How To Offend Nearly Everybody

[Blitz]

1. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

2. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

3. What would you call it if an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

4. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
They're hiring.

5. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

6. How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the S... word?
Get another sweet little old lady to yell "Bingo"

7. What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?
A northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairy tale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s......."

8. My, my, how times have changed. Years ago....when 100 white men chased one black man, we called it the Klu Klux Klan.
Today they call it the PGA.

9. Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

 

[IntenseOperator]

Why were there only 500 Mexicans at the Alamo?

They only had one yellow Chevy.

 

[CryBoy]

slight chuckle... from

8. My, my, how times have changed. Years ago....when 100 white men chased one black man, we called it the Klu Klux Klan.
Today they call it the PGA.

 

[blgstocks]

i cracked up at the disneyland one

 

[IntenseOperator]

One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over ten years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."

And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.

Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure.

Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop dead gorgeous blonde!

The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar.

"Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.

With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a package of fresh Cuban cigars.

He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the man, "that is so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

"And how long has it been since you've tasted the Powers of good Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."

Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket and removes a flask and hands it to him.

He opened the flask and took a long drink. "T'is nectar of the gods!" stated the Irishman. ''Tis truly fantastic!!!"

At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his trembling knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't cha be tell'n me that you've got a set of golf clubs in
there, too!"