50 Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex
from a women's perspective
1) having a porn collection is great PROVIDING she knows about it once you are in a relationship and that you use it together. boys you will be suprised at how many women would agree to the stimulation we have our lazy days too.
2) changing directions or movements every 5 seconds? when a women moans in, it means \"keep doing that, i like it\". when she is quiet you know to try something else
3) Refusing a women sex when she initiates it? you are quick to complain about about men always having to put the effort in but boys if you refuse us when we initiate it, it sticks in our minds and we loose confidence to intiate it again.
4) Boobs are not the only body part. They?re nice. Agreed. But you are not here to have a milk fest. Please notice the neck, back.. infact, every part of her body is itching for it.
5) grabbing her boobs and saying 'hey baby, wanna ****?" does not count as foreplay.
6) just because it 'always worked before" dosen't mean it will work now. Every girl is different. Stop getting insulted and try something new
7) just because you're ex had a thing for anal dosen't mean you can just sneak it in and hope we won't notice. Thats not the sort of thing you can miss. And no, I don't believe it was an accident.
8) Stop whining when it takes a while to get her off. It isn't in her control. Man up and keep licking- it isn't like she's witholding orgasm to irritate you!
9) Just because you wake up at 3am with a raging boner, that dosen't mean I'm going to be horny when you wake me up. If I tell you to go spend 10 minutes in the bathroom, don't get insulted. You have a hand for a reason.
10) Asking me to do something you saw in a porno is like me asking you to do something I saw on the NFL. I'm not a professional, so don't get insulted if I don't bend the same way as a professional. Just because its physically possible dosen't make it practical. If you can't throw a football 200 yards, I can't put my knee around my neck.
11) Just because you're ex had no gag reflex dosen't mean I can deepthroat. Get over it, I'm doing the best I can. Stop shoving my head down and enjoy the things I CAN do. Do you really want me to puke on you?
12) Don't expect a blowjob when you get home from the gym. Those things stink when they get sweaty, and its most likely covered with dried pee. Don't get insulted when I ask you to wash it off before going near it.
13) Asking for a 3 some is okay. Telling me that you want to have a 3 some with that hot blonde next door because you hear she can do crazy things with her tongue and you've wanted to bone her since freshman year is not okay.
14) Don't get angry when I don't want to have a 3 some with another girl. Some people just aren't okay with that. Would you have a 3 some with another guy if I wanted to?
15) Telling me a story about how you're ex could do something better then I can IS a legitmate reason to withhold sex for a week. Appreciate what you have, and stop bitching about it.
16) Don't ask if my Ex had a bigger penis then you. Or was better in bed. The answer is probally yes, and do you really want to hear that?
17) Just because you got off dosen't mean its over.
18) Just because you jerked off 8 times a day before we got together dosen't mean that I need to put out that often. Things get sore. You've got hands. Do the math.
19) Jerking off while you think I'm asleep and moaning about how hot jenna jameson is IS insulting. Do it while I'm not around.
20) Man up and cuddle afterwards. Just because you're sleepy isn't a good excuse for rolling over and ignoring me completely.
21) Candles and roses ARE nice sometimes. Just because it dosen't turn you on dosen't mean it dosen't turn me on.
22) Getting upset if I don't want to swallow. That shit is nasty sometimes. If you won't take the effort to eat some fruit so it will taste better, then don't expect me to moan about how great it is.
23) Just because she?s on her peroid dosen't mean she need to blow you every night. Remember she?s crampy and pissed off.
24) Respect my boundaries. Just because you think porno cum shots are hot dosen't mean I have to do it. Don't forget, porn stars get PAID to do that sort of thing.
25) If I say no, that dosen't mean you can just wait to try something when I'm drunk. It dosen't matter how many shots of jamesons I've had, I WILL notice if you're going for the back door.
26) Whining about the lack of sex isn't a turn on. Thats going to get you less, not more. If I'm not into it, then chances are, you're not doing something right.
27) Not all women can come from just sex. It isn't about you, and you aren't doing anything wrong. Stop whining, because pressuring someone to have an orgasm just isn't going to work. Man up and go for round two. Do you really want me to fake it?
28) asking to use lube dosen't mean that I'm not turned on. Sometimes the plumbing and the electricity aren't always connected.
29) Spitting on it dosen't count as lube. Thats nasty.
30) Don't expect me to be on the pill. Sometimes things happen and we have to use condoms. Get over it. Just because it dosen't feel as good for you isn't an excuse to get me pregnant.
31) Warn me if you're going to be talking dirty. Calling someone a whore or a slut in regular life is an insult. If I get insulted, don't be suprised.
32) Don't get insulted if I skip a day with the razor. Stubble happens. If you aren't going to shave every day, don't expect me to.
33) Shave before you go down on me. Try this- rub a peice of coarse sandpaper quickly along the inside of your thigh for 10 minutes or so. Then tell me if the resulting blood and irritatation is a turn on.
34) I'm not a porn star. Not all of the underwear I own is sexy. If you want me to look like that every time I get undressed, then you go out and spend 50$ a set on new undies. I can't afford that any more then you can.
35) Trim that thing! Girls don't like hair any more then men do. If I wanted to floss my teeth, then I'd go to the bathroom. Trying to inhale through a thick nest of pubes is close to impossible.
36) If I need to take the occasional break while I'm going down on you, don't bitch. Sometimes I need to come up for air. Enjoy the handjob in the mean time.
37) Just because you heard pheremones are a turn on for girls dosen't mean you can go without showering for a week.
38) Belching, farting and scratching your balls isn't sexy. Its okay every once in a while, but don't expect us to be turned on afterwards.
39) Being too sleepy or drunk for sex dosen't mean you're entitled to a blowjob. I'm tired too.
40) Bragging about how good the sex is to your friends is okay. Referring to me as 'that sweet peice of ass' to your friends in front of me? That is sucide for sex life.
41) The more often you ask for a blowjob, the less I'm going to want to do it. Pestering me isn't going to turn me on.
42) If you don't look like Brad Pitt, don't expect me to look like a porn star. If you aren't willing to spend have the day in the gym to be sexy for me, don't expect me to do it for you.
43) Do not, under any circimstances, tell me that you wish my boobs were bigger or my ass was smaller. Even if I ask. How would you feel if I told you I wished your long john was well a bit longer?
44) Undressing her roughly. Just because she agreed doesn?t mean you take it for granted. Take it easy. Learn to be patient.
45) Nothing is more comical (or pathetic) to a woman than a man in his socks and pants. Except possibly a naked man wearing socks. If you don't understand why, just accept that it is so.
46) Pecking away around her vagina with your penis if you can't find the way in. This is, by all accounts, many women's least desired sexual moment. If for any reason you can't get in, don't pretend you're in control and keep trying. Simply ask her to guide you in with her hand. That way you'll save a lot of embarrassment, not to mention time.
47) Expecting her to shave your naughty bits. Man up. If you want some, do some work.
48) Pumping away without regard for her pleasure. You like it fast and rough and that?s kool but think about the girl.. pounding it one minute and out and done the second is like blowing you and then talking about your parents before you jizz. That?s the best analogy I could come up.
49) Not going down on her when she wants oral pleasure. If you are unwilling you will never ever experience my juicy lips on your Johnny. And I?ll kick you in the nuts if you even mentioned the word ?swallow?
50) Switching on a hard core porn film without asking whether that's OK with her. You wouldn?t like it if she suddenly started talking about her new dress or shoes in the middle of sex.
from a women's perspective
1) having a porn collection is great PROVIDING she knows about it once you are in a relationship and that you use it together. boys you will be suprised at how many women would agree to the stimulation we have our lazy days too.
2) changing directions or movements every 5 seconds? when a women moans in, it means \"keep doing that, i like it\". when she is quiet you know to try something else
3) Refusing a women sex when she initiates it? you are quick to complain about about men always having to put the effort in but boys if you refuse us when we initiate it, it sticks in our minds and we loose confidence to intiate it again.
4) Boobs are not the only body part. They?re nice. Agreed. But you are not here to have a milk fest. Please notice the neck, back.. infact, every part of her body is itching for it.
5) grabbing her boobs and saying 'hey baby, wanna ****?" does not count as foreplay.
6) just because it 'always worked before" dosen't mean it will work now. Every girl is different. Stop getting insulted and try something new
7) just because you're ex had a thing for anal dosen't mean you can just sneak it in and hope we won't notice. Thats not the sort of thing you can miss. And no, I don't believe it was an accident.
8) Stop whining when it takes a while to get her off. It isn't in her control. Man up and keep licking- it isn't like she's witholding orgasm to irritate you!
9) Just because you wake up at 3am with a raging boner, that dosen't mean I'm going to be horny when you wake me up. If I tell you to go spend 10 minutes in the bathroom, don't get insulted. You have a hand for a reason.
10) Asking me to do something you saw in a porno is like me asking you to do something I saw on the NFL. I'm not a professional, so don't get insulted if I don't bend the same way as a professional. Just because its physically possible dosen't make it practical. If you can't throw a football 200 yards, I can't put my knee around my neck.
11) Just because you're ex had no gag reflex dosen't mean I can deepthroat. Get over it, I'm doing the best I can. Stop shoving my head down and enjoy the things I CAN do. Do you really want me to puke on you?
12) Don't expect a blowjob when you get home from the gym. Those things stink when they get sweaty, and its most likely covered with dried pee. Don't get insulted when I ask you to wash it off before going near it.
13) Asking for a 3 some is okay. Telling me that you want to have a 3 some with that hot blonde next door because you hear she can do crazy things with her tongue and you've wanted to bone her since freshman year is not okay.
14) Don't get angry when I don't want to have a 3 some with another girl. Some people just aren't okay with that. Would you have a 3 some with another guy if I wanted to?
15) Telling me a story about how you're ex could do something better then I can IS a legitmate reason to withhold sex for a week. Appreciate what you have, and stop bitching about it.
16) Don't ask if my Ex had a bigger penis then you. Or was better in bed. The answer is probally yes, and do you really want to hear that?
17) Just because you got off dosen't mean its over.
18) Just because you jerked off 8 times a day before we got together dosen't mean that I need to put out that often. Things get sore. You've got hands. Do the math.
19) Jerking off while you think I'm asleep and moaning about how hot jenna jameson is IS insulting. Do it while I'm not around.
20) Man up and cuddle afterwards. Just because you're sleepy isn't a good excuse for rolling over and ignoring me completely.
21) Candles and roses ARE nice sometimes. Just because it dosen't turn you on dosen't mean it dosen't turn me on.
22) Getting upset if I don't want to swallow. That shit is nasty sometimes. If you won't take the effort to eat some fruit so it will taste better, then don't expect me to moan about how great it is.
23) Just because she?s on her peroid dosen't mean she need to blow you every night. Remember she?s crampy and pissed off.
24) Respect my boundaries. Just because you think porno cum shots are hot dosen't mean I have to do it. Don't forget, porn stars get PAID to do that sort of thing.
25) If I say no, that dosen't mean you can just wait to try something when I'm drunk. It dosen't matter how many shots of jamesons I've had, I WILL notice if you're going for the back door.
26) Whining about the lack of sex isn't a turn on. Thats going to get you less, not more. If I'm not into it, then chances are, you're not doing something right.
27) Not all women can come from just sex. It isn't about you, and you aren't doing anything wrong. Stop whining, because pressuring someone to have an orgasm just isn't going to work. Man up and go for round two. Do you really want me to fake it?
28) asking to use lube dosen't mean that I'm not turned on. Sometimes the plumbing and the electricity aren't always connected.
29) Spitting on it dosen't count as lube. Thats nasty.
30) Don't expect me to be on the pill. Sometimes things happen and we have to use condoms. Get over it. Just because it dosen't feel as good for you isn't an excuse to get me pregnant.
31) Warn me if you're going to be talking dirty. Calling someone a whore or a slut in regular life is an insult. If I get insulted, don't be suprised.
32) Don't get insulted if I skip a day with the razor. Stubble happens. If you aren't going to shave every day, don't expect me to.
33) Shave before you go down on me. Try this- rub a peice of coarse sandpaper quickly along the inside of your thigh for 10 minutes or so. Then tell me if the resulting blood and irritatation is a turn on.
34) I'm not a porn star. Not all of the underwear I own is sexy. If you want me to look like that every time I get undressed, then you go out and spend 50$ a set on new undies. I can't afford that any more then you can.
35) Trim that thing! Girls don't like hair any more then men do. If I wanted to floss my teeth, then I'd go to the bathroom. Trying to inhale through a thick nest of pubes is close to impossible.
36) If I need to take the occasional break while I'm going down on you, don't bitch. Sometimes I need to come up for air. Enjoy the handjob in the mean time.
37) Just because you heard pheremones are a turn on for girls dosen't mean you can go without showering for a week.
38) Belching, farting and scratching your balls isn't sexy. Its okay every once in a while, but don't expect us to be turned on afterwards.
39) Being too sleepy or drunk for sex dosen't mean you're entitled to a blowjob. I'm tired too.
40) Bragging about how good the sex is to your friends is okay. Referring to me as 'that sweet peice of ass' to your friends in front of me? That is sucide for sex life.
41) The more often you ask for a blowjob, the less I'm going to want to do it. Pestering me isn't going to turn me on.
42) If you don't look like Brad Pitt, don't expect me to look like a porn star. If you aren't willing to spend have the day in the gym to be sexy for me, don't expect me to do it for you.
43) Do not, under any circimstances, tell me that you wish my boobs were bigger or my ass was smaller. Even if I ask. How would you feel if I told you I wished your long john was well a bit longer?
44) Undressing her roughly. Just because she agreed doesn?t mean you take it for granted. Take it easy. Learn to be patient.
45) Nothing is more comical (or pathetic) to a woman than a man in his socks and pants. Except possibly a naked man wearing socks. If you don't understand why, just accept that it is so.
46) Pecking away around her vagina with your penis if you can't find the way in. This is, by all accounts, many women's least desired sexual moment. If for any reason you can't get in, don't pretend you're in control and keep trying. Simply ask her to guide you in with her hand. That way you'll save a lot of embarrassment, not to mention time.
47) Expecting her to shave your naughty bits. Man up. If you want some, do some work.
48) Pumping away without regard for her pleasure. You like it fast and rough and that?s kool but think about the girl.. pounding it one minute and out and done the second is like blowing you and then talking about your parents before you jizz. That?s the best analogy I could come up.
49) Not going down on her when she wants oral pleasure. If you are unwilling you will never ever experience my juicy lips on your Johnny. And I?ll kick you in the nuts if you even mentioned the word ?swallow?
50) Switching on a hard core porn film without asking whether that's OK with her. You wouldn?t like it if she suddenly started talking about her new dress or shoes in the middle of sex.
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