Man charged with battery for farting near cop

buddy

Registered User
Forum Member
Nov 21, 2000
10,897
85
0
Pittsburgh, Pa.
Police say suspect passed 'very odorous' gas during breathalyzer test

SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. - A man has been charged with battery on a police officer for allegedly passing gas and fanning it toward a patrolman.

Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, W. Va., was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said.

According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.

As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.

Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.

"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.

He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.

'I couldn't hold it no more'

Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman.

He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.

"I couldn't hold it no more," he said.

He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged.

He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack.

The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.

Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him.

"This is ridiculous," he said. "I could be facing time."
 

gardenweasel

el guapo
Forum Member
Jan 10, 2002
40,580
228
63
"the bunker"
they`ve got him on the dui......the "breathalyzer" sinks him....


but i saw no mention of what he blew on the "stink-o-meter"....without that hard evidence, doubt the cops can prove their case...
 
Last edited:

gardenweasel

el guapo
Forum Member
Jan 10, 2002
40,580
228
63
"the bunker"
:rimshot



Liquid_ASS_Bottle.jpg


customer quote: the smell of liquid ASS/

"liquid ass is the most authentic smelling ass product i have found.....it combines both a bona fide turd smell with the gaseous effects of a noxious fart bomb".

? jen from colorado


high praise from a "researcher".....
gas_mask_la_a.jpg


indeed..
 
Last edited:

buddy

Registered User
Forum Member
Nov 21, 2000
10,897
85
0
Pittsburgh, Pa.
Not a huge shock that you couldn't resist entertaining us with your 3rd grade 'humor' in this thread.

kosar
Centrist

Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: ft myers, fl
Posts: 8,969
Quote:
Originally Posted by SixFive
early this am, one of my patients had on Saved By the Bell. The episode was where they had the Zack Attack band. Do you have a copy of that tape?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NZslRqjZ9Y

Never did understand how it was fair for A.C. Slater to be on Dancing with the Stars when he has so much talent.

That was the one with Casey Casem narrating Zack Attack's rise and fall, right? That was a pretty good one. Quite a cautionary tale of how no one band member is above the band as a whole.
_________________

Saved By The Bell?

Ding-Dong / Ko-sar

(more third grade humor)

:mj07:
 

gardenweasel

el guapo
Forum Member
Jan 10, 2002
40,580
228
63
"the bunker"
3 kosar threads in one evening?....

this is like the "tuskegee experiment"...except for honky degenerate gamblers....

they`re trying to see just how much folderol we can tolerate before our heads explode..
 
Last edited:

kosar

Centrist
Forum Member
Nov 27, 1999
11,112
55
0
ft myers, fl
Saved By The Bell?

Ding-Dong / Ko-sar

(more third grade humor)

:mj07:

You supposedly suddenly live your life guided by the bible and your false prophet 'pastor.'

I let life lessons taught by Saved By the Bell guide *me*.

Each to their own.
 

kosar

Centrist
Forum Member
Nov 27, 1999
11,112
55
0
ft myers, fl
3 kosar threads in one evening?....

this is like the "tuskegee experiment"...except for honky degenerate gamblers....

they`re trying to see just how much folderol we can tolerate before our heads explode..

Not sure exactly what's going on around here, Weasie.
 

Eddie Haskell

Matt 02-12-11
Forum Member
Feb 13, 2001
4,595
41
0
26
Cincinnati
aclu.org
I'm wondering what he would be charged with if he lit the fart and waived it toward the police officer? Felonious arson? Unlawful burning?

When a police officer tries to make a fart "contact" please calll a lawyer. If thats the case, I assault at least 30 people a day walking down 4th Street in Cincinnati.

Eddie
 

Beebs

Registered User
Forum Member
Jan 4, 2005
856
2
0
it must be that god awful skyline chilli

who puts cinnamon in chilli?
 

MadJack

Administrator
Staff member
Forum Admin
Super Moderators
Channel Owner
Jul 13, 1999
105,397
1,722
113
70
home
it must be that god awful skyline chilli

who puts cinnamon in chilli?

who puts spaghetti in chili :shrug:

never heard of such a thing until i moved to indiana.
 

Eddie Haskell

Matt 02-12-11
Forum Member
Feb 13, 2001
4,595
41
0
26
Cincinnati
aclu.org
Beebs:

I did not know they put cinnamon in the chili at Skyline. Maybe its because I'm usually three sheets to the wind everytime I go there. By the way, Skyline is great when you are hammered. It may be an acquired taste. I don't know, but after a night of beer drinking Skyline or White Castle is hard to beat.

Eddie
 
Bet on MyBookie
Top