Best of luck with this.....about 5 years ago my stepson died from a drug overdose (he was 21), my wife hasn't been the same since. My other stepson battled heroin for a number of years and is finally clean (wife's family has a history of addiction problems......wife does not). Sometimes I wonder if anybody can really help a junkie clean up.....they have to want to do it for themselves......my heart goes out to you. Good luck.
Any suggestions?
- Thread starter UGA12
- Start date
I was going to say much of the same. I had problems with painkillers and I guarantee you everyone knows someone who has been affected by them whether they know it yet or not. I have been clean now for over two years and all my Dr.'s know not to give me that shat.
I have been married for almost 15 years, have two beautiful children, and for some time, all I cared about was if I was going to have enough painkillers to get me through the day.
The point is this, unless he wants to get better, there is nothing in the world you can do. That stupid fuckin show "Intervention", is complete bullshit.
Let's get a TV camera, trick the addict, and tell them we are out of his life forever. :0074 Idiots
One day I just decided that I was done. Got into an outpatient program, and eventually found out what was going on. Luckily, I didn't hit rock bottom before I got help. That is not the case most of the time.
The point UGA is that there is no secret formula that you can do to insure that he will get better. My advice - Give him a list of all the things that he is/does/used to do well. Things he has to live for, etc. Once he gets to a place where he realizes that there is life outside of his mind, he may realize that he can't do it on his own.
Warrants, handcuffs, forcing him to do shit isn't going to do anything but make him want to get high more. Just be the best friend you can be, and whatever faith you have, you put things in the hands of a higher power because beating yourself up isn't going to help.
Will be praying for you brother:toast:
I have been married for almost 15 years, have two beautiful children, and for some time, all I cared about was if I was going to have enough painkillers to get me through the day.
The point is this, unless he wants to get better, there is nothing in the world you can do. That stupid fuckin show "Intervention", is complete bullshit.
Let's get a TV camera, trick the addict, and tell them we are out of his life forever. :0074 Idiots
One day I just decided that I was done. Got into an outpatient program, and eventually found out what was going on. Luckily, I didn't hit rock bottom before I got help. That is not the case most of the time.
The point UGA is that there is no secret formula that you can do to insure that he will get better. My advice - Give him a list of all the things that he is/does/used to do well. Things he has to live for, etc. Once he gets to a place where he realizes that there is life outside of his mind, he may realize that he can't do it on his own.
Warrants, handcuffs, forcing him to do shit isn't going to do anything but make him want to get high more. Just be the best friend you can be, and whatever faith you have, you put things in the hands of a higher power because beating yourself up isn't going to help.
Will be praying for you brother:toast:
- Feb 23, 2005
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im not sure what state you are in, but in Cali they have the 5150, or LPS, which is an involuntary psych hold, usually for those severly depressed/suicidal
may want to look into getting one of those as a last resort
i should clarify, not anyone can place someone under a 5150, its usually a clinician that has to do it, or a police officer, depending on the rules for your county
may want to look into getting one of those as a last resort
i should clarify, not anyone can place someone under a 5150, its usually a clinician that has to do it, or a police officer, depending on the rules for your county
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I would imagine that the 5150 is what's holding him in the facility now. Sadly, it only holds the patient for 72 hours.
I went to a friend's home, found her doors unlocked and found her unconscious on her bed. She had superficial cuts to both wrists, and a note. When I couldn't rouse her, I called 911. While the ambulance was coming, she woke up and started puking green! Stupid bitch had been drinking all that was in the house, including creme de menthe.
Anyway, once she got sick, she was clear as a bell, not at all confused and really pissed off at me for calling 911. With the police, we were able to have her taken to the hospital where I was able to speak with the psychologist doing her evaluation. I was able to let them know that her business had failed, her house had been foreclosed, she'd begun drinking very heavily and her husband had run off with another woman who worked in their restaurant. With that information, they then obtained the temporary detainment order. I visited her in the hospital the next day and she informed me in no uncertain terms that I was no longer welcome in her life. We haven't spoken since. I have no idea where she is.
I guess I'd have lost my friend either way but I'm hopeful that she's doing well and I don't regret doing what I did.
I went to a friend's home, found her doors unlocked and found her unconscious on her bed. She had superficial cuts to both wrists, and a note. When I couldn't rouse her, I called 911. While the ambulance was coming, she woke up and started puking green! Stupid bitch had been drinking all that was in the house, including creme de menthe.
Anyway, once she got sick, she was clear as a bell, not at all confused and really pissed off at me for calling 911. With the police, we were able to have her taken to the hospital where I was able to speak with the psychologist doing her evaluation. I was able to let them know that her business had failed, her house had been foreclosed, she'd begun drinking very heavily and her husband had run off with another woman who worked in their restaurant. With that information, they then obtained the temporary detainment order. I visited her in the hospital the next day and she informed me in no uncertain terms that I was no longer welcome in her life. We haven't spoken since. I have no idea where she is.
I guess I'd have lost my friend either way but I'm hopeful that she's doing well and I don't regret doing what I did.
He got out yesterday and called his mother to come get him. Said he would go to long term rehab up in S.C. He called me today and I told him I was on the way to his parents house. He told me if he had known I was down there he would have seen me, but the orderly didnt tell him I was there only that I called(thats bullshit!). He told me that he was going to long term rehab and wanted me to take him. Bare in mind he did this while pulling an 8-ball from his pocket. I guess it beats him saying hell no I am not going, but I wont believe he is going until I check his ass in, period. He claims he was not having hallucinations and basically everyone was making it up. Sad Shit!
I dont know you at all but I can definitely sympathize with what you, your friend, and his family are going through. Addiction doesnt just hurt one person, it hurts everyone around them that cares about them as well. I actually worked for one of the best long term treatment facilities in the country for a while and know the owner well. They are located in Prescott, Arizona which is probably the best city for recovery in the country. There are more meetings (AA, NA, GA, Al-anon, etc) per capita in Prescott than anywhere else in the country. There are also numerous treatment facilities and sober living homes that vary in degrees of seriousness. The Facility I worked for and the owner were actually on the show "Intervention" and specialize in opiates and speed. Its a step by step process that can last anywhere from 3 months to 9 months. Alot of people stay in prescott after treatment because of the large community of people that are in recovery living there and the enormous amount of support they offer. Sounds like he needs a few months of intensive treatment and then a few months in a sober living home. I started out as a manager of one of the sober living homes and they really help people stay sober. You get a job and go to a meeting everyday, basically like a normal life except you live with other addicts and you have to agree to abide by certain rules. Surprisingly most insurance will help pay for most of the treatment side. I saw some folks come thru there that I thought would never make it, im talking about the worst addicts/junkies you could imagine and they made it and are still clean today. If you would like I can give you all the information and even call the owner to see if they have a space available and ask her to hold it. Anything I can do to help, just let me know.
Most importantly, dont let anyone talk you, him, or any of his family into a 28 day facility. Those places are a waste of money & very misleading. 28 days is not enough time, thats like a vacation. I can stand on my head for 28 days if I had to. 90% of addicts need at least 3 months to get completely clean and clear their brain so that they can start to think clearly and make responsible decisions. You have to not only clean out your body but you have to work through some serious issues internally and develop a routine of living a sober and productive life. That takes time. If I can help, get my email from Jack and I will do everything I can to help your friend, answer any questions, or just explain the entire process that he would go through in Prescott, AZ. I will be praying for him and I wish you and your friend all the best. If you dont have any luck, I can also arrange an intervention just like you see on
A&E, only it will be run by the owner of the treatment center that I know. She has been clean for 30 years and is really great at what she does.
Most importantly, dont let anyone talk you, him, or any of his family into a 28 day facility. Those places are a waste of money & very misleading. 28 days is not enough time, thats like a vacation. I can stand on my head for 28 days if I had to. 90% of addicts need at least 3 months to get completely clean and clear their brain so that they can start to think clearly and make responsible decisions. You have to not only clean out your body but you have to work through some serious issues internally and develop a routine of living a sober and productive life. That takes time. If I can help, get my email from Jack and I will do everything I can to help your friend, answer any questions, or just explain the entire process that he would go through in Prescott, AZ. I will be praying for him and I wish you and your friend all the best. If you dont have any luck, I can also arrange an intervention just like you see on
A&E, only it will be run by the owner of the treatment center that I know. She has been clean for 30 years and is really great at what she does.
Thank you very much for the information and taking the time to explain some of the things I have been wondering about. He told me the other day that I could never understand the things that were going on with him, but that one day he would talk to me about it. i took that to mean his mental state and thw things that he must be dealing with emotionally and not just from a physical addiction standpoint. The facility he going to is located in S.C. and is free. Quite honestly from a distance and price standpoint I dont think he would ever make it to Ari. This is much like you described a working rehab facility where they have to work for their keep. I am not sure of the time frame, but I do not think they put a limit on it, rather when you are "ready" to leave, you do. I know there is no magic number but ballparking what would you say the %'s are for a long term meth abuser in this type of rehab facility to regain a productive drug free life? I have had several other friends over the years go the long term route for pain killers and they are now clean and productive, but this shit is a whole other animal. Again thanks for the information and I will likely be asking more questions in the future.
Its hard to say really, I have never met him and know very little about him. Tell me though, was he bangin the meth (needle) or smoking it? Was he cooking it at all or just using/buying it? Finally, how long has he been addicted to meth?
Also Meth and Opiates cant even be compared. A lot of opiate addicts would quit if they could but the physical withdrawals are so God awful, they cant. I know people that were addicted to opiates for 4 years but they were only actually gettin high for the first year. The last 3 he was just takin enough to keep from getting dope sick. Talk about a viscious cycle to be stuck in. :shrug: :nono:
I obviously had to seperate myself from him over time because I couldnt be around that environment, but I think he was just smoking(but I wouldnt put anything past him), and using/buying. He has been using for give or take 10 years.
Thats good that hes not bangin it or cooking it. Meth addict told me once, "I can never forget how to make meth." 10 years is a long time. I would say he needs and should commit to at least 3 months of treatment before he leaves. Its not gonna be easy, its gonna be hard as shit. Gonna have to confront and talk about some things he prob never has. Meth is literally a disgusting drug that is not meant to go in your body, thats why you look the way you do after using it for a long time. Best thing you can do is support him in anyway he can, constantly encourage him. He knows you wont ever understand what hes going through but the support and encouragement always helps. Addicts cant talk them self into anything when they are isolated and alone in their head. Unfortunately, many people relapse before they actually make it, so be prepared. My Dad told me one time in college when he thought me and my roomates were maybe getting into a little more than beer and occassional weed, he said, " How many 50yr old junkies do you know?" I thought and said none. He said, "Thats right cause they dont live that long." Never have forgotten that. I think your friend is on the right track and can make it if he really wants to and is willing to put in the work. Did I answer your question or help you out at all?
Taking him to a long term facility in S.C. wednesday AM. Any thoughts on things that could possibly make his stay easier that I can supply? Hoping for the best :mj09:
- Mar 19, 2006
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absolutely super to read your friend has chosen life over a slow death..
I would think the orientation consultant will have a list of the paticular items that are allowed to be supplied.Including those items that have proved the most helpful in the recovery process..
Give your friend a :0056 from me.
One of the scarest days of my life was the day I reported to rehab..
I wouldn't be alive today if I hadn't done so.
I would think the orientation consultant will have a list of the paticular items that are allowed to be supplied.Including those items that have proved the most helpful in the recovery process..
Give your friend a :0056 from me.
One of the scarest days of my life was the day I reported to rehab..
I wouldn't be alive today if I hadn't done so.
Each facility has different rules on what they allow and dont allow but some simple things that you could take him are a few good books, magazines, newspapers, etc. so that he will have something to read and take his mind off of things when he is relaxing. Throw in a good motivational book (religious or non religious depending on his preference). I would also make sure he has some decent shorts and running shoes so he can walk/run and get some exercise, that always helps. Other than that, the best the you can offer is support. Try and call him or write him as often as possible so you can keep him motivated and keep his mind in a positive place. You obviously care about this friend like he's a brother, and the ultimate goal is for him to finish the long term program and stay clean. Anything he asks for that is within reason and allowed I would help out if it makes him feel more comfortable and helps him finish the program. Whats a couple hundred bucks now, if it helps your friend on the road to long term sobriety. Good Luck to you and your friend :0074 What you are doing for your friend is very commendable, he is lucky to have a friend like you.
