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  1. Cricket

    Joke

    VOTED BEST JOKE IN IRELAND John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife !" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast...
  2. Cricket

    Correctness Update

    Correctness update Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. And furthermore, HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE...
  3. Cricket

    Joke

    Subject: Frank Feldman A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along...
  4. Cricket

    Hilton picks?

    Anybody seen MJ's Hilton picks?
  5. Cricket

    Two Lawyers

    Two lawyers had been stranded on a desert island for several months. The only thing on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food. Each day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to see if he could spot a rescue boat coming... One day the lawyer yelled down from...
  7. Cricket

    Home Remedies That Really Work

    Home remedies that really work. THESE REALLY WORK!! AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES: 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK...
  8. Cricket

    The Black Bra

    The Black Bra (as told by a woman) I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friend. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto...
  9. Cricket

    Bar Harbor

    Heading for Bar harbor Maine next week ,then Freeport. Any recommondations, good restaurants ,things to do. Thanks
  10. Cricket

    Medical News

    Pfizer Corporation Announcement......... Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one...
  11. Cricket

    Deep Thinking

    What deep thinkers men are... I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said 'nothing'. The reason I said that instead of...
  13. Cricket

    Polka time

    http://webcafe.net.hr/forwarduse/video/inner.html?select=201307130004503
  14. Cricket

    Welfare Check

    A young man walked into the local welfare office to pick up his cheque. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing." The social worker behind the...
  15. Cricket

    Ole Blue

    "Ole Blue" A young cowboy from Montana goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all his money .... he calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Alabama that will teach our...
  16. Cricket

    Rye Bread

    Rye Bread Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87-year-old said, "Well...
  17. Cricket

    World History

    Click on the link below and 500 images will flash before you in two minutes. That's a little over 4 images per second. You will not have an opportunity to see and understand each image. Just look and allow the images to wash over you....it is quite an experience. Click...
  19. Cricket

    Audit

    THE AUDIT MYRON Greenberg, a wealthy L.A. businessman received a letter of Audit from the IRS. It really upsets him and he called his Accountant, SAUL Meyers. MYRON: (pleading): Saul, what are they doing to me? Why are they doing this to me? Saul (calming); Myron, don't worry about it. I've...
  20. Cricket

    Homicide 101 Test

    HOMICIDE 101 TEST Read this question, come up with an answer This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has gotten it right?few people do. A woman, while at the funeral of her mother, met a man whom she did not know. She thought he was amazing. She believed him to...
  21. Cricket

    Definitions of Old

    I'M A LITTLE TIRED OF THESE JOKES BECAUSE THEY ARE COMING TRUE Definition Of Old I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, 'Are you having it catered'? And that, my friend, is the sad definition of 'OLD'! Just before the funeral...
  22. Cricket

    Jack

    How come my post total never changes, seems to be stuck at 633?
  23. Cricket

    Last Night Of Love

    After his annual checkup, Bob learns that he has a rare disease and 12 hours to live. His wife tearfully says, "Honey, I'm going to give you a night you'll never forget." They make passionate love with an ardor they haven't felt in years. When they're done, Bob asks his wife, "Can we do it...
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