Hedgie,
Everyfuckingbody gets divorced sooner or later, either that or they are widowed or dead so you aren't the only person that has to deal with break-ups or heartache. The problem is, you suck at dealing with it. You simply don't deal with it at all. You are bitter about the divorce yet you say it was all too late?! Do you have any idea how you are going to fill the void that you are left with? You obviously are the type that needs reassurance that someone cares about you and/or loves you. That in of itself is no big deal, but where you are searching for acceptance will only bring more heartache to you my man. Step away from the bottle and the crack pipe for a couple of weeks and see how things look then. Then you can make a clear headed decision on how you want to attack this thing most of us call life.
Bold with an edge is a description for a good wine not you, you are old with a hedge not bold with an edge.
I doubt anything will help but hopefully this will,
FDC