Hey guys....
I haven't posted a ton lately....mainly because of what's been going on in my life. Several weeks ago, I let you all know that Samantha had decided that she wants to separate and ultimately divorce. It's been an emotional struggle to be under the same roof with a woman you love.....knowing that she's about to walk out of your life. That all comes to an end on Thursday morning. She starts her trek back to Canada then. As I said before, I will wish her well and I really do hope that she finds what she's looking for. In the meantime, it's gonna be hard......very hard. I'm going to be left here in the life that she and I have created over the past 9+ years. She's a special person and I've been lucky to have had such a good 12 total years with her.
It's scary going forward, not really having a direction. People who know me know that I am consistent. And I like being that way. My sense of normal is going to be greatly altered here in a matter of hours. I decided to take off the rest of the week from work. Tomorrow, I figure that I'll help her load up the car and pack it with anything she wants to take. It's going to feel very odd knowing that I am helping her pack up to leave me behind. Then Thursday morning, she'll drive away....never to return. That's hard to even type.
I know that some people may say....."well there is always a chance she will change her mind and realize that she's made a mistake." To that I say, there is no chance of that. I know her well enough to know this.....she's made up her mind. yes, when she goes home to Canada, she will miss me (I have no doubts of that)....but she'll get through the tough times. She's a tough woman. But more importantly, once I watch her drive away, I'll be watching a large piece of my heart drive away too. I won't allow myself to sit here and have hope that one day she'll come to her senses and call me up...wanting to come back. That can't happen because nothing good can come of that. The trust is gone....and there is no relationship that ever works without that.
Thanks for letting me vent guys
I haven't posted a ton lately....mainly because of what's been going on in my life. Several weeks ago, I let you all know that Samantha had decided that she wants to separate and ultimately divorce. It's been an emotional struggle to be under the same roof with a woman you love.....knowing that she's about to walk out of your life. That all comes to an end on Thursday morning. She starts her trek back to Canada then. As I said before, I will wish her well and I really do hope that she finds what she's looking for. In the meantime, it's gonna be hard......very hard. I'm going to be left here in the life that she and I have created over the past 9+ years. She's a special person and I've been lucky to have had such a good 12 total years with her.
It's scary going forward, not really having a direction. People who know me know that I am consistent. And I like being that way. My sense of normal is going to be greatly altered here in a matter of hours. I decided to take off the rest of the week from work. Tomorrow, I figure that I'll help her load up the car and pack it with anything she wants to take. It's going to feel very odd knowing that I am helping her pack up to leave me behind. Then Thursday morning, she'll drive away....never to return. That's hard to even type.
I know that some people may say....."well there is always a chance she will change her mind and realize that she's made a mistake." To that I say, there is no chance of that. I know her well enough to know this.....she's made up her mind. yes, when she goes home to Canada, she will miss me (I have no doubts of that)....but she'll get through the tough times. She's a tough woman. But more importantly, once I watch her drive away, I'll be watching a large piece of my heart drive away too. I won't allow myself to sit here and have hope that one day she'll come to her senses and call me up...wanting to come back. That can't happen because nothing good can come of that. The trust is gone....and there is no relationship that ever works without that.
Thanks for letting me vent guys
