Commentary by Kirk Bohls
Austin American Statesman
Sunday, August 7, 2005
The answer is winning. The question is, who has what it takes?
Defending champion Bob Stoops takes on challengers Mack Brown and Dennis Franchione.
Welcome to today's college football Jeopardy!, where defending champion Bob Stoops takes on challengers Mack Brown and Dennis Franchione.
Uh, Bob, could you lose the smug smile?
The categories will be Quarterbackups, Anyone Seen Ced, Chizik's Chain Gang, West Coast-East Coast Offense, Recruiting 101 and Game of the Year. Remember, you must phrase your answer in the form of a question, even though I know you think you never have to ask anyone for the right answer, Bob.
As the Big 12 preseason favorite, Mack, you're up first. Bob, I'm not going to warn you again. Under house rules, Mack, you can't take the Recruiting category every single time. Give the other guys a chance.
"Fine. I'll take Quarterbackups for $200," Brown says, "if I have to."
Answer: Matt Nordgren.
Brown hems and haws, dabs a moist eye with a handkerchief and finally says, "Who (sob, sob) should be the first quarterback off the bench (sniff, sniff) if Vince Young (crying hysterically now) goes down?"
Somebody, please get Mack a towel. It's just a game show. But you're right. Colt McCoy may be the heir apparent next season since Nordgren's eligibility will be exhausted and Vince could scramble early into the NFL. But this year is too important to entrust that position to a freshman three months removed from the senior prom. Nordgren should get the bulk of the second-string repetitions and fourth-quarter snaps. Brown should worry about 2006 in 2006.
"Give me West Coast-East Coast Offense for 25 cents," Stoops says.
Answer: Ramonce Taylor.
Stoops guesses, "Who will catch the most hitch passes in the Big 12?"
Correct, Bob. Of course, Taylor may be able to turn those sideway passes into vertical gains, even in October. He could, in fact, be the biggest key to the season if he can slow down the outside pass rush on end-arounds and give Young an outlet pass option.
Coach Fran's up.
"I'll select Kickoff Coverage for $1 million, the amount of my generous donation for our new indoor facility to keep up with the Browns, I mean, the Joneses," Fran says.
Answer: Nobody.
"I'm guessing that would be, 'Who was Texas' best tackler on its kick coverage team in the Rose Bowl?' "
Actually, if memory serves, Greg Robinson made a couple of stops against the Wolverines on the Longhorns sidelines near midfield. Not really my place, Mack, but you might try squibs next time.
"Thanks, Fran," Brown says. "By the way, enjoyed watching your Cotton Bowl performance while I was getting a massage in Beverly Hills. Nice job. Were y'all in a bowl game, Bob? Oh, sorry.
"Just kidding around. I'll take Chizik's Chain Gang for $800."
Answer: OU's Roy Williams.
"That's easy," Brown says. "Whom does Chris Simms see in his sleep?"
Technically, that would be correct. But we were looking for the name of a bounty hunter of a Longhorns defensive back, an enforcer who will play like the former Sooners safety. That's the one ingredient that this Texas defense needs if it plans on being a shut-down, saliva-slobbering unit. We would have accepted Drew Kelson or Michael Griffin.
Stoops, smoke coming out his ears, takes Anyone Seen Ced for $2 million and sifts through his pocket to see if he has that much in loose change.
Answer: Sept. 10.
"Hmm," muses the Oklahoma coach. "I'm tempted to say, 'When does Texas' national championship bid end?' but I'll be nice. How about 'How long will Selvin Young's season last before he gets hurt?' "
That's cold. Possible, but cold.
But the correct answer is "When is Vince Young's Heisman coming-out party?" although it may be Ted Ginn's coming-out party, too. Besides, we're betting Selvin survives that Ohio State game and lasts at least half the season before Jamaal Charles takes over.
Brown puffs out his chest and chooses Recruiting 101 for a trillion.
Answer: "Mitch Mustain, Matthew Stafford, Ryan Perrilloux, Bobby Reid, Rhett Bomar, etc., etc."
Brown's face turns red and says, "Who are quarterbacks who don't understand the true essence of Greg Davis?"
"Or those who do," a chuckling Stoops chimes in.
Stoops loses 50 points for snickering. He then picks Game of the Year.
Answer: "Red October."
"Easy," he says. "What is the color of the Cotton Bowl crowd at the end of the game in October?"
No, sorry, Bob. You misread the answer, which is "Read, October." The correct question is, "When did Lee Corso last crack a book?" Just a little Jeopardy! humor, guys.
Franchione buzzes in and picks Recruiting 101 for $600.
Answer: Adrian Peterson.
"Who stiffed us at the last minute?" an irate Fran screams.
"Stiffed you?" a livid Brown pops off.
"Alex," Stoops calmly interrupts, "the answer should be 'Who will win the Heisman Trophy in 2005?' Man, this is almost as much fun as Saturdays. So when does Double Jeopardy start?"
That would be Sept. 17, Bob. You're at UCLA.
Austin American Statesman
Sunday, August 7, 2005
The answer is winning. The question is, who has what it takes?
Defending champion Bob Stoops takes on challengers Mack Brown and Dennis Franchione.
Welcome to today's college football Jeopardy!, where defending champion Bob Stoops takes on challengers Mack Brown and Dennis Franchione.
Uh, Bob, could you lose the smug smile?
The categories will be Quarterbackups, Anyone Seen Ced, Chizik's Chain Gang, West Coast-East Coast Offense, Recruiting 101 and Game of the Year. Remember, you must phrase your answer in the form of a question, even though I know you think you never have to ask anyone for the right answer, Bob.
As the Big 12 preseason favorite, Mack, you're up first. Bob, I'm not going to warn you again. Under house rules, Mack, you can't take the Recruiting category every single time. Give the other guys a chance.
"Fine. I'll take Quarterbackups for $200," Brown says, "if I have to."
Answer: Matt Nordgren.
Brown hems and haws, dabs a moist eye with a handkerchief and finally says, "Who (sob, sob) should be the first quarterback off the bench (sniff, sniff) if Vince Young (crying hysterically now) goes down?"
Somebody, please get Mack a towel. It's just a game show. But you're right. Colt McCoy may be the heir apparent next season since Nordgren's eligibility will be exhausted and Vince could scramble early into the NFL. But this year is too important to entrust that position to a freshman three months removed from the senior prom. Nordgren should get the bulk of the second-string repetitions and fourth-quarter snaps. Brown should worry about 2006 in 2006.
"Give me West Coast-East Coast Offense for 25 cents," Stoops says.
Answer: Ramonce Taylor.
Stoops guesses, "Who will catch the most hitch passes in the Big 12?"
Correct, Bob. Of course, Taylor may be able to turn those sideway passes into vertical gains, even in October. He could, in fact, be the biggest key to the season if he can slow down the outside pass rush on end-arounds and give Young an outlet pass option.
Coach Fran's up.
"I'll select Kickoff Coverage for $1 million, the amount of my generous donation for our new indoor facility to keep up with the Browns, I mean, the Joneses," Fran says.
Answer: Nobody.
"I'm guessing that would be, 'Who was Texas' best tackler on its kick coverage team in the Rose Bowl?' "
Actually, if memory serves, Greg Robinson made a couple of stops against the Wolverines on the Longhorns sidelines near midfield. Not really my place, Mack, but you might try squibs next time.
"Thanks, Fran," Brown says. "By the way, enjoyed watching your Cotton Bowl performance while I was getting a massage in Beverly Hills. Nice job. Were y'all in a bowl game, Bob? Oh, sorry.
"Just kidding around. I'll take Chizik's Chain Gang for $800."
Answer: OU's Roy Williams.
"That's easy," Brown says. "Whom does Chris Simms see in his sleep?"
Technically, that would be correct. But we were looking for the name of a bounty hunter of a Longhorns defensive back, an enforcer who will play like the former Sooners safety. That's the one ingredient that this Texas defense needs if it plans on being a shut-down, saliva-slobbering unit. We would have accepted Drew Kelson or Michael Griffin.
Stoops, smoke coming out his ears, takes Anyone Seen Ced for $2 million and sifts through his pocket to see if he has that much in loose change.
Answer: Sept. 10.
"Hmm," muses the Oklahoma coach. "I'm tempted to say, 'When does Texas' national championship bid end?' but I'll be nice. How about 'How long will Selvin Young's season last before he gets hurt?' "
That's cold. Possible, but cold.
But the correct answer is "When is Vince Young's Heisman coming-out party?" although it may be Ted Ginn's coming-out party, too. Besides, we're betting Selvin survives that Ohio State game and lasts at least half the season before Jamaal Charles takes over.
Brown puffs out his chest and chooses Recruiting 101 for a trillion.
Answer: "Mitch Mustain, Matthew Stafford, Ryan Perrilloux, Bobby Reid, Rhett Bomar, etc., etc."
Brown's face turns red and says, "Who are quarterbacks who don't understand the true essence of Greg Davis?"
"Or those who do," a chuckling Stoops chimes in.
Stoops loses 50 points for snickering. He then picks Game of the Year.
Answer: "Red October."
"Easy," he says. "What is the color of the Cotton Bowl crowd at the end of the game in October?"
No, sorry, Bob. You misread the answer, which is "Read, October." The correct question is, "When did Lee Corso last crack a book?" Just a little Jeopardy! humor, guys.
Franchione buzzes in and picks Recruiting 101 for $600.
Answer: Adrian Peterson.
"Who stiffed us at the last minute?" an irate Fran screams.
"Stiffed you?" a livid Brown pops off.
"Alex," Stoops calmly interrupts, "the answer should be 'Who will win the Heisman Trophy in 2005?' Man, this is almost as much fun as Saturdays. So when does Double Jeopardy start?"
That would be Sept. 17, Bob. You're at UCLA.
