I just read an article on the dangers of heavy drinking....
Scared the shit out of me.
So that's it!
After today, no more ****ing reading.
Scared the shit out of me.
So that's it!
After today, no more ****ing reading.
alcohol abuse
- Thread starter nitwit
- Start date
A Guy walks into Ronnie's bar and tells the Bartender to give him 6 shots of whiskey.
The bartender sets the drinks up on the bar and the man proceeds to down one drink after the other.
The bartender looks at the Guy and says..."That's some serious drinking that you are doin there, you must have some heavy problems"
The Guy replies...."Buddy, if you had what I had, you'd be drinking just like me"
The Bartender asks..."What have you got?"
The Guy replies ..."Thirty seven cents"
The bartender sets the drinks up on the bar and the man proceeds to down one drink after the other.
The bartender looks at the Guy and says..."That's some serious drinking that you are doin there, you must have some heavy problems"
The Guy replies...."Buddy, if you had what I had, you'd be drinking just like me"
The Bartender asks..."What have you got?"
The Guy replies ..."Thirty seven cents"
John Kerry walks into a bar, the bartender looks at him and says, "so why the long face?"..........
Penguin goes into a bar and walks up to the bartender and asks "hey buddy have you seen my brother". Bartender says "I don't know, what does he look like".
I believe the best argument for this is from Kingpin you have to change some bits around but the message is the same....
Ish: You should try to quit. They say its bad for your kidneys, your heart. It quickens the aging process.
Roy: Who's done more research than the good people at the American Alcohol Industry? They say its harmless. Why would they lie? If you're dead, you can't Drink.
Cheers
Irish
Ish: You should try to quit. They say its bad for your kidneys, your heart. It quickens the aging process.
Roy: Who's done more research than the good people at the American Alcohol Industry? They say its harmless. Why would they lie? If you're dead, you can't Drink.
Cheers
Irish
A Bear's fan walks into The Flame in Menomonie, Wisconsin and takes a seat next
to a
>very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks
at
>his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date
>running late?" "No," he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art
watch,
>and I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "A
state-of-the-art
>watch? What's so special about it?" The Bears fan explains, "It uses
alphawaves
>to talk to me telepathically." The lady says, "What's it telling you
now?"
>"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.""The woman giggles and
>replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!" The
Bears fan
>smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."
to a
>very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks
at
>his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date
>running late?" "No," he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art
watch,
>and I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "A
state-of-the-art
>watch? What's so special about it?" The Bears fan explains, "It uses
alphawaves
>to talk to me telepathically." The lady says, "What's it telling you
now?"
>"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.""The woman giggles and
>replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!" The
Bears fan
>smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."
One sunny day in Ireland, two men were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when one turns to the other and says "You see that man over there? He looks just like me! I think I'm gonna go over there and talk to him." So, he goes over to the man and taps him on the shoulder. "Excuse me sir," he starts, "but I noticed you look just like me!" The second man turns around and says "Yeah, I noticed the same thing, where you from?", "I'm from Dublin", second man stunned says, "Me too! What street do you live on?", "McCarthy street", second man replies, "Me too! What number is it?", the first man announces, "162", second man shocked says, "Me too! What are your parents names?", first man replies, "Connor and Shannon", second man awestruck says, "Mine too! This is unbelievable!"
So, they buy some more Guinness and they're talking some more when the bartenders change shifts. The new bartender comes in and goes up to the other bartender and asks "What's new today?" "Oh, the Murphy twins are drunk again."
:142smilie
So, they buy some more Guinness and they're talking some more when the bartenders change shifts. The new bartender comes in and goes up to the other bartender and asks "What's new today?" "Oh, the Murphy twins are drunk again."
:142smilie
A guy goes into the bar with a carrot in his ear. He orders a drink. The bar tender wants to mention the carrot but decides against it.
On the next day, the same guy with a carrot in his ear goes to the same bar and orders a drink. Again, the bar tender wants to say something about the carrot but doesn't.
The 3rd day the same guy and the same carrot go to the bar and order a drink. As the bar tender serves the man he can't stand it anymore. He says to the patron, "Hey, you know you've got a carrot in your ear?"
The patron says to the bartender, "I can't hear you! I've got a carrot in my ear."
:142smilie
On the next day, the same guy with a carrot in his ear goes to the same bar and orders a drink. Again, the bar tender wants to say something about the carrot but doesn't.
The 3rd day the same guy and the same carrot go to the bar and order a drink. As the bar tender serves the man he can't stand it anymore. He says to the patron, "Hey, you know you've got a carrot in your ear?"
The patron says to the bartender, "I can't hear you! I've got a carrot in my ear."
:142smilie
