My buddy & some chick...need help...LONG

[3 Seconds]

Ok, being the married guy that I am I see things in a very different way the a my friend.....need some MJ input on what the deal is....here is the story...

My friend Sean has been seriously dating a girl for 3 years, they live together but are not married.

Sean 31, myself & a few other buddies reguarly frequent a local bar...there is one particular bartender that he always flirted with & she responded in kind(she is smokin hot)...they were definately attracted to each other. Her name is Becca, she is 23 or 24ish something like that & is also dating a guy, but for only a few months...they were both aware of thier situations....

So one evening after her shift ends she hangs out with us & they are seriously flirting, then the kissing beginsin the bar, ass grabbing everything....

She takes him back to her place & they are hookin up & then his girl starts texting him & texting him ..he has to bail or else he might get caught & so he gets out, she is upset that he cant stay with her & was pissed he was going home to "her" when he left it was not bad, but uncomfortable she realy wanted to be with him.....but no f-ing went down


Then after a week or so he contacts her & she says she is so happy to hear from him she really wanted to talk to him, wishing he stopped in blah blah blah...so they meet up again at the bar & they talk about the situation...he says a lot of looks of desire & a few small kisses take place, & they are debating going back to her place she evens says she wants to in worst way but cant..... she feels bad for both their partners & the situation in general.....she gets upset & leaves.

Later that night they are messaging each other & he says to her he doesnt want to upset her & that he wishes her the best & wont be coming to the bar anymore etc...she begs him not to do that, she wants him around she likes their connection & attraction....

Finally today she sends him this text "I think we made the right decision (not doing anything more). Its totally bad timing. I hope one day we can be friends. And then only time will tell....."

He replies "If you are happy then I am, I hate what ifs, but yeah maybe one day...till then take care"

Her last reply is "You too & please dont be a stranger at the bar, I would still enjoy your company"


Now he says she shut the door on him for good in a physical way.

I completely disagree. I think she is trying to buy time since her boyfriend is leaving the area in a month for good.

What do you think? Also what do you think his course of action should be...go to bar & just be nice & make her see him knowing attraction & desire is there? Just cut out the bar all together & see if she contacts him or what?

That doesnt even touch the cheating....but he is dead set on having this girl on the side.....

:shrug:

 

[3 Seconds]

Oh yeah I think a big part of this too is her roommate. She is completely against this & has been making Becca feel like shit about it. The roommate is an unattracitive girl that has been cheated on & hence the extreme distate for the events.

Becca even told him it doesnt help the roomate is making her feel this way....


I really think he could have this girl...it might just take a little time to let the dust settle & but if he goes there & they see each other....no doubt something will eventually happen in my mind.

Now I am against the cheating, but its his life & he has to do what he has to do......just trying to help him out with my best advice.

 

[3 Seconds]

xxxxx

 

[The Sponge]

Sec i think you want her and this is why you are pushing this lol. I think i have met 2 out of ten bartenders who are actually not nuts. If they don't get along with their mother they are diffidently nuts. Most of these girls are only nice to a guy just for the tip. Its like go go girls. Its a business. I was never into the cheating thing so if it was me i wouldn't do it. Some bartenders are nice but sometimes guys think they like them but they are just trying to be nice cause like i said its business. If this guy doesn't mind losing his other girl then go for it. I think if he goes for it this bartender girl is gonna be a problem down the road. If he wants to deal with this problem then so be it. It would be nice if his other girl was a bastard but if she is a nice girl he is just gonna mess her up.

 

[3 Seconds]

Sec i think you want her and this is why you are pushing this lol. I think i have met 2 out of ten bartenders who are actually not nuts. If they don't get along with their mother they are diffidently nuts. Most of these girls are only nice to a guy just for the tip. Its like go go girls. Its a business. I was never into the cheating thing so if it was me i wouldn't do it. Some bartenders are nice but sometimes guys think they like them but they are just trying to be nice cause like i said its business. If this guy doesn't mind losing his other girl then go for it. I think if he goes for it this bartender girl is gonna be a problem down the road. If he wants to deal with this problem then so be it. It would be nice if his other girl was a bastard but if she is a nice girl he is just gonna mess her up.

:nono:

You trying to get me in trouble...my wife reads these forums sometimes :scared

Definately not for me & she knows that(luv ya honey). She is hot & sure all things being equal if I was single I would pound her for a night, but I am happily married...

Thing is this guy is a nutcase too...he has called me about 5x times today on it. This chick is definately not after tips...she wouldnt told her co-workers male & female about her crush who then pushed it by teasing them both, & then taken him home & made out with him & cried & that other bs for a bigger tip.....& if she is she's INSANE, but what it is she is young & confused I think

I just want to see that I am right on my opinion on this.....she in no way has closed him out for good....as he thinks...

 

[kellyindallas]

Maybe the roommate's comments are a result of her having a sense of, I don't know, morality?

How funny you think her position is due to her being "unattractive" and having been cheated on. Maybe she just thinks it's wrong and doesn't want to see her friend suckered in by some jerk.

He wants to play with fire, deal with the consequences...

 

[3 Seconds]

Maybe the roommate's comments are a result of her having a sense of, I don't know, morality?

How funny you think her position is due to her being "unattractive" and having been cheated on. Maybe she just thinks it's wrong and doesn't want to see her friend suckered in by some jerk.

He wants to play with fire, deal with the consequences...

Unattractive & been cheated on have we??

And sweetheart I was there he wasn't doing the suckering in.....it was 100% mutal....

Let it go.

:com:

 

[zoomer]

He gropes this girls ass and kisses her in public, but drops his c*ck and yanks up his socks as soon as his girlfriend text messages him?
I must be missing something here.

 

[kellyindallas]

HA! What a typical response. Can't attack the validity of the post, just the poster.

You're a real winner, guy.

 

[3 Seconds]

He gropes this girls ass and kisses her in public, but drops his c*ck and yanks up his socks as soon as his girlfriend text messages him?
I must be missing something here.

That is what he told me, I said the same thing...supposedly he doesnt want to lose his serious girl, but he does really want this chick....I guess he thought he was trying to play it safe/smart....he said it was like 2 AM & if he wasnt home soon it would be very suspicious....:142smilie

 

[3 Seconds]

HA! What a typical response. Can't attack the validity of the post, just the poster.

You're a real winner, guy.

Actually I did darlin, his moralsl are obviously not where they should be, that aside he wasnt suckering her in, if anything from what I saw she was the catalyst....

Not everyone plays by the rules babycakes

 

[hsams]

see if the Bartender and your wife can get togther and post pictures here at Mj's--just kidding dude:mj07: :mj07: :00hour

 

[kellyindallas]

Sweetcheeks - not everyone plays by the rules, but then don't come back bitching and moaning once it all blows up in your face. That's the advice you need to give him.

 

[The Sponge]

:nono:

You trying to get me in trouble...my wife reads these forums sometimes :scared

Sorry Sec i didn't know you were married. this is no place for a wife to be hanging out.:142smilie
On another note i don't think this bartender is all about tips but i bet you her home life is a bit messed up.

 

[The Sponge]

Sweet cheecks? Darling? Im getting out of this thread before Jack sees it.:scared

 

[3 Seconds]

Sweetcheeks - not everyone plays by the rules, but then don't come back bitching and moaning once it all blows up in your face. That's the advice you need to give him.

Well from what he believes he is done with it since he thinks the she is done with him, so I guess that is good from that perspective.

What I was wondering from a lady's view especially what is the bartender thinking really? I just cant see it being done with...I told him not to go back to the bar for a good while.

 

[The Boys]

I have a big question:

How old are you and your friends???? Seriously, you sound like you a bunch of teenagers???

 

[kellyindallas]

Well, I agree with that. Neither party should put themselves in a bad situation. However, she HAS to go to work, but he doesn't have to go to the bar. Her last text sounds like she is done with him, but they both sound like the type that want that danger...so who knows...My bottom line to him would be that he can do what he wants (morals issue aside) but that don't be suprised when that crap comes back to bite him. Neither one of them sound very stable.

 

[3 Seconds]

I have a big question:

How old are you and your friends???? Seriously, you sound like you a bunch of teenagers???

I like to think of it as young @ heart.

Dude I dont do shit, I go up pound some beers, play some buck hunter & pool. I have no drama. I am just tied into this cause he is a very good friend of mine......

He is a very immature 31 year old. These guys are 28-33 ish....

 

[3 Seconds]

Well, I agree with that. Neither party should put themselves in a bad situation. However, she HAS to go to work, but he doesn't have to go to the bar. Her last text sounds like she is done with him, but they both sound like the type that want that danger...so who knows...My bottom line to him would be that he can do what he wants (morals issue aside) but that don't be suprised when that crap comes back to bite him. Neither one of them sound very stable.

Agreed. & according to him they left it on good terms & he doesnt want to cause any trouble so he wasnt going to go up there, but she was begging him(his words) not to do that last night.


I just think he is in for a world of trouble cause he thinks its over & I just dont think it is for them.....no way has she closed this off, like I said b4 I think she is trying to buy time till her man leaves in a month.....I dont want to see him caught off guard