November.4. 2003
Subject: put away that lotion
There are a few types of sluts out there in this STD infested world. Some hizzos drink your beer, some require that you spend your mom and dads money (considering you have enough), some require that you be the start sports player at your school to even associate with you, and then there is the slut who I'm betting she would claim "I was born a slut, I can't help it." To better associate you next time your in an area that contains female species, a description of each is necessary.
Beer Slut: The beer slut is pretty obvious and can be found quite easily. How might you ask? By whipping out your peni by having beer virgin boy. If you are carrying around a 12 pack of beer she will come flocking. This is important, a beer slut will not ask she will just assume its okay and take a beer out of your 12 pack. Any other slut will ask first. A beer slut assumes you know she will be giving payment later when she is drunk. Do realize that 4 guys have nutted in her within a 3 hours time span. A not to those less pimp than me; Do not try and pick up on a beer slut before she is drunk or you will not be catching gonorrhea tonight.
Money Slut:The money slut will sleep with you as long as you qualify as a rich kid. You driving a 1987 Ford Tempo? If you are stop reading because this STD infested slizzut won't have anything to do with you. Usually you can find them by the nice cars or the guys wearing clothing that cost more then you car is worth. This slut will only sleep with you under these conditions: Your mom and dad make over 200,000 a year, you drive something that is from at least 2000, and it has to be a SUV, pickup truck or some sort of car that you could not have purchased without your parents being filthy rich. If you?re a rich kid what does this mean? Mommies a whore, your mom falls under the category Money Slut, if Daddy didn't have money your mom would be out faster then a white kid in Harlem.
Star Slut : The star slut is usually a cheerleader and will sleep with the star of the sports team she is cheering for. If you are the shit at basketball, you can bet your left and right nut that the cheerleading squad wants to pull of a massive orgy with you. Trust me I know from experience. Anyways not much to say about them just that cheerleaders = sluts and sluts = free vagina.
Status Slut : This slut somehow manages to incorporate a lot of the traits the other sluts have. She will sleep with anyone that will make her status go up with the guys. If you?re the class president... yup you got it, you can shoot your load on this girls stomach no questions asked. The status slut also is usually very very skilled in workin' it. She has a rep to protect and her status will not be high amongst the guys if she is like a dead fish is bed. With this one it?s almost like sleeping with a black girl.
Grade Slut : Alright nerds, apparently after years of research there is a slut for you guys. Your brains are all it takes. The grade slut needs to pass a class and doesn't want her parents to higher a tutor, so she will sleep with you under the minor assumption that you will do her homework and let her copy off you during a test. If she's got a paper to write, that means you got a paper to write. No paper = no punanny. Also I know you nerds are interested in the buttsex but these sluts are exit only sluts. However if she has to write a paper on Colonial Politics, you have leverage my friend...USE IT.
All Around Slut : The all around slut doesn?t care about your name, status, if your rich, what kind of car you drive or anything. She just loves the cock. If she?s feeling like doing the dirty, she will with the first guy she sees. Once she sees you its over for you, doesn?t matter if you want it or not (you better want it sissy boy). If you?re at a club and feel a girl grabbing your crotch and you turn around and she doesn?t say anything about buying her a drink, you?re in like flint.
I'm sure there are plenty of types of sluts. Every girl is a slut on the inside. Hell if I was a girl I would most defiantly be a slut. Especially if I got a disease I would spread that shit around like the rumor that you and your sister made out. The quiet girl in class, you guessed she is a slut. The quiet ones are always the kinkiest remember that, and the ones that look like they haven?t been women for long?they haven?t run while you can. Also the girls that everyone thinks are sluts usually are big time teases who only have "penis in the vagina sex" with their boyfriends, however they will cheat on these boyfriends and either make out with you or do something besides letting you "park your car in her garage." When approaching a believed slut, do what I do make reference to how you masturbate frequently, and then let nature take its course. If it fails well at least you can still masturbate.
So the next time your in public and you see a girl, try and use the descriptions above to make a fool proof way to get laid. However if you think she's a slut and you get bitch slapped like a black man who cussed at his mama, don't come crying to me. If by chance my descriptions are right and you end up getting laid please e-mail me with details and exact words you said so I can put away this Johnson and Johnson lotion for good.
Subject: put away that lotion
There are a few types of sluts out there in this STD infested world. Some hizzos drink your beer, some require that you spend your mom and dads money (considering you have enough), some require that you be the start sports player at your school to even associate with you, and then there is the slut who I'm betting she would claim "I was born a slut, I can't help it." To better associate you next time your in an area that contains female species, a description of each is necessary.
Beer Slut: The beer slut is pretty obvious and can be found quite easily. How might you ask? By whipping out your peni by having beer virgin boy. If you are carrying around a 12 pack of beer she will come flocking. This is important, a beer slut will not ask she will just assume its okay and take a beer out of your 12 pack. Any other slut will ask first. A beer slut assumes you know she will be giving payment later when she is drunk. Do realize that 4 guys have nutted in her within a 3 hours time span. A not to those less pimp than me; Do not try and pick up on a beer slut before she is drunk or you will not be catching gonorrhea tonight.
Money Slut:The money slut will sleep with you as long as you qualify as a rich kid. You driving a 1987 Ford Tempo? If you are stop reading because this STD infested slizzut won't have anything to do with you. Usually you can find them by the nice cars or the guys wearing clothing that cost more then you car is worth. This slut will only sleep with you under these conditions: Your mom and dad make over 200,000 a year, you drive something that is from at least 2000, and it has to be a SUV, pickup truck or some sort of car that you could not have purchased without your parents being filthy rich. If you?re a rich kid what does this mean? Mommies a whore, your mom falls under the category Money Slut, if Daddy didn't have money your mom would be out faster then a white kid in Harlem.
Star Slut : The star slut is usually a cheerleader and will sleep with the star of the sports team she is cheering for. If you are the shit at basketball, you can bet your left and right nut that the cheerleading squad wants to pull of a massive orgy with you. Trust me I know from experience. Anyways not much to say about them just that cheerleaders = sluts and sluts = free vagina.
Status Slut : This slut somehow manages to incorporate a lot of the traits the other sluts have. She will sleep with anyone that will make her status go up with the guys. If you?re the class president... yup you got it, you can shoot your load on this girls stomach no questions asked. The status slut also is usually very very skilled in workin' it. She has a rep to protect and her status will not be high amongst the guys if she is like a dead fish is bed. With this one it?s almost like sleeping with a black girl.
Grade Slut : Alright nerds, apparently after years of research there is a slut for you guys. Your brains are all it takes. The grade slut needs to pass a class and doesn't want her parents to higher a tutor, so she will sleep with you under the minor assumption that you will do her homework and let her copy off you during a test. If she's got a paper to write, that means you got a paper to write. No paper = no punanny. Also I know you nerds are interested in the buttsex but these sluts are exit only sluts. However if she has to write a paper on Colonial Politics, you have leverage my friend...USE IT.
All Around Slut : The all around slut doesn?t care about your name, status, if your rich, what kind of car you drive or anything. She just loves the cock. If she?s feeling like doing the dirty, she will with the first guy she sees. Once she sees you its over for you, doesn?t matter if you want it or not (you better want it sissy boy). If you?re at a club and feel a girl grabbing your crotch and you turn around and she doesn?t say anything about buying her a drink, you?re in like flint.
I'm sure there are plenty of types of sluts. Every girl is a slut on the inside. Hell if I was a girl I would most defiantly be a slut. Especially if I got a disease I would spread that shit around like the rumor that you and your sister made out. The quiet girl in class, you guessed she is a slut. The quiet ones are always the kinkiest remember that, and the ones that look like they haven?t been women for long?they haven?t run while you can. Also the girls that everyone thinks are sluts usually are big time teases who only have "penis in the vagina sex" with their boyfriends, however they will cheat on these boyfriends and either make out with you or do something besides letting you "park your car in her garage." When approaching a believed slut, do what I do make reference to how you masturbate frequently, and then let nature take its course. If it fails well at least you can still masturbate.
So the next time your in public and you see a girl, try and use the descriptions above to make a fool proof way to get laid. However if you think she's a slut and you get bitch slapped like a black man who cussed at his mama, don't come crying to me. If by chance my descriptions are right and you end up getting laid please e-mail me with details and exact words you said so I can put away this Johnson and Johnson lotion for good.
