Mothers

Handi Capper

'That Said'
Forum Member
Apr 8, 2004
11,777
566
113
67
northern Ky
How many times did we hear these, and maybe even said them?

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION . "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC . "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT . "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY ."Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM . "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA ..
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"

Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!
But, there is one missing from this list~~My personal all-time favorite!

My mother taught me about CHOICE .
"Do you want me to stop this car?"
 

Handi Capper

'That Said'
Forum Member
Apr 8, 2004
11,777
566
113
67
northern Ky
How many times did we hear these, and maybe even said them?

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION . "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC . "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT . "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY ."Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM . "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA ..
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"

Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!
But, there is one missing from this list~~My personal all-time favorite!

My mother taught me about CHOICE .
"Do you want me to stop this car?"

favorite #4
 

The Mover

Registered User
Forum Member
Mar 22, 2000
3,998
47
0
Detroit,Mi
Thanks Handi ! After reading them it brought a smile to my face remembering both of parent's rattling them off.... I used them on my kid's & now my grandkids.
 

Scrapman

Rollingdembones
Forum Member
Jan 6, 2013
5,929
112
63
south east PA
hmmmmmmm i got a few from my mom ( gone in 09)

MY mom taught me to be wise!
What are YOU an idiot?

MY mom Taught me Trcikery in asking Questions

Who did you have in here last night?

All the time she asked that question until one day AH HA CAUGHT YOU MOM i proven me and friends were else where last night at movies or someplace else!

I always wondered how she knew even after we cleaned up all cig ashes and trash and everything else!

And some of my Moms name calling me i just cannoy repeat or other saysings she said !

Like YOU clean like your sisters asshole !

I'm only child ?
 
Bet on MyBookie
Top