The elderly man and his wife went in for their annual physical check-up. The man went in first and after his exam the doctor said to the man, "You appear to be in quite good health. "Do you have any particular medical concerns you would like to ask me about?"
"In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex with my wife the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with her the next time, I am usually cold and chilly. It alternates like that."
"That is unusual!", said the doctor, "I'd better examine your wife now".
After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then said to her: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He
claims that alternatively, he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex with you one time, and then cold and chilly after the next time. Do you know why?"
"Oh that crazy old fart," she replied. "That's because the first time is
usually in July and the second time is in January ..
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In most of the Canadian provinces, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop into the single digits or below.
One morning in March 2004, about 3 AM, RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) Constable Bill Wisen was awakened to respond to a call of a car off the shoulder of the TransCanada Highway outside of Medicine Hat, Alberta.
Constable Wisen located the car still running, stuck in deep snow alongside the highway. Pulling in behind it with his emergency lights on, Constable Wisen walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a near empty bottle of vodka on the seat.
He tapped on the window and the driver woke up and saw the rotating lights in his rear view mirror and the RCMP Constable standing next to his car.
The man panicked and jerked the gearshift into drive and hit the gas. The car's engine revved and the wheels spun madly, but the car was firmly buried in the snow.
Constable Wisen, having a sense of humor, began running in place
next to the "speeding" but still stationary car. The driver was totally freaked thinking the officer was actually keeping up with him.
This went on for about 20 seconds until Constable Wisen yelled at the man to "pull over". The man obeyed and turned his wheel and stopped the engine.
Once out of the car, the drunken driver asked about the RCMP's
special training and how could he run so fast? The man, Mr. Robert Duport of Medicine Hat, was arrested still believing that an RCMP Constable had outrun his car.
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