Need deviant help

[Mickstr68]

I have a small problem at work with a co-worker, actually it's my wifes co-worker but that doesn't really matter. The person that she is having a problem with is an extreme bitch. And I mean bitch. The type of person that will walk by you and not say hello and turn her head away from you at the same time. Talks negatively about you behind your back because she likes to be the drama queen. Borrows everything from everyone without appreciation.

This woman is in her mid twenties, thin and beautiful with light blond hair.

Now- this woman likes to borrow my wifes hairspray all the time and even though this woman is all of this described above my wife still gives her the hairspray in attempts to be friendly to the girl. This is all ending as last week the girl took the hairspray out of my wife's bag without asking used all of it and then put the spray bottle back leaving none for the wife.

The hairspray is the liquid kind that spritzes out, not the aerosole type.

The solution: my wife and I are trying to come up with something that we can put in the hairspray bottle that will so something to the girls hair besides hold it still if you know what I mean. Obviously the wife will have a second bottle that she will hide and use.

We have come up with several things to put in the bottle but can't come up with that perfect thing.

So.... I am asking all of you devious Madjackers to help me with a solution to this problem. What could I put in the hairspray bottle to fu*K with the girl and what will that material do to her hair? Now my wife understands that she may have to come to blows with the girl and is prepared to do that and she doesn't really care if she gets fired. They both work in a nightclub so I honestly doubt she'll get fired but she doesn't really care about that.

Let's hear what we've got!

 

[RexBudler]

URINE

 

[TossingSalads]

Liquified Garlic. Would ruin her social life for the day.


Peroxide. To bleach.. Or just go with diluted bleach.

 

[Mickstr68]

yea we've got Urine on the list,

Didn't think of liquified garlic, good one. Need more- when we finally decide on one of the ideas, I'll post back and let everyone know how it turned out.

 

[TossingSalads]

I can't believe I missed this.

http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/hair/system.html

 

[Mjolnir]

NAIR
whatever that hair removal stuff is.

 

[Hamster]

Chlorine....the kind that is used in swimming pools.....maybe the blond hair will turn greenish....just a thought.


or put some really cheap perfume that would make her smell like a street walker

 

[Nole]

Have to go with urine as my vote. Drink lots of water to clear it up a bit. Sure would like some video when she finds out.

Good luck.

nole

 

[THE KOD]

Mick

Just have to comment on this can't help myself.

It is inexcusable for this woman to have gone in your wifes
purse and taken the spray out without asking. Actually it
is theft and she could certainly be fired for it, if it could be proven.

But come on to retaliate in any way is petty and stooping to
as low a level as the blonde lady.

Find a place to lock your wifes purse and don't provide any
free hairspray for the woman any more. No explaination is
necessary.

Just let it go. Not worth the trouble this could cause for your wife and you.

Worry about the big stuff in life. She will get hers eventually.

good luck

KOD

 

[Mickstr68]

Thanks for the advice KOD- you are right. It is stooping to her level and we should just let it go. But we can't!

We've always been accommodating to people both nice and mean. This girl is such a degree of a bitch, that we want to be petty and we will go through with something. The degree of which just needs to be decided. And because we have the reputation of usually being accommodating to people, she will never see it coming. There are plenty of other things this girl has done to my wife and other friends that we feel justify our actions. All of these other things are petty as well, but too many petty things irritate a person so much that sitting back thinking "one day she will get hers" just doesn't cut it. I want to see her get hers.

Sounds extremely mean as I read this but I guess that will be determined by what we decide to do to her. Hair removal is a great idea but a little too extreme, Urine is possible or other things like it. This is the line of things I am looking for suggestions on.

She will get hers and we will be the ones to do it to her- as mean or petty as that may sound, so be it. We have no big things to worry about right now (thank god) so we might as well do something about the little stuff- LOL!

Now, more suggestions please.

 

[Nole]

Mick

Just have to comment on this can't help myself.

It is inexcusable for this woman to have gone in your wifes
purse and taken the spray out without asking. Actually it
is theft and she could certainly be fired for it, if it could be proven.

But come on to retaliate in any way is petty and stooping to
as low a level as the blonde lady.

Find a place to lock your wifes purse and don't provide any
free hairspray for the woman any more. No explaination is
necessary.

Just let it go. Not worth the trouble this could cause for your wife and you.

Worry about the big stuff in life. She will get hers eventually.

good luck

KOD

BORING!!


C'mon Scott.

nole

 

[THE KOD]

mick

One question.

You really do not know who took it out of your wifes purse and used it. It just may have been someone else, like a close friend of your wifes.

I know you will do as you please as most ppl do. Its just that over the course of years I have found this type of retaliation
can come back and bite you in the ass big time.

Put your energy into making some cash is what I say.

good luck

KOD

 

[MadJack]

motor oil

you can buy a concentrated skunk scent somewhere.....do a google to find it.

paint?

some sort of watery glue?

 

[THE KOD]

BORING!!

C'mon Scott.

nole

................................................................................

OK fawki it.

Draino or boric acid should do the trick.

Either one would eat the bitchs brain along with a good swatch of that blonde hair !

thanks Nole ....... I just needed a little nudge.


mick lets fawk this bitch up !

KOD

 

[TossingSalads]

I love this place!!!

 

[Mickstr68]

Like the skunk scent Madjack

KOD- the reason I know she took the hairspray is that I watched her put it back from across the room (my wife and I work together). So it's not like I'm not 100% positive who it is to blame.

She also likes to borrow pain reliever (like aspirin or motrin) maybe some ideas with that type of thing also.

 

[RexBudler]

................................................................................

OK fawki it.

Draino or boric acid should do the trick.

Either one would eat the bitchs brain along with a good swatch of that blonde hair !

thanks Nole ....... I just needed a little nudge.


mick lets fawk this bitch up !

KOD

:142lmao: :142lmao:

 

[THE KOD]

Well enuff said if you seen her do the theft red handed.

I would have confronted her on the spot if I had seen that.

But oh well.

One of the meanest things that was ever done
to me goes as follows.

I must warn anyone that doesn't enjoy a good shit story should not continue and get out of this thread now while you can.!


When I was about fourteen , I had a best friend his name was Joey Bernard.

If he had gum or candy or whatever I would usually take more than my share and he the same with my stuff. But one time I ate the whole box of his chiclets gum pack and he got pretty upset with me. Like I was a best friend hog or something.

That day we had enjoyed a huge picnic of barbecue ribs
corn chowder, pork sandwhichs, ham hocks, biscuits and maybe a few pig ears. I was stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey.

So Joey (my best friend in the world), plotted out his revenge. He got exlax and put half of them in with the chicklets gum pack. And he left them on his kitchen table where I could spot them.
Yep I downed the pack without thinking much about it.
I think I left the empty box there right on the table for him to pick up and discard.

Now I am at home and its about ten oclock at night and I had left Joeys house with a good night wave and take it easy man.

There is a delayed reaction to exlax and it takes about a hour to really do its magic work of flushing your body to dehydration.
If you take one exlax it will get you going. Two is for the Super Flush. Three are taken only if you are planning colon surgery.
I think I had about seven of the pepperment tablets.


As I layed there chewing the gum I wondered aloud why this gum lost its taste so fast. Threw the gum in the trash and turned the lights out. I was ready to count some sheep, need to rest up had a big day tommorrow.

Then my stomach began to hurt. A subtle hurt not noticable right off so I just ignored it. Then it struck like a lightning bolt. It hit me again and I bolted upright in the bed. Wait a minute. Something is not right here !. My stomach was growling like a dog shiting simmon seeds. I looked in the mirror. I was white as a ghost !

I hurtled chairs getting to the closest toilet.

I don't need to go into great detail about what happened next but suffice it to say there was a explosion with such force that the first gusher of shit slop hit against the side of the toilet and gave me the hardest ass splash better than a Whitewater park ride.

This was the roughest night of my young life.

One side note. If he had filled the whole box with the exlax I think I may have actually died of the shits. My Aunt Martha would have been proud reading that in the local papers.

The next day I go over to his house and he asks me how I slept.

When I relayed what a night I had on the toilet he just had this knowing smirk on his face.

I mean you got to trust your friends right ?

KOD

 

[TossingSalads]

Mick check out the spray on hair removal. I could just see this biotches hair coming off in clumpsas she runs out of the club in tears. Or KOD's idea sounds good.

 

[Nole]

................................................................................

OK fawki it.

Draino or boric acid should do the trick.

Either one would eat the bitchs brain along with a good swatch of that blonde hair !

thanks Nole ....... I just needed a little nudge.


mick lets fawk this bitch up !

KOD

Thata boy!!!

I knew you'd come around.

nole