I couldn't believe those closing ceremonies. It was like they tried to pack a million different things into one crazy light show. I can only imagine the two British dudes in charge of the lineup. Here is my rendition:
Let?s start off with some George Michael, you know a lovely WHAM! tune?
Sorry mate, I think he?s in jail or something.
No, no. They made him leave jail. He was enjoying it too much.
OK, what about a David Bowie tribute. He was British and everyone loved him.
That would be the bullocks, but I don?t think he?s dead yet?
Hmmmm, he will be soon. He was very pale last I saw him.
Very well then. What about that chap, Russell Brand. Is he British? All the youngsters think he?s hip!
Yes, yes. We will have him circle the stadium in a pope mobile of sorts. But I don?t think he?s even a singer.
That could work? He can lip synch his way through. Say, hand me that joint old chap. [takes deep hit]? Well, better than the pope mobile, why not put him on a big psychedelic bus like a Merry Pranksters thing, you know?
Brilliant! He can sing the Willy Wonka and segue into a Beatles number!
Koo koo katchu! I love it! And we?ll have dancing girls. We can dress them like slutty bobbies, with plastic tight skirts and handcuffs and everything.
Oh, I say. This will be so entertaining!
Then, we will have a giant inflatable octopus roll out and there will be a cockpit and we can put the most famous hip hop British DJ of all. And then, the fucking Spice Girls! And we can have a tightrope and a mannequin and the mannequin will burst into flames at the exact moment of the handshake. Then Eric Idle and Pele and maybe the Who?
Oh, I say mate, put down that sweat leaf you are out of control.
