Colonoscopy!?!

[Captain Crunch]

I have had it done twice and was not put under either time. My dad had it done last year and they put him out. The first time I had it done, put my clothes back on, walked across the street to the hospital and had a barium (sp?) enema done. That is the one where you should run like hell from. In case you don't know what that is, they jam a dildo up your azz with a hose hooked to it and proceed to "try" and fill your intestines up with this shit that has the consistency of peanut butter, and take X-rays of your colon. For the ones with weak stomachs, you can quit reading now.





The first time they filled me up, the plumbing said no thank you and back out she came. A real humbling experience walking across the room to the john with this white goo rolliing down your leg and leaving a trail on the floor as I went. Got all cleaned up and back on the table I went for round 2. Luckily, this time was a little bettter as they got the 10 X-rays done in about 1.5 minutes and it was on its way back out in about 1.52 minutes.

The beauty of it was that after going through all that, the doctor told me they couldn't find anything wrong and that I should quit eating cabbage and beans. I eat very few beans and cole slaw maybe once a month. No shcit, that was the best they could up with.

And now for some ammunition for Dr. Freeze, I took care of all of my digestive problems at the health food store. :kiss:

I'm sure that is probably more info than you needed, but a colonoscopy is not that big of a deal. A baruim enema............

 

[dr. freeze]

do it

certain polyps lead to colon cancer, which are increasing in us Americans due to our bad diet

if you grab the polyp, you can deter cancer....studies have shown certain kinds of polyps WILL lead to cancer in as much as 25+% of the time over a period of 20 years

cancer will lead to your colon taken out and give you years of diarhea, many more invasive exams, ( in a best case scenario) and in a worst case scenerio -- months to years of suffering and a miserable death

these are one of the best things to come from modern day medicine especially with our current fat laden diet

 

[eric stratton]

I had 1 done at 40 because my family has a history of colon problems. Its not as scary as it sounds. Drinking that shit for the prep is the toughest part.

 

[escarzamd]

My experiences from the painless side...

#1) Posts about the prep are right on. GO-LYTELY is basically like drinking a water softener. It binds minerals that help the bowel retain water usually absorbed and typically is described as the most uncomfortable part of the experience. Cramps are almost universal. They like you to pound 3L of the junk, too!! Not fun, but there's a solid chance that a repeat procedure is necessary if the prep is not done. Any stool lining the colon is obviously diificult to see thru and the soup you poop from the prep won't stick to the bowel lining. I debate needing 3L of the junk, but that the ACG recommendation. As an aside, one of my partners wanted to start a diet by "cleaning out his system" and voluntarilly drank 3L of that crap. He knew what he got himself into, and the look of horror halfway thru his trip said it all. Had to call a HazMat Team for his master bathroom and I swear his wife blamed me for letting him do it......evidence to me that the stuff is bad enough to cause extensive collateral damage. Good Luck w/that.

#2) With that said, the procedure is quite benign. You can safely reach a level of sedation where the layperson would not think you were conscious and not require intubation like 65 posted. Patients are intubated if sedation is deep enough for "airway protection," but is not necessary b/c the medicines are short-acting, can be reversed if necessary, and you are in the fetal position for the procedure, meaning that if your airway relaxes, your tongue doesn't slide back to occlude you airway. Valium is dicey b/c it is long-acting, but Versed works fast, has a shorter half-life, and is a wonderful amnestic, meaning you won't remember the experience even though your sedation level never reaches the point where you need to be intubated. You will respond appropriately to discomfort, but if you're not in the forest when the tree falls....

#3) For everyone......the current recommendation when you hit 50 is annual rectals to check for occult blood and a flexible sigmoidoscopy every 5 or 10 years depending on who you ask. In combo, the sensitivity for cancer prevention is good. Now, thats a "flex sig" I'm talking about, which is not checking all 5 ft of colon, but just the first 1-1.5 ft. This test can be done by internists/FP's and is not near as sensitive as the Full Monty.

Good Luck......Hope this helps. You will do just fine and I can answer any questions if I missed info that you were looking for..........Doc

 

[REBEL YELL]

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you now and how is your health?

That was 3? years ago. Only lost half of my colon and still think that they got all of the cancer. I carry on a normal life. I just have to be careful of my diet, because diarrhea can sometimes be a problem.

 

[taoist]

i voted Beantown Jim.
I have never had a hose shoved up my balloon knot. That said i did enjoy watching Katie Couric get hers done a few years back. I was also part of the syndicate who came in second in the bidding on ebay for the tubing that did Katie dirty. We did later win the auction for a certain Florida womans feeding tube so all was not lost. Penquin obviously your best bet is to ask Marine, who knows all about anal invasions whether it be for pleasure or necessity.
Here are some suggestions to make your doctor think twice before he or she tries to give you the hold candid camera up the cornhole.
#1 They want you to fast 12 hours and take some harsh laxatives to make sure your bowels have been evacuated.
I say hogwash. Eat Mexican for two days straight and no potty for you!!
#2 Take those laxatives while in the waiting room of the creep who wants to take your manhood.

# 3 As soon as the hose makes contact with your bung, relax and let her rip.
# 4 run out of the office with your pants around your ankles screaming you have been raped.

Good luck

Clem, you bastid!!! :scared I litterally laughed so hard, I had to clean the beer off the computer screen.... :cursin: :lol: :142smilie


:drinky:

 

[The Judge]

I was also part of the syndicate who came in second in the bidding on ebay for the tubing that did Katie dirty.

Clem, you are one funny bastard! :mj07:

 

[fatdaddycool]

As I stated in the earlier post that Jack brought up I have had the procedure before but now I have had it twice and the second time wasn't as bad, I still had a blazin raisin afterwards but I didn't have that beast of a nurse this time either. I didn't even get through a third of the laxative stuff though I had had enough of the crapping so I just quit and told the Doc I got through it. Of course when he removed the Chevy he had crammed up my ass I crapped all over the floor which is what I figured they had the high school chick there for. I wasn't particularly impressed with the viewing couch either, but what the hell. And they did knock me out and if the Doc gave me a good rogering while I was knocked out I wouldn't have been the wiser, of course that would explain all the Jimmy Smits dreams I have been having lately.

 

[Clem D]

As I stated in the earlier post that Jack brought up I have had the procedure before but now I have had it twice and the second time wasn't as bad, I still had a blazin raisin afterwards but I didn't have that beast of a nurse this time either. I didn't even get through a third of the laxative stuff though I had had enough of the crapping so I just quit and told the Doc I got through it. Of course when he removed the Chevy he had crammed up my ass I crapped all over the floor which is what I figured they had the high school chick there for. I wasn't particularly impressed with the viewing couch either, but what the hell. And they did knock me out and if the Doc gave me a good rogering while I was knocked out I wouldn't have been the wiser, of course that would explain all the Jimmy Smits dreams I have been having lately.

Lmao!!!!

 

[vanbasten]

clem, fatdaddy,

didn't mention it earlier, was reading right through the funny stuff, to get penguin an answer, but very funny sh*t!

penguin,

just saying it again, so it doesn't get lost in all the good stuff here.

make sure you have an arsenal of babywipes, wetwipes, etc. next to the john!

during the assault on your ass that is inevitable, regular TP feels like 100 grit sandpaper!

 

[marine]

hey pengy? can i take you out for a drink after they stick the seeing eye dog up your butt?

 

[mcgruder]

I agree with the K-line in everything he says. It's a piece of cake. I've had it done and there is nothing to it. Drinking the prep shit is the worst part of it. GET----RRRRR-----DONE. It's your health involved.

 

[hm23]

hilarious thread.

I am not lookin forward to the day they take my anal virginity. :scared

 

[VaNurse]

As I posted before and as others have expressed here, it's really nothing.... especially when compared to not having it done and being treated for colon cancer.

The prep's described are pretty accurate for GoLytely and NuLytely but there are other methods. You need to be upfront with your doc about it. If you're not well-cleansed, he may just cancel you for that day and make you go through it all over again. This isn't done to be a prick about it but for your safety and to insure the accuracy of the results.

If you're squirrely about drinking 4 liters of what is, basically, salt water, or if you need to restrict salt , you can ask your doctor if he would allow you to use the Fleet's Phospho-Soda prep. You are on clear liquids for a day and a half prior to the procedure. During the afternoon before the colonoscopy is scheduled, you drink a 1-1/2 oz. bottle of the prep liquid plus 8 oz. water. Later that night, you drink another 1-1/2 oz. dose with 8 oz. water.

I've had them both and the PhosphoSoda was a lot easier on me. I was a bit apprehensive when the doctor directed the 2nd dose be taken at 10:00 p.m. because I just knew that I'd end up being up all night in the john but I was finished, able to go to sleep by midnight and slept through the night without incident.

Again, fellas, I can't stress enough how important this is! Quit worrying about whether or not it's "gay" like BTJ or if the endo staff is going to check out your Johnson! It's the responsible thing to do for yourselves and your families!

 

[mcgruder]

Agree, VaNurse. Just buried a brother of a friend this morning who died from colon cancer @ 65. He wouldn't even go to the doctor until he turned 65 because of medicare even though he had symptoms of colon cancer at an earlier date. He only lasted 10 months. GETTT---rrrrr-Done!

 

[shadow 44]

Due to family history,both parents died from colon cancer,I have to be very careful
Have had the procedure several times
The prep is worse,but tolerable
You'll be apprehensive,but afterwards wonder why
Good Luck

 

[dogface]

I have never had a hose shoved up my balloon knot.

I appreciate the new stain on my shirt, and the wet forms I have in front of me!!!

TSI


PS: Anyone else realize that Coca Cola burns in the nostrils!

 

[Penguinfan]

Wow, thanks for all the input and honesty.

VanBasten, I'm gonna take your advice sight unseen because it sounds as if you know what you are talking about.

Marine- No

I have an appointment to "discuss the issue" soon so we'll see where it goes.

I'll probably get it done, but I am still not happy about it.

 

[Jake DeNiro]

penguinfan never mind you'll probably get it done, JUST DO IT. There's nothing to it except for the stuff you need to take before, but so what. I had it done twice and both times I was wide awake watching the screen, and the second time I was talking to the person (woman) about the procedure. Everything turned out fine and I'm on my own to re-book another screening. My wife's situation was completely different. Without a long story, she has been sick for a long time with many different things. They had done a scan of her stomach and it showed nothing, everything fine. I suggested about the Colonoscopy and was told it wasn't really nessecary as she had it done 4 years ago and everything was fine. I pushed the issue and the doctor said they would go ahead and book it if it made us feel better. My wife was put off with the idea and a liitle pissed that I said anything. They did the procedure and found 8 polyps with 1 being large and pre-cancerous. The doctor admitted to us that had we not done the test we would have had problems. The specialist didn't expect to find any and told us that when she does the test she usually finds 1 maybe 2, but in my wife's case 8. My wife was told that she has to inform all her sibbling's that they have to been tested. That was a year ago, and just last week she got the results of her latest done 3 weeks ago. 3 polyps, 1 large and again pre-cancerous. As you said "I'll probably get it done, but I am still not happy about it." There's a lot of things in life that we're not happy about and we do them, make this one of those things. If you don't have it done and they do find something later on how do you think the treatment is going to be....might be worst.....JUST DO IT :thumb: Good Luck

 

[DIRTY Diapers]

I sell medical equipment and see colonoscopies and EGDs all of the time. It is not a painful procedure and you're barely awake to feel anything. It is an IMPORTANT procedure because they can snare the polyp and detect for cancer. I'm far away from fifty, but I will have one done in the next few years. Colon Cancer is one of the more lethal cancers and if detected early you survival rate will sky rocket. I recomend everyone get one.