This post is not necessarily looking for advice, but a dialgoue... and am hoping to see if anyone else has had an experience that is similar or familar to you.
Some of you may or may not know... but I am a single father (divocred with custody) that has been searching for my soul mate for years. (Yes, I hear the snickers but to no affect.... I get one turn in this life... I can admit my longing for a signifigant other!)
I have had one signifigant dating experience since then.... actually several years of living together but decided not to pursue that in marriage. Too many issues between us, although I am thankful for her insight into helping raise my son, etc.
Here is the part were I would like to hear from you...experiences good or bad.
I have been on the Match.com's of the world, and have met some wonderful woman... not my match but some great gals. One even got the opportunity to meet my son... very unsual as I do not shuffle people in and out of his life. Dating is typically done when he is at his mom's for a weekend of during the day during the week, because I have custody of my son. Well this one gal was great, me my son... they were good and she was the first person I ever dated with a child. She was divorced, and had a 10 year old. Nice enough kid, but once the newness came off... the parenting was not good on her part. More befriending her daughter tahn parenting... now I have a M.Ed... I can pick students out of a class that has parenting like this and there was no way I was going down that road... or enlisting my son for those types of experiences... so I called it off. Thus, I became someone that decided to only date women without children... that way no issues IMO!
I am 41, so meeting women without children they are mostly in their low 30's... no problem once again some great gals, and plenty of them. But, I got so bored. I mean, I dated outside of my norms, some I thought where in my wheelhouse, but no connection. We are talking at least 40 some odd different women, so it is not like I didn't get a good sample size. So ultimately... I decided to take some time off from dating... just needing an emotional break, and hoping for some new talent to come around. (After awhile, you see the same faces over and over on these sights!)
Then out of the blue, I get a friend request from a past relationship that occurred 18 years ago. It was more physical...relationship not emotional or true BF/GF. Anyways.... I write back saying Hi Beautiful, and a couple other sentences with no real value other than HI, and how have you been. Her reply was succinct with a very nice tone... and a hope we could communicate again on FB. So nothing searching just old friends saying high.
This is where I am looking for experiences... this woman had literally captured in a short period of time my attention, heart, etc. I am awestruck with her. She was married, 15 years... and divorced for a little over 2. She is literally to me an absolute dream come true... highly educated, an absolute beauty... I mean Vinnie approved HOT, and a true professional with a high level career. Our interests, our needs, are complimentary and she is just down right the one! Here is the fear.. and she has already diffused it for the most part in a 15 minute conversation where I went from no way would I date to a situation where I am very, very comfortable with it.... she has 5 kids! Not one, or two, or three... 5 kids!!! 3 are biological, twins and another... the oldest is now an adult in her 20's with some cognitive inabilities, and another was an adoption from China. Just wanted to add to the troupe... she is like the Angelina Jolie of the world... of course she did not expect the divorce when acquiring the childred... but she is glad she is out of it. He was a high level exec. so they were the type with multiple homes, on golf courses etc. he does pay quite a bit of support from what I understand... and she could handle it herself as well without the support. So my fear about a relationship because of financial need is not a factor or concern.
But I will be soon entering into the meeting of children etc. and I have a slight. slight fear. I don't want my son to lose any identity... he is pretty close to me... and I never want to lose that. (There are things I can do to maintain that and I will, but other's with experiences if any would be appreciated!) I also am fully trying to engage myself and wrap myself around potentially having 6 children in my household!! That for sure is an oh my freakin goodness moment! Now, I used to teach, I love kids... but think of that househould. The youngest would be my son at 8, then two -9 year olds, one 11, one 12, and the older child. So fun times, and scary times. The mix would be 3 boys and 3 girls.
Anyone have an experience dating someone with that many chiidren? How was that integrated? Anyone think I am just crazy for entertaining it? (I mean this woman, is the full meal deal all wrapped into one, so my guard has been diffused,and I have thoroughly enjoyed our interactions!)
Rambling now... but am hoping other's might have done something like this...
Thoughts.....
:0corn :0corn :0corn :0corn :0corn :0corn
Some of you may or may not know... but I am a single father (divocred with custody) that has been searching for my soul mate for years. (Yes, I hear the snickers but to no affect.... I get one turn in this life... I can admit my longing for a signifigant other!)
I have had one signifigant dating experience since then.... actually several years of living together but decided not to pursue that in marriage. Too many issues between us, although I am thankful for her insight into helping raise my son, etc.
Here is the part were I would like to hear from you...experiences good or bad.
I have been on the Match.com's of the world, and have met some wonderful woman... not my match but some great gals. One even got the opportunity to meet my son... very unsual as I do not shuffle people in and out of his life. Dating is typically done when he is at his mom's for a weekend of during the day during the week, because I have custody of my son. Well this one gal was great, me my son... they were good and she was the first person I ever dated with a child. She was divorced, and had a 10 year old. Nice enough kid, but once the newness came off... the parenting was not good on her part. More befriending her daughter tahn parenting... now I have a M.Ed... I can pick students out of a class that has parenting like this and there was no way I was going down that road... or enlisting my son for those types of experiences... so I called it off. Thus, I became someone that decided to only date women without children... that way no issues IMO!
I am 41, so meeting women without children they are mostly in their low 30's... no problem once again some great gals, and plenty of them. But, I got so bored. I mean, I dated outside of my norms, some I thought where in my wheelhouse, but no connection. We are talking at least 40 some odd different women, so it is not like I didn't get a good sample size. So ultimately... I decided to take some time off from dating... just needing an emotional break, and hoping for some new talent to come around. (After awhile, you see the same faces over and over on these sights!)
Then out of the blue, I get a friend request from a past relationship that occurred 18 years ago. It was more physical...relationship not emotional or true BF/GF. Anyways.... I write back saying Hi Beautiful, and a couple other sentences with no real value other than HI, and how have you been. Her reply was succinct with a very nice tone... and a hope we could communicate again on FB. So nothing searching just old friends saying high.
This is where I am looking for experiences... this woman had literally captured in a short period of time my attention, heart, etc. I am awestruck with her. She was married, 15 years... and divorced for a little over 2. She is literally to me an absolute dream come true... highly educated, an absolute beauty... I mean Vinnie approved HOT, and a true professional with a high level career. Our interests, our needs, are complimentary and she is just down right the one! Here is the fear.. and she has already diffused it for the most part in a 15 minute conversation where I went from no way would I date to a situation where I am very, very comfortable with it.... she has 5 kids! Not one, or two, or three... 5 kids!!! 3 are biological, twins and another... the oldest is now an adult in her 20's with some cognitive inabilities, and another was an adoption from China. Just wanted to add to the troupe... she is like the Angelina Jolie of the world... of course she did not expect the divorce when acquiring the childred... but she is glad she is out of it. He was a high level exec. so they were the type with multiple homes, on golf courses etc. he does pay quite a bit of support from what I understand... and she could handle it herself as well without the support. So my fear about a relationship because of financial need is not a factor or concern.
But I will be soon entering into the meeting of children etc. and I have a slight. slight fear. I don't want my son to lose any identity... he is pretty close to me... and I never want to lose that. (There are things I can do to maintain that and I will, but other's with experiences if any would be appreciated!) I also am fully trying to engage myself and wrap myself around potentially having 6 children in my household!! That for sure is an oh my freakin goodness moment! Now, I used to teach, I love kids... but think of that househould. The youngest would be my son at 8, then two -9 year olds, one 11, one 12, and the older child. So fun times, and scary times. The mix would be 3 boys and 3 girls.
Anyone have an experience dating someone with that many chiidren? How was that integrated? Anyone think I am just crazy for entertaining it? (I mean this woman, is the full meal deal all wrapped into one, so my guard has been diffused,and I have thoroughly enjoyed our interactions!)
Rambling now... but am hoping other's might have done something like this...
Thoughts.....
:0corn :0corn :0corn :0corn :0corn :0corn
