fat hunter has a problem...

SixFive

bonswa
Forum Member
Mar 12, 2001
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BG, KY, USA
:mj07:
Got to the stand yesterday wearing my new single layer Scent Blocker coveralls. I weigh around 340lbs and the zipper on these coveralls are only about 14in long so getting in them is quite a chore. To insure I didn't need to urinate I go before going to the stand. I have one Mt.Dew to drink in the 3hrs I would be in the stand, and only drank half of that. At my age which is 53 sometimes when you gotta go, you gotta go like boy howdy right now. This starts a down hill spiral of things that can make you cry. I get the call of nature and I wait it out as long I can. With about an hour left to hunt and not seeing a single deer I can't wait any longer and decide to let loose out of my stand, something I would never do in a normal situation. I have a two man ladder stand and have camo burlap around the railing. So I stand up and start trying to get out of my coveralls and I look like a man in a knife fight, arms are flailing, stumbling, cursing. I finally get these *&^%$%& coveralls off and pull back the burlap for an opening to go out of. At this point I am getting ready to burst. Now I'm ready to let go. I have what one might call a rather large belly and can't see everything I need to see. I notice things don't look exactly right other than a half naked man peeing over or under a dear stand railing 15 ft in the air, I can't see for sure but it's supposed to be under. I make an adjustment to see better and find I have peed on the rail and it is going down in my my new coveralls. When I made the adjustment to see better I began too go directly in my new coveralls. I have gone in my clothes, on my boots and all over the deer stand. By the time I got down out of the stand I have it all over me. I hike back to my truck and don't stop to talk to my hunting buddy that owns the farm I am hunting get in the truck and go home. Sorry for the long post but sometimes you just have to vent. So next time you have a little problem hunting just remember me.
:mj07: :142lmao: :lol2
 

vinnie

la vita ? buona
Forum Member
Sep 11, 2000
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Here
LMAO I can picture this all to well as I have a buddy that's 6'2" & weighs 424 :scared and his fvckin head is about 50 of it :mj07:
 

JOSHNAUDI

That Guy
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Dec 12, 2000
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Seguin, TX
www.schwartz-associates.com
thanks for sharing and providing a laugh

i walked in a few minutes ago after smoking and my buddy asked if i went to the car in the rain. i said no, thought nothing of it, and when i sat down saw that there was a fairly sizeable wet spot on my chest. So next time you spit on yourself I hope its raining and you think quicker than I do.
 

dawgball

Registered User
Forum Member
Feb 12, 2000
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I was going to say that you must have put on a TON of weight since last year!
 

Franky Wright

Registered User
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May 28, 2002
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Heaven, oh!!, this isn't it?!
Thats only half as bad as this one :mj14:

About a decade ago, my brothers and some friends were hunting deer on a cold crisp November Saturday opening morning. No one having much luck, started to head back to camp for some coffee and a mid morning snack. In Wisconsin, you are required to wear Blaze Orange for safety purposes (during gun season). As we look off in the distance, we see our brother coming up the trail towards us. Now the week before, the farmer was spreading manure on one of the fields down below the ridge, and it stunk to holy hell :scared . But the smell when he arrived gave this farmer a run for his money. When confronted on this, he just shuffled his feet and looked away. Another member of our party asked what happened to the front of his Blaze Orange coveralls? The gig was up and he had to come clean :brows:
Seems the night before with all the beer drinking, shots, and some powerful chili, made quite a stir in his bowels. He said he barely got all his layers off, before the garden hose let loose :scared :eek: . After a while, he started cleaning up his mess, and noticed in his haste, that he had not moved the overalls off to the side, and left this large "Mud puddle" right in the middle of overalls :mj07: :clap:
He says to us; "WHAT, CAN YOU SMELL IT?!"
We laughed our asses off, and he still hears about it every fall!
Needless to say, he saw no deer after that :clap:

Franky
 
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