Marriage and Haunting

Justinsmom829

Registered User
Forum Member
Apr 7, 2003
967
1
0
46
Philadelphia
Happy Friday!!!


Marriage and Haunting

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.

The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.

The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68.

His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.

Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"

The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down..."

My kind of woman!!!

Missy
 

IntenseOperator

DeweyOxburger
Forum Member
Sep 16, 2003
17,897
63
0
Chicago
Like the aspirin one....



NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for
up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and
loneliness by reminding you of how
awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't
wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full
cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases
intelligence, and prevents
conception.

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously
low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by
controlling road rage and the urge
to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases
resistance to such lethal
lines as, "You make me want to be a better person .
Can we get naked now?"

B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
Increases potency, duration,
and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember
your birthday,
anniversary or phone number.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T!
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on
anyone too eager to share
their life stories with total strangers in elevators
or on airplanes.

N A G A M E T
When administered to a husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging
him all weekend, saving the wife the time and
trouble of doing it herself.

:)
 
Bet on MyBookie
Top