Hey again MJ brothers (and sisters......this is for you Hippo),
Been a tough week for the Bartman. Started feeling a bit under the weather this past weekend but i chalked it up to allergies. Nothing too fierce. But as the week progressed, so did the symptoms. Finally yesterday, I went to the doc and got some medicine to knock out this crud that I have. 10 days of amoxicillan......yay. On my way in from filling the prescription and with Chik-Fil-A soup in tow, I stop at the mailbox. My final divorce decree was sitting there waiting on me. Now obviously I knew it was coming soon or later, but it just kinda hit me at a bad time. I'm already feeling kinda beat up over being sick.....then that lil kick in the gut. I guess the best analogy I can give is I felt like I just read the final word to a book that I didn't want to end. Now...don't get me wrong....there was never any wiggle room on getting back together, obviously.....but just the finality of it all in that moment was a lot to absorb.
And ya know how things just don't go your way when you already feel bad? Well, I ordered some food from a local eatery and went to pick it up (even though I didn't feel like moving at all)....and I get there and don't have my debit card. WTF!? Perplexed, I think back and remember the last place I used it was at the pharmacy....and those fuckers always put your card inside the prescription bag when you go through the drive-thru. So I had do drive back home.....retrieve the card....go back, retrieve the meal....then back home to eat it. Sometimes, you just have to sit back and laugh about stuff.....which is what i did.
I tried giving work a go today, but after being there for about 3 hours this morning, it was obvious that I didn't need to be there. I'm just too under the weather...and I don't wanna be the dick that gets others sick. On the way in, I checked the mail again and inside I had a card from my Mom. Aren't Moms just awesome? She didn't know it, but it really couldnt have come at a better time.
So even though I'm sitting in my new apartment alone and sick, I feel ever so slightly better, even if it's just emotionally better. This past couple of months really has been a lot to process. I'm relearning how to do things by myself again. Not having someone there for you when you are sick, or need an ear, etc., is a big adjustment. The truth of the matter is, I really liked being married....loved it actually. I think that's what makes the lonesome feelings creep into my head sometimes.
But I know all of this is short-term. In another few months, things will be different and I'll have a different mindset. I thought I'd never get over losing my Dad. Fact is....i miss him but I know that life has gone on and he'd be proud of me for having got on with my life.
Now don't go thinking that good ol Phart is out on a ledge somewhere, ready to take a swandive and take a dirtnap. That couldnt be further from the truth. one thing I like about life is feeling emotions....even the ones that make you hurt. Because without the hurt.....the love and all the good that comes with it just wouldnt be as sweet. And that's the truth.
I hope that all of you are well and it was great seeing many of you a few weeks back.
Bart
Been a tough week for the Bartman. Started feeling a bit under the weather this past weekend but i chalked it up to allergies. Nothing too fierce. But as the week progressed, so did the symptoms. Finally yesterday, I went to the doc and got some medicine to knock out this crud that I have. 10 days of amoxicillan......yay. On my way in from filling the prescription and with Chik-Fil-A soup in tow, I stop at the mailbox. My final divorce decree was sitting there waiting on me. Now obviously I knew it was coming soon or later, but it just kinda hit me at a bad time. I'm already feeling kinda beat up over being sick.....then that lil kick in the gut. I guess the best analogy I can give is I felt like I just read the final word to a book that I didn't want to end. Now...don't get me wrong....there was never any wiggle room on getting back together, obviously.....but just the finality of it all in that moment was a lot to absorb.
And ya know how things just don't go your way when you already feel bad? Well, I ordered some food from a local eatery and went to pick it up (even though I didn't feel like moving at all)....and I get there and don't have my debit card. WTF!? Perplexed, I think back and remember the last place I used it was at the pharmacy....and those fuckers always put your card inside the prescription bag when you go through the drive-thru. So I had do drive back home.....retrieve the card....go back, retrieve the meal....then back home to eat it. Sometimes, you just have to sit back and laugh about stuff.....which is what i did.
I tried giving work a go today, but after being there for about 3 hours this morning, it was obvious that I didn't need to be there. I'm just too under the weather...and I don't wanna be the dick that gets others sick. On the way in, I checked the mail again and inside I had a card from my Mom. Aren't Moms just awesome? She didn't know it, but it really couldnt have come at a better time.
So even though I'm sitting in my new apartment alone and sick, I feel ever so slightly better, even if it's just emotionally better. This past couple of months really has been a lot to process. I'm relearning how to do things by myself again. Not having someone there for you when you are sick, or need an ear, etc., is a big adjustment. The truth of the matter is, I really liked being married....loved it actually. I think that's what makes the lonesome feelings creep into my head sometimes.
But I know all of this is short-term. In another few months, things will be different and I'll have a different mindset. I thought I'd never get over losing my Dad. Fact is....i miss him but I know that life has gone on and he'd be proud of me for having got on with my life.
Now don't go thinking that good ol Phart is out on a ledge somewhere, ready to take a swandive and take a dirtnap. That couldnt be further from the truth. one thing I like about life is feeling emotions....even the ones that make you hurt. Because without the hurt.....the love and all the good that comes with it just wouldnt be as sweet. And that's the truth.
I hope that all of you are well and it was great seeing many of you a few weeks back.
Bart
