LITTLE BILLY ON GETTING OLDER
Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,
"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you
acne, rot your
teeth, and make you fat."
Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own Damn business!!"
LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little BILLY.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is
delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second
is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the
top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH
Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father."
"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the ****ing difference?" asks the father?
"That's what I said!"
Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,
"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you
acne, rot your
teeth, and make you fat."
Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own Damn business!!"
LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little BILLY.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is
delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second
is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the
top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH
Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father."
"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the ****ing difference?" asks the father?
"That's what I said!"
