"Knock, knock..."

gardenweasel

gardenweasel

el guapo
Forum Member
Jan 10, 2002
40,588
234
63
"the bunker"
after retiring, a guy went to the social security office to apply for social security....

the woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify my age.....he looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home....

he told the woman that he was very sorry, but he would have to go home and come back later. ...

the woman said, 'unbutton your shirt'....so he opened his shirt revealing his curly silver hair....


she said, 'that silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed his social security application...

when h got home, he excitedly told his wife about his experience at the social security office....
she said, 'you should have dropped your pants... you might have gotten disability, too'

.............................

and then the fight started.....


i rear-ended a car this morning....so there we are, alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car....

and you know how you just get s-o-o-o-o stressed out and stuff seems to get funny? ...yeah, well, i could NOT believe it ... he was a DWARF!...

he storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"...so, i look down at him and say, "well, which one are you then?"

.... and that's when the fight started!

..........................

:rimshot
 
Sportsaholic

Sportsaholic

Jack's Mentor
Forum Member
Jan 18, 2000
32,345
314
0
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Crustacean Nation
IntenseOperator said:
Negative People.

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing, and cares less, tries to make your life miserable..
;
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

'Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?'

'We're taking Continental,' was the reply! 'We got a great rate!'

'Continental?' exclaimed the hairdresser.' That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?'

'We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste.'

'Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they're overpriced.'

'So, whatcha' doing when you get there?'

'We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope..'

'That's rich,' laughed the hairdresser. 'You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it.'

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .

'It was wonderful,' explained the woman, 'not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new20planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!'

'Well,' muttered the hairdresser, 'that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope.'

'Actual ly, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.'

'Oh, really! What'd he say ?'

He said: 'Where'd you get the shitty Hair do?'
Click to expand...



I didn't know Kosar was a hairdresser :shrug:
 
Blitz

Blitz

Hopeful
Forum Member
Jan 6, 2002
7,543
46
48
58
North of Titletown AKA Boston
gardenweasel said:
i rear-ended a car this morning....so there we are, alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car....

and you know how you just get s-o-o-o-o stressed out and stuff seems to get funny? ...yeah, well, i could NOT believe it ... he was a DWARF!...

he storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"...so, i look down at him and say, "well, which one are you then?"

.... and that's when the fight started!

..........................

:rimshot
Click to expand...

:mj07: :mj07: :mj07: :142smilie :142smilie :142smilie
 
Jaxx

Jaxx

Go Pokes!
Forum Member
Jan 5, 2003
7,084
88
48
FL
buddy said:
"Who's there?"

"Oswald"

"Oswald who?"

"Oswald my bubble gum."

:142smilie
Click to expand...

Sorry did not get it. Of course I never found the funny papers on Sunday funny either. Never read them.
 
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