1.. Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage,
and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married.
Did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure. What was her maiden name?"
2.. A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did
all of my intelligence come from?"
The father replied: "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your
mother, 'cause I still have mine."
3.. "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the
divorce court judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."
"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now
and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
4.. A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and
ordered a double scotch on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he
peeked inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch.
After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket
and ordered another double scotch.
Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you drinks
all night long, but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket
before you order another."
The customer replied, "I'm looking at a photo of my wife. When she
starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
5.. A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I
don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither, doc." said the husband. "But she's a great cook and
really good with the kids."
6.. An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a
curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact
words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and
wife."
and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married.
Did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure. What was her maiden name?"
2.. A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did
all of my intelligence come from?"
The father replied: "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your
mother, 'cause I still have mine."
3.. "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the
divorce court judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."
"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now
and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
4.. A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and
ordered a double scotch on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he
peeked inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch.
After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket
and ordered another double scotch.
Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you drinks
all night long, but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket
before you order another."
The customer replied, "I'm looking at a photo of my wife. When she
starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
5.. A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I
don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither, doc." said the husband. "But she's a great cook and
really good with the kids."
6.. An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a
curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact
words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and
wife."
