any lawyers in the house need some legal advise

[neverteaseit]

My wife just dropped a bomb on me today she filed for divorce and you now what after I got over the initial shock of having my heart ripped out, i said to myself, if she thinks the grass is greener on the other side play ball then. my question though is about division of real estate (house).

I am the borrower and she is the co borrower. I am on a V.A. loan. I have 2 children that live with me on the weekends. We just refinanced the house 2 months ago, very little equity. I paid for all maintance on the house, lawn care upkeep and so on. Believe it or not I am the one who keeps it clean all the time. I do all the cooking. Hell i even scrub toilets. I worked 2 jobs to get this house and quit my part time job after we closed on it.


Do any of these factors help me in anyway in keeping the house. Do I have to buy her out with little or no equity in it if I am awarded the house. I tried to ask her today what she wants, she said she wants divorced as quickly as possible so maybe this is a good sign toward the house going to me. Other than that she handed my her attorneys card and sat in front of the t.v. crying for nearly 5 hours and told me to contact him she had nothing to say.

any advice appreciated. I am not letting this house go without a fight. Hopefully I get lucky and she says she doesn't want it but we all know how that goes.

Ty

 

[TIME TO MAKE $$$]

NTI,

Sorry to hear sad news, unfortunately your laws are different than Canada's laws when it comes to a divorce. Hopefully Eddie Haskell(ya right), Taoist, or BAMA, plus a few others will be able to help you out.

Keep us updated.

Best of Luck.....

Question: Has she said anything about custody of the kids?

In Canada , having sole custody of the children USUALLY results in sole ownership of the house.

 

[THE KOD]

sorry to hear about this.

It usually takes a year for you life to assume some semblence of normalcy.

First and most important thing to do is obtain a better attorney than your wife has.

Will there be alimony or child support ?
the grounds are important also.

If you dont really care about money then just let her lawyer get done working you over and you wont have any left.

If there is little or no equity in the house, she should move the hell out with whatever possessions you can agree on half.


Good luck .

Scott-Atlanta

 

[Allnet]

Regret hearing the news. I have been there and done it and it ain't fun. Yes, you are right, they can rip your heart out. Just don't let her stomp on it once she rips it out. Very seldom is there anything pleasant about this situation. I have discovered an amazing thing over the years, nothing can be more kind, caring, tender, and loving than a woman. And, at the same time nothing can be more hateful, vengeful, and fecious, and mean than a woman. Yes indeed, an amazing animal.

With little equity in the home and no children between the two of you, she may just want out. In other words, leave you with the house bills. Of course there will be contents to be split etc.. A court could rule in this direction also, so not to affect the two children that come on the weekends. There are other things to be considered, and you will need a good attorney. Assets, liabilities, retirement funds, pensions, alimony/child support if it applies,plus other circumstances. The length of time the two of you have been married can be a key issue, plus the situation of things prior to your marriage.

Could be she mainly wants out, and she could be willing to forgo all the haggling , in a effort to expedite the proceedings.

Best advise, get a good attorney( oh how that gives me cold chills) to look after your best interest. Try to maintain your composure and avoid all pissing matches. This is where she will stomp on the heart she ripped out. All they do is add fuel to the fire and keep you in a constant state of upheaval.

Good luck and truly regret hearing the news.

Your Madjack Friend
Allnet

 

[MadJack]

i'm not a lawyer but i do know that different states have different laws.

divorse can be simple and you do not need lawyers if you are reasonable with each other.

50/50 split should be a fair deal in most cases whether you think so or not.

sit down with your wife, add up your assets and add up your liabilities and split it down the middle.

most likey, your wife can't handle the mortgage and doesn't want to stay there. ask her. fuhk the lawyer. explain to your wife, the more you use lawyers, the less assets there will be to split up when it's all over.

the fact that you paid most of the bills and did most of the work around the house and made most of the money will not matter at all. most likey there will be a 50/50 split and the more you give the lawyers the less you each will have in the end.

since she hit you with this out of the blue, it sounds like maybe she has been having an affair. if you suspect this, check your state laws because some states will penalize a spouse that committed adultary (sp), but most states are no fault and still split it up 50/50.

again, i'm not a lawyer but have been through one of these and we worked it out. i think i paid a lawyer 100 bucks to draw up a separation agreement and she probably paid the same to have one look it over. the rest was handled between us.

good luck.

 

[WHY ASK WHY?]

hAVE HAD 3 DIVORCES ...iF SHE WANTS OUT QUICKLY....TELL HER YOU WILL PAY FOR THE DIVORCE ...BE DAMN SURE YOU GET YOUR OWN LAWYER....DON'T PAY HERS...AND ABOVE ALL ACT QUICK DELAY WILL MAKE HER MORE AGGRESSIVE TOWARDS YOUR PROPERTY ...IF SHE THINKS TH GRASS IS GREENER OPEN TH GATE QUICK!!!

THE FIRST 100 DAYS CAN BE BAD FOR TH ONE THAT IS LEFT
(IE THE FIRST 5 ROUNDS) LOTTA STIFF JABS IN TH FACE.

THE 2ND 100 DAYS THINGS CLEAR UP AND YOU GAIN YOUR 2ND WIND( IE..ROUNDS 5-9 ) YOUR OPPONENTS PUNCHES LOSE STEAM.

DAY 201 AND AFTER ...iT GETS BETTER & BETTER ....(AND YOU SMILE A LOT...)

BEEN THERE AND WISH SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME THIS IN TIME!!!

BEST TO YA:


WHY?

 

[neverteaseit]

thx for replys. i plan on obtaining my own attorney. have no children with current wife or soon to be ex. her income is only a mere 1300.00 a month. I know she cannot afford this house. I will contact her attorney monday and see what she wants from this and go from there I guess. thx again will keep ya posted.

 

[skulldog]

NTI, I feel for ya, been there done that and I am still paying for it.

First things first>

1. Don't call her attorney, hire your own and let him/her do it(I'd hire a female)

2. This is going to hurt , but here goes, she already has someone else, they all do so that's the reason she wants it done quickly( I was in denial and I wouldn't listen when someone told me she had someone else.)

3. I live in Ma which is proably one of the worst states for men in divorce cases, but usualyy Judges don't want to hear about real estate and they usually say sell it and split any profits, if there isn't any equity, then he may allow you to keep it, as to not upset the kids from the previous relationship.

Adultry doesn't mean shit anymore, christ half of the lawyers and judges are banging anything that comes there way.

"Very seldom is there anything pleasant about this situation. I have discovered an amazing thing over the years, nothing can be more kind, caring, tender, and loving than a woman. And, at the same time nothing can be more hateful, vengeful, and fecious, and mean than a woman. Yes indeed, an amazing animal.

Amen Allnet.

Remember the more you fight w/her, the more $$$$ it's going to cost.

GL and keep us posted( I feel your pain)

 

[neverteaseit]

YEA SKULLDOG, I am thinking the same way. I believe there is someone else also. Today is a new day for sure, my what a difference a day makes. I will just go about my usual business and think positive. I only thing I said to her today was If she wants a quick and easy divorce then move out and let me take the house over and she can have anything else. But she just said talk to her attorney. So thats it for me no arguing, no pleading with her just let the lawyers sort it out. And believe me I know about the $$$ for dragging this crap out. My first divorce we had a custody battle and I got hooked for nearly 7,000 in attorney fees and lost my kids too boot, no porperty that time. luckily I was wise enough to rent a house instead of buying one. So I will try to minimize losses this time in the cash department

 

[Magic_01]

I don't know what the situation would be on your predicament, hopefully everything works out for you.

I have a question as well. We got disturbing the peace a few weeks ago, and I am just curious how much does the fine run for something like that?? I don't know if it would be better to pleade guilty, and pay, or pleade inosent, and get a public defender, and try to fight it, or if it is even worth the time and effort.

 

[WHY ASK WHY?]

Best advice i can give you is....DON'T TALK WITH HER LAWYER AT ALL!!!!
LET YOURS DO IT.............. LAWYERS ARE SNEAKY AND HE WILL WANT YOU TO PAY HIM ! ..."........ "HARMLESS "CONVERSATION ON THE PHONE WITH AN OPPOSING LAWYER CAN TRAP YOU!!

AGREE TO PAY AND SAVE HER SOME MONEY....IF HANDLED BY YOUR LAWYER ONLY...

BEEN THERE
GOT STUNG
NO MONEY LEFT 4 T-SHIRT!

1 LAWYER CAN HANDLE IT IF NO MAJOR DIS AGREEMENTS .(PERSONAL PROPERTY)..90 % OF THESE DON'T NEED TO PAY 2 ALSO NEVER USE HERS OR TALK TO HIM!



WHY?

 

[MadJack]

check these forums out. i'll bet they have some answers for you.

http://www.infidelity.com/cgi-ubb/ultimatebb.cgi

 

[neverteaseit]

thx jack and others

 

[skulldog]

NTI, Isn't the family court system a fuking joke Just because the kids come from their loins, doesn't automatically make them a mother and vice versa!! But most of these judges have their heads up their asses when it comes to custody battles and the only one that wins is the lawyers, go figure.

Men must pick their battles when it comes to the family court, women **** up and they say" Their doing the best they can", men **** up and it's " take the kids away he's a bad influence".

I don't fight anymore, it's too expensive and it's like throwing $$$ out the window.

I know that you don't have any kids w/her, so that works in your favor, but try to insulate your kids from thee battle.

GL

P.S. Sorry for the rant