"Ahma tell ya who I run into yesterday........"

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Under .500
Forum Member
Mar 16, 2000
On the course!
I decided to head up to the Oneida casino to give my Christmas tribute to the "tax free timber refugees" yesterday. I dumped a few bucks, meaning the old lady will only get a cheap $150 coat this Christmas, like the one "six-five" thinks is nice.


Well, I'm looking around the casino for my gal, and it was pretty crowded. Luckily, most of the "patrons" are Hmong, so you can see right over the top of them. The thing is, with that shrill cackling that they do, it sounds like you're in a hen house! It's pretty bad when the Hispanics are getting pissed off.

At any rate, while I'm looking for mama, I decide to plop my ass down at another table, and let her find me. As I'm playing cards, I keep scoping out the other side of the pit, in hopes of catching her walking past. Well, an image catches my eye that makes me do a double, and then a triple take. I actually say to the guy dealing cards, "Holy shit. That guy looks like Paul Maguire"

After thinking for a few seconds, it dawned on me that ESPN would be in town to film that great match-up between Detroit and Green Bay on Sunday night. It would only be fitting that this clod would be tipping a Bud at 4pm, and looking for a hand of blackjack at the only entertainment venue in this god forsaken town!

He looked like he could have been any other pig farmer or truck driver sitting at the table. I watched him take a seat at the $25 table, and shoved the rest of my chips into my betting spot. After busting out, as I was sure to do, I walked over and stood behind the storied punter/LB.

He didn't say too much, and was betting a hundy a hand. A few hands into it, he gets a pair of 9's against the dealer's 6. I cried out, "Ahma tell ya what....You don't split those 9's, and your missing out on a golden opportunity, here!"

He says, "Really?"

"No doubt about it! This is the situation you sat down hoping for!"

"Eighteen is a pretty good hand....."

"I know they had to enroll you in a math class at the Citadel......."

He shot me a stare, and I gave him a wink. A slight smile broke over his crusty, well imbibed mug, and he split the 9's. He won both hands, and gave me a little nod. "The casino must hate guys like you, huh?"

"Oh, they got plenty of people willing to keep the lights on, Mr M.....enjoy your stay."

Little did he know that after this little visit, Check-N-Go would be providing Christmas once again at my house this year. Well, unless the check I asked for from Bet Royal ten days ago gets here anytime soon.

So, I finally found mama, and we headed back home. I meet a "star", and it's Paul Maguire? The thought occured to me while driving home.....

I was just wondering where Suzy hung out while she was in town.......
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Captain Crunch

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Apr 22, 2002
Lee's Summit, Mo.
Several years ago, I was at the Harrah's riverboat here in KC. It was a Saturday night before a KC-Denver game and I was on my way out when I looked over at one of the craps table and said that guy looked familiar. It was Dick Enberg and standing next to him was Phil Simms and Paul McQuire. Paul was already out of action after blowing his $500 loss limit. I jumped back in and they were there only about 10 more minutes, but it was kind of cool being at the same table with them.


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May 26, 2002
Paul Maguire is 84 years old now, I wonder if he remembers to split 9's against a 6:shrug:
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