*** BREAKING NEWS ***
WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Obama has announced the launch of "Operation Loose Stool" in response to the abnormal frequency and fluidity of fecal evacuations coming from the orafices of Americans who've contracted a particularly insidious strain of virus health officials have identified as "H1-N1", or "Hyper-Neoconservatism". President Obama called the morbidly frequent and profuse discharge coming from the mouths of right-wing radio talk show personalities "Weapons of Mass Diarrhea". Neoconservatives are urged to contact their local Health Department to obtain colostomy bags which are to be worn over the mouth or other orafices where abnormal anal leakage is occuring.
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WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Obama has announced the launch of "Operation Loose Stool" in response to the abnormal frequency and fluidity of fecal evacuations coming from the orafices of Americans who've contracted a particularly insidious strain of virus health officials have identified as "H1-N1", or "Hyper-Neoconservatism". President Obama called the morbidly frequent and profuse discharge coming from the mouths of right-wing radio talk show personalities "Weapons of Mass Diarrhea". Neoconservatives are urged to contact their local Health Department to obtain colostomy bags which are to be worn over the mouth or other orafices where abnormal anal leakage is occuring.
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