
Minnesota Fats:* "You don't learn from smart people, you learn from idiots.* Watch what they do, and then don't do it."
?I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.? Mitch Hedberg
American Proverb:* A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
- Feb 12, 2000
- 10,652
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favorite scene
favorite scene
==This is the scene after Homer starts his home internet business, CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet.==
Back at the peaceful Simpsons house. Homer is reading "Internet for Dummies".
HOMER
Oh, they have the Internet on computers now!
MARGE
Homer, Bill Gates is here.
HOMER
Bill Gates?! Millionaire computer nerd Bill Gates! Oh my god. Oh my god. Get out of sight, Marge. I don't want this to look like a two-bit operation.
Marge groans and rolls her eyes. Bill Gates and two "associates" enter.
GATES
Mr. Simpson?
HOMER
You don't look so rich.
GATES
Don't let the haircut fool you, I am exceedingly wealthy.
HOMER
(quietly to Marge) Get a load of the bowl-job, Marge!
GATES
Your Internet ad was brought to my attention, but I can't figure out what, if anything, CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet does, so rather than risk competing with you, I've decided simply to buy you out.
Homer and Marge step aside to talk privately.
HOMER
This is it Marge. I've poured my heart and soul into this business and now it's finally paying off. (covering his mouth) We're rich! Richer than astronauts.
MARGE
Homer quiet. Acquire the deal.
HOMER
(to Gates) I reluctantly accept your proposal!
GATES
Well everyone always does. Buy 'em out, boys!
Bill Gates companions begin to trash the "office".
HOMER
Hey, what the hell's going on!
GATES
Oh, I didn't get rich by writing a lot of checks!
Bill Gates lets out a maniacal laugh. Homer and Marge cower in the corner as the room continues to be trashed.
favorite scene
==This is the scene after Homer starts his home internet business, CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet.==
Back at the peaceful Simpsons house. Homer is reading "Internet for Dummies".
HOMER
Oh, they have the Internet on computers now!
MARGE
Homer, Bill Gates is here.
HOMER
Bill Gates?! Millionaire computer nerd Bill Gates! Oh my god. Oh my god. Get out of sight, Marge. I don't want this to look like a two-bit operation.
Marge groans and rolls her eyes. Bill Gates and two "associates" enter.
GATES
Mr. Simpson?
HOMER
You don't look so rich.
GATES
Don't let the haircut fool you, I am exceedingly wealthy.
HOMER
(quietly to Marge) Get a load of the bowl-job, Marge!
GATES
Your Internet ad was brought to my attention, but I can't figure out what, if anything, CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet does, so rather than risk competing with you, I've decided simply to buy you out.
Homer and Marge step aside to talk privately.
HOMER
This is it Marge. I've poured my heart and soul into this business and now it's finally paying off. (covering his mouth) We're rich! Richer than astronauts.
MARGE
Homer quiet. Acquire the deal.
HOMER
(to Gates) I reluctantly accept your proposal!
GATES
Well everyone always does. Buy 'em out, boys!
Bill Gates companions begin to trash the "office".
HOMER
Hey, what the hell's going on!
GATES
Oh, I didn't get rich by writing a lot of checks!
Bill Gates lets out a maniacal laugh. Homer and Marge cower in the corner as the room continues to be trashed.
- Mar 13, 2002
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Homer (giving a lecture on marriage): What is a wedding? Webster's Dictionary defines a wedding as "The process of removing weeds from one's garden."
Apu:Hey! hey! This is not a lending library! If you're not going to buy that thing, put it down or I'll blow your heads off!
Apu: Snap on your bulletproof vest, Sanjay, it's time for another bank run."
Sanjay: "All right. But if I don't make it, promise you won't sleep with my wife."
Apu: "I promise nothing."
Apu:Hey! hey! This is not a lending library! If you're not going to buy that thing, put it down or I'll blow your heads off!
Apu: Snap on your bulletproof vest, Sanjay, it's time for another bank run."
Sanjay: "All right. But if I don't make it, promise you won't sleep with my wife."
Apu: "I promise nothing."
Insurance Man: And this "Moe's" - is this some sort of business?
Homer's Brain: Don't say you were at a bar, don't say you were at a bar... But what else is open at midnight?
Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Homer's Brain: Don't say you were at a bar, don't say you were at a bar... But what else is open at midnight?
Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
