Joke Time

[Sportsaholic]

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral.

A huge heart covered in flowers
stood behind the casket during the service
.
Following the eulogy,
the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.

The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.

When all eyes stared at him, he said,
"I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral"

I'm a gynecologist."

That's when the proctologist fainted.

 

[BADTODABONE]

A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport .

The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our

final descent into Tampa . I want to thank you for flying with us today and

hope you enjoy your stay in

the Tampa Bay area".

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear

his conversation from the cockpit.

The copilot can be heard saying to the pilot, "So, Skip, whatcha

got planned while we're in Tampa ?"

"Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel,

take a big crap....then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge

tits out for dinner.... I'm gonna wine and

dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony

all night long."

Aghast and amused,everyone on the plane hears this and immediately

begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new

stewardess is that the pilot's talking about.

Meanwhile,the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the

plane. She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit

to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old

lady's bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's

gotta land the plane and take a shit first."

 

[zoomer]

A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport .

The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our

final descent into Tampa . I want to thank you for flying with us today and

hope you enjoy your stay in

the Tampa Bay area".

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear

his conversation from the cockpit.

The copilot can be heard saying to the pilot, "So, Skip, whatcha

got planned while we're in Tampa ?"

"Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel,

take a big crap....then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge

tits out for dinner.... I'm gonna wine and

dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony

all night long."

Aghast and amused,everyone on the plane hears this and immediately

begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new

stewardess is that the pilot's talking about.

Meanwhile,the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the

plane. She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit

to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old

lady's bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's

gotta land the plane and take a shit first."

:mj07: