- Mar 19, 2006
- 38,712
- 599
- 113
- 75
Subject: Police Comments
These Police comments were taken off actual police car tape recorders
around the country:
#16) 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just
went through.'
#15) 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
after you wear them a while.'
# 14) 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'
#13) 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.' :00hour
#12) 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.' :scared
#11) 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'
#10) 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor? '
#9) 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket.' :mj07:
#8) 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
#7) 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in m onkey
poop.'
#6) 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven.' :mj07:
#5) 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
#4) 'How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?'
#3) 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
#2) 'I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend
of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1) 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here.'
These Police comments were taken off actual police car tape recorders
around the country:
#16) 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just
went through.'
#15) 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
after you wear them a while.'
# 14) 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'
#13) 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.' :00hour
#12) 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.' :scared
#11) 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'
#10) 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor? '
#9) 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket.' :mj07:
#8) 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
#7) 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in m onkey
poop.'
#6) 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven.' :mj07:
#5) 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
#4) 'How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?'
#3) 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
#2) 'I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend
of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1) 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here.'
