bad hook....

[LDB]

John's not a great golfer - in fact, he stinks. But he's always working on his game, trying to improve. One afternoon, after a typically crappy round of golf, John is interrupted by a police officer as he's throwing his clubs in the car. "Did you tee off on the 17th hole about 20 minutes ago?"

"Why, yes I did officer." John replied.

"Did you by any chance hook your ball over the trees to the left, out of bounds?" asked the officer.

"Yep, I believe I did." John answered. "How'd you know?"

"Well," said the officer in a very serious tone, "Your golf ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a car's windshield. The driver lost control, causing a 5 car pile-up and a small explosion. Three people went to the hospital with injuries. I'd like to know what you're going to do about it?"

John sat there, seemingly saddened by the devastation caused by his errant tee shot. After much though, the he responded...

"I think I'll aim more to the right, close up my stance, tighten my grip and roll my right thumb over a bit."

 

[LDB]

18 Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex


You don't have to sneak your golf magazines into the house.

If you are having trouble with golf, it is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to show you how to improve your technique

The Ten Commandments do not say anything about golf.

If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you golfing, you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet, then you become famous

Your golf partner won't keep asking questions about other partners you've golfed with

It's perfectly respectable to golf with a total stranger

When you see a really good golfer, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you golfing together.

If your regular golf partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you golf with someone else.

Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you golf by yourself.

When dealing with a golf pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.

You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy golf stuff.

You can have a golf calendar on your wall at the office, tell golf jokes and invite co-workers to golf with you without getting sued for harassment

There is no such thing as a golf transmitted disease

If you want to watch golf on television, you don't have to subscribe to a premium cable channel.

Nobody expects you to promise to golf with just one partner for the rest of your life.

Nobody expects you to give up golfing if your partner loses interest in the game.

You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily for the enjoyment of golf.

Your golf partner will never say, "What? We just golfed last week! Is that all you ever think about?"

 

[LDB]

Deadly Eight Iron
Off the seventh tee, Brian sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball.

After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton!

Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!"

"What's the matter?" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine.

"Bring me my wedge," Brian shouted. "You can't get out of here with an eight iron!"

 

[Woodson]

Good stuff LDB! Hope all is well bud!

:toast:

 

[RollTide72]

Two guys are out golfing one day. One slices off to the right, one hooks off to the left and they both go to retrieve their balls.

The guy on the right is hacking and hacking at the ball but just can't lift it out of the buttercups. It has become lodged in. All of a sudden, up from the ground comes Mother Nature and is she pissed!

"What the hell are you doing to my beautiful buttercups?" she asks.

"I'm just trying to get my golf ball out of them, lady", replies the golfer.

"Well, you've really pissed me off. Just look what you've done to my buttercups. For this I must punish you. Your punishment will be an entire year without butter!!"

The golfer starts laughing hysterically which, by now, has just about worn out Mother Nature's patience.

"What in the hell do you think is so funny about no butter for a year?" she screams at him.

"I'm not laughing about that - I'm laughing about my friend over there whacking the hell out of your pussy willows!

 

[LDB]

Good stuff LDB! Hope all is well bud!

:toast:

long time no talk... hows everything woodson?

 

[Woodson]

long time no talk... hows everything woodson?

Not bad here. Looking forward to starting back to wagering in less than 50 days. Took the year off since bowl season more or less.

Hope to come out hot! :toast:

Be good brother!:0008

 

[LDB]

Not bad here. Looking forward to starting back to wagering in less than 50 days. Took the year off since bowl season more or less.

Hope to come out hot! :toast:

Be good brother!:0008

im on that good countdown as well.... :toast: