Airline Quotes

[NickiD]

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the
in-flight "safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been
heard or reported:

-On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take
all of your belongings If you're going to leave anything, please
make sure it's something we'd like to have."

*******************************
- There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.

*****************************

- After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in
Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced,
Please take care when opening the overhead compartments
because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

**********************************

- An airline pilot really hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline."

In light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot."What is it?"

The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

**********************************************

- Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."

************************************************

- "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em.

 

[Nole]

Funny stuff. I've seen a few of these in the past but that old lady one was hilarious!

nole

 

[Captain Crunch]

A flight attendant for Southwest said this when she was trying to get everyone seated so they could take off.

"Eenie, meenie, miney, mo, take a seat so we can go"

She got sued by two African American woman who were on the plane. Didn't hear the outcome of the trial, but this is true story.

 

[Nole]

Here's a couple I've encountered in the travel biz:

I ask, "would you like a window seat or aisle seat?"

Response, "Aisle, don't want my hair to get messed up by the window."

On a cruise, old lady asks, "does this elevator go to the front of the ship?"

Another cruise, "do these stairs go up or down?"

One more cruise, "What time is the midnight buffet?"



nole

 

[marine]

I heard about that eeny meeny miney mo lawsuit... two chicks claimed it was a racial slur?

How?

I always learned it as eeny meeny miney mo, catch a tiger by the toe.

Is there something I am not catching with this? Were the ladies part tiger? Or missing their toes?

whats up?
are there alternate lyrics I am not aware of?

 

[bjfinste]

Marine,

When I was really young growing up, my friends would use this saying to pick who was going to be "it" in games like kick the can and such, but it wasn't tiger, it was a word that rhymed with tigger, if you know what I mean. I never heard it said any other way until like high school.

 

[Captain Crunch]

Marine, yes there is another version. Insert the "N" word that some people use to refer to African-Americans and you will have one of the other versions.

Word on the street is that they both have all of their digits and as far as being part tiger, that cannot be confirmed.

Sounds like the two women were purely speculating as to what the flight attendant was implying, and speculating is strictly taboo in our wonderful judicial system.

 

[marine]

So what are you sposed to do when you catch this N**** by the toe?

pedicure?


marine-
the stumped