Big lie

phin8181

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...I have to agree with most of the advice given here...

...Unfortunately, the hole will only get deeper..

..I would go ahead and end it....sounds as if she is quite selfish.....and then you have to worry about the whole "can I trust you" thing...

...Anyway, whatever you decide good luck to you.....
 

Stuman

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Scott-Atlanta said:
GM

beantownjim is a dipstick and I think you know that.

I had a female employee that was able to hide coke use for a long time while under my direct supervision. I worked with her every day.

She was doing it on the job. Its amazing the lengths someone will go to hide this drug use.

When I finally found out I was amazed that she could have hid this from me and I didnt notice any signs. I do remember one day seeing white powder on her nose after she came out of the womans room. I reached over and brushed it off thinking she
was using powder on her face.

Geezz Louise

After about two years she finally wasted out, missed alot of work and then went to rehab. I was involved in setting up the program and all that. At that level it is very difficult to quit on your own.

good luck. If you choose to stay in the relationship, it will be a very difficult road.

KOD


Scott this is the best post I have ever seen from you. I think I have a new level of respect for you! ;)

Stuman
 

fletcher

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GM let me tell you from a person who livied the life of coke and booze till about 7 years ago and just or am still lets say detoxing off 1.5 years of heavy pain med off 9 days and it sucks pain meds was due to all the operations and yes they messed me up the oxcy i took for most of the time 3 times a day and percocet 10 mg 6 times a day or 1 every 4 hours . It sucks and leads to know where. people are not in control of their emontions when they are on this stuff even the pain meds mess you up and become a crutch which i am happy to say being detoxed off because i ask and over that 1.5 years even though i did not abuse the pain meds did not have to I made some stupid choices i would not of made if I was not on them.

The coke and booze are even worse first it runs the person if they are on coke sonner or later never met a coke freak who did not do more and more and bozze goes with the coke. Then for most the snorting does not give the same high after awhile then you free base and once you go that route there is no return but to get help, it is very tough to stop on your own with coke and use will increase and person is on the road to self destruct. I knew deep down I would have trouble with the pain pills but after 1.5 years and a few f--k ups i said not going to go through this shit again I am to old for this, it will take about 3-4 weeks on non-narc with drarl meds but when you cross a certian line the snake bites you and there is no return but to seek out help and to quit. you cannot tell a person they have a problem it does not work they need to do it for themself trust me i was told for 15+ years by friends and family but i cared about me and my drug till the wheels feel off and was up to me to find help to get them put back on.

It might not be as bad as i say now but it will get there when you are dealing with coke and the person you are with will have to make a choice , the only choice you have is to stay or go the rest is that persons choice and you can say and try all kind of things if they do not see the problem they won't stop might say they will but they will sneak it been around 100's of people just like me and we all have the same story more or less just different names , sex, age and bottoms.

Good luck my friend this is nothing to play with and it will bite back at some point, never met a coke user who was able to stay in control of it. check out ala-non it will help you work some things out for you forget about the other it is up to them to seek their own help if not it will never work, you can only control and change yourself nothing more, many have tried and most have failed trying to change another person who does not seek change for themself.

Good Luck

Eric
 

TJBELL

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Fletch: Know some people hooked on Oxycoton. VERY powerful drug!!!

GM: Forgot to ask 1 question. Does she know YOU Gamble??

(Not that it would change anything, just wanted to know if YOU shared that with HER.)



:shrug:
 

Zoso

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skulldog said:
Zoso, another fawcking idiot
:moon: :shrug: :rolleyes: Jack what the hell is going on here?

A member who adds alot of value to the forum comes in and asks for some serious advice and beanshit slaps him around like that, is bullshit. It's not like BtJ started the thread and we could aviod him, he's a pain in the ass. I hate to admit but sometimes he's funny, but most of the time he's a scumbag.

Good Luck GM

Screw you SkullD--- , He asked for advice, and that's my honest advice. He has a mind of his own and doesn't need you filtering his advice pool.

I'll bet anything she only does it occasionally when she drinks, just like alot of women. If she did it every freaking day, she wouldn't eat and it would be very obvious.( Has she lost alot of weight?)

If she just does it like every other time she drinks, there's no problem. Hell, maybe join the fun.
 

GM

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TJ - Yes, she knows I bet on football...very aware of it. She doesn't like how much time I spend on it, but other than that she doesn't seem to have a problem with it. Then again I've made money on the NFL every season but one in the seven years I've been doing it, so I don't know why she would have a problem with it.

Thanks Fletcher, Scott, and everyone else who's offered their opinions. As for the "join the fun" comments...whatever. I don't care. Like I said, I knew I'd get some of this when I posted this here. If you don't like it though I don't know why you continue to read it and reply to it. It really doesn't bother me that some people have this attitude. Nobody needs to screen it out for me. Was just lookin' for people's opinions and I got lots. Thanks.
 
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TJBELL

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GM: I was just curious is all. Is she YOUR Soulmate?????

(Other than the fact she hid her coke problems?) Maybe she cares for you so much she may have been embarrased to tell you.

That's how I was. with each passing day, I found it harder and harder to tell her. Did I Love her? Hell yes! Could I tell her I had a cocaine problem? Hell NO!!

Hence the name (Big Lie) it was just easier for me to hide it.

Think you need to have a serious heart to heart talk. See where she wants to be in life. Drugs?? You??? Will se Quit????, etc

Now that it's in the open, maybe things will be easier between you two!

Good luck Man!!
 

beantownjim

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HEY GM I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS A LOT AND I HAVE A NEW THEORY MAYBE YOU ARE A BORN LOSER AND YOUR GIRL NEEDS THE DRUG JUST TO LOOK AT YOU:eek: YOU COULD BE THE CAUSE OF HER DRUG PROBLEM YOUR PROBABLY A GUY WITH NO DOUGH NO FUTURE ADDICTED TO GAMBLING AND JERKING OFF. SHE IS PROBABLY FED UP WITH YOUR LIFESTYLE SO SHE TURNED TO DOPE I REALLY BELIEVE A NORMAL GUY WITH A GOOD EDUCATION AND JOB COULD CHANGE THIS GIRL AROUND NOT SOME LOSER LIKE YOU.SO I SUGGEST YOU LET HER COME VISIT ME FOR A WEEK TO SOBER UP I WILL MAKE A NEW WOMEN OUT OF HER:hitit:

I AM THINKING OF GOING ONTO THE MENTAL HEALTH FIELD AND OPENING UP AN OFFICE AT MADJACKS FORUM:shrug:
 

lowell

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was curious.what is your background.are you really a boston pay service.
 

Captain Crunch

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Trust is like your soul, once it leaves, it never comes back.

Saw this quote somewhere and have never forgotten it. Hope everything works out for you. Tough call. After what I have went through in the last year, I would run like hell!!!!!!!!!
 

Kodous

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Read the following young man. Really read it. Then go call her, or if the case may be sit her down for a long heart to heart. If it applies to your situation, ask yourself is she is your friend in addition to your lover. Would it be worth your time to invest in this relationship. You have to think first, really think and then talk to her, really talk to her. You will find your answers.






In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.
In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.

In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.

In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.

In fourth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck do-si-do-ing with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.

In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.

In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to Nick or Susan, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed.

In seventh grade your idea of a friend was the person who let you copy the social studies homework from the night before that you had.

In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke out into tears.

In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who would go to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.

In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.

In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, consoled you when you broke up with Nick or Susan, and found you a date to the prom.

In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college/university, assured you that you would get into that college/university, helped you deal with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go...

At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you.

The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn't deal with your parents, assured you that now that you and Nick or you and Susan were back together, you could make it through anything, helped you pack up for university and just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you were leaving behind, and finally on those last days of childhood, went out of their way to give you reassurance that you would make it in college as well as you had these past 18 years, and most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved.

Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly loves you!

Pass on to those friends of the past, and those of the future...and those you have met along the way...[crying yet? oh there's more]

Thank you for being a friend. No matter where we go or who we become, never forget who helped us get there.

There's never a wrong time to pick up a phone or send a message telling your friends how much you miss them or how much you love them.

You know who you are, pass it on to someone who you want to remind.

So send this to all your friends and maybe those who aren't but just watch and see who sends it back.

If you love someone, tell them.
Remember always to say what you mean.

Never be afraid to express yourself. Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets.

Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all about anyway. Pass this along to your friends. Let it make a difference in your day and theirs.

The difference between expressing love and having regrets is that the regrets may stay around forever.
 

Kodous

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Trust comes back, if it was originally there and you both want it to it WILL come back. It won't be easy but it may very well be worth it.
 

saint

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One of my best friends I lived with did coke under my nose in our apartment for 2 years and I never even came close to finding out. I found out through another friend. I felt really dumb for not realizing, but then again that is easy to hide if someone wants to.
 

IntenseOperator

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I don't know if this applies elsewhere...

but here in Chicago

If you get stopped for whatever reason by the police, there are a variety of reasons to impound your vehicle. The costs/fines/storage invloved in impounding are astronomical.

I used to hang with a girl a while back and didn't know she liked nose candy. We used to go kicking at various local establishments when we went out. I later found she had "other" appetites and ended the relationship.

If I would have rolled a stop sign, had a tail light out etc., and got pulled over; if they somehow wanted to go through my vehicle or if she were to drop something on the floor or hide it in the door of my vehicle and they came across it....

Goodbye car :mad:

hello jail:moon:
 

Kodous

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Son, read carefully. Long ago when I was younger and I am assuming you are young, I was in love with the person I thought I would be with the rest of my life. A 5 yr relationship and she was so special. She wasn't the best looking woman I had ever been with BUT she had something I hd never and have never found in another woman since. I loved her. She had a drug problem I was unaware of until circumstances much like yours happened to me. I was mad, I was resentful. And I aimed it all at her and her drugging friends. In reality I was mad and resentful because my ego was damaged. Here I felt like she had made a fool out of me, and I was NOT understanding it. I was proud and arrogant and I ended the relationship. My life has NEVER been the same since. I have never met another woman who made me feel like she did. I have NEVER met another woman who believed in me like she did. She was special she had something none of the others had. I have NEVER forgotten her. If I had a buck for every night I lay awake with thoughts of her and of us and those thoughts driving me crazy. If I had it to do over again I would have changed the way things worked out. I was pissed and blamed all her drugging friends and her. I should have put more effort into our relationship, I should have believed she could kick her habit with my help. We will never know what might have been because of my pride. Give it some thought son and give her a call if that's what you want and don't wait too long. I should have helped her and I should have done what it took and waited as long as it took. Since obtaining this computor I have often thought of trying to look her up trying to search for her I KNOW she felt the same way about me.
 

GM

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Kodous -

Thanks for your concern. Sorry I didn't reply earlier. I just wasn't really sure what to say to the first post. I'm not really into the warm & fuzzy "This is what a friend is" chain-letter thing. No, I wasn't crying uncontrollably reading it. I don't know, that stuff just doesn't strike a nerve with me. It actually kinda makes me want to wretch. Sorry, I don't mean to be rude...I am just not moved by that sort of mushy thing, can't relate to it. But I understand the concern was there.

I'm not sure why you have the impression that I must be young. I'm not really OLD either...but I am 37. I've been around a while. :)

Anyways, your second post hit home a little more. I still don't know what I am going to do about her. I don't think I would be saying I'm being egotistical to question everything about her that I know to this point. I don't really feel like I know anything about her now. Her and her friends have me so pissed that I really don't look forward to seeing any of them again. Especially her friends who supplied her with this stuff. I would be hard pressed to keep my temper in check and not beat the shit out of them for not only helping her along with this, but hiding it from me. I treated her way too well to get hit with a surprise like this and be shown virtually no remorse.

I've done a lot of reading on coke in the last few days, and I'm more convinced than ever that she really does want to keep doing the stuff. If that's the case then it's out of my hands. So I can try to help her out...but if she's not going to do anything about it herself or even talk to me about it, then I will pull myself out of the situation. I've been lied to enough....she has to sort it out.

Right now I'm just pissed at her for not doing anything thus far and pretending nothing is any different than before.
 
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