Paul Harvey says..........
- Thread starter THE KOD
- Start date
OK back to the thread subject
If I was 100 years younger I wouldnt mind a roll in the hay with a hippo
that would be a ........ Good Day !
If I was 100 years younger I wouldnt mind a roll in the hay with a hippo
that would be a ........ Good Day !
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its close but you got a point
Although the beholder's eye is quite taken by the aforementioned "hippo", keep in mind where I live, and just how pretty new snow tires can be at certain times of the year. In the summer, as it is now, "hippo" frankly kicks the snow tires arse.
:00x30
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Chad
Keep talking.
If the other Chad falls through, you could be getting a new truck to haul a hippo this coming winter.
PS - its something to do with the way them earrings are tugging at her ear.
And I think them are real rubys !
Keep talking.
If the other Chad falls through, you could be getting a new truck to haul a hippo this coming winter.
PS - its something to do with the way them earrings are tugging at her ear.
And I think them are real rubys !
Nah...quite happily married here with a wife who is better looking than I am, and makes a lot more money than I do. Plus, she's 10 years my junior, so I also got that going for me.
At least a Chad has her eye...that's good enough for me. Cheers, kids!
At least a Chad has her eye...that's good enough for me. Cheers, kids!
- Mar 2, 2006
- 4,794
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- Mar 2, 2006
- 4,794
- 120
- 0
Smurphy, shouldn't you be packing your bags and vacating the dangerous state of California forever? Vegas is really no better. I suggest you pack up immediately and head to Baghdad.
Just trying to look after your safety and well-being.
Just trying to look after your safety and well-being.
:mj07: :mj07: I don't know what to do with DTB at this point. It's difficult arguing with someone who can't grasp basic math concepts.
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I think kosar may be in trouble for skipping out on a meal ticket
OK fellas, I am around to help and I REALLY ENJOY THIS SITE AND MEMBERS OF IT, so LAUGH OR NOT....USE IT OR NOT....IT WORKED FOR ME!!!!! Here we go:
1) I used a sandwhich bag, some people use bottles or other things but reasons for a sandwhich bag DOUBLE BAGGED MAKES SENSE later in the process......get someone whos CLEAN to piss in the bag OF THE SAME SEX!!! Usually the day of or night before the test is BEST!!
2) You got the CLEAN PISS PART DOWN.....now we must worry about TEMPERATURE. What I did was bought a TEMPERATURE GAUGE (NOT GLASS) stainless steel if you can find one!!! I used a thermos that was microwaveable.......filled it up a little more then halfway with water and heated the water up to around 100-110 degrees(if you are close to the site you can do this at home but if you must drive hour or so away we would always take the thermos full of water with us) after the water is properly heated drop the BAG OF PISS in the thermos (and cover if riding with it) measure the water temp and let BAG sit in water around 7-10 mins.....this heats the piss up to NORMAL BODY TEMPERATURE.
3) Once the water is verified to be 100-110 degrees you can take the BAG out after it sits for allotted time, NOW COMES THE TRANSPORTATION PART!!!
4) This is where I found the BAG to be BETTER THEN ANY BOTTLE OR ANYTHING ELSE. This is the funniest part of the whole deal to me, YOU MUST WEAR OLD SCHOOL BRIEFS OR TIGHTY WHITIES as we call them, the old fruit of the looms or any brand that HUGS YOUR BUTT/NUTS with enough width that your sacks arent hanging out . If you are close to the site FROM wherever you are you now must place the HOT BAG OF PISS IN YOUR TIGHTY WHITIES, CAREFULLY...my first attempt at this part I just dropped the SUPER HOT BAG IN MY UNDIES THINKING ITS NOT THAT HOT, and OUCHHHH!!!!! Now if its TOO HOT relax its a good thing dont put it in yet. Frequently checking to place it back in AS SOON AS YOU CAN STAND THE TEMPERATURE(key being to get the HOT BAG NEXT TO YOUR BODY ASAP SO IT MAY COOLDOWN TO BODY TEMP---TRYING TO HEAT UP FROM COLD TO BODY TEMP USUALLY RESULTS IN FAILURE) I would place the BAG on MY BAGS underneath and close and tight, it allows you to walk freely and also SITDOWN WITHOUT BURSTING THE BAG OF PISS(remembering NOT sit sitdown fully but a bit more towards the edge of the chair reduces chances of embarrassment!!!!)
5) You are loaded up and ready to make the deposit......I used a bobby pin on my belt or at the top of my sockline to puncture a hole in the BAGS once inside the testing room bathroom, squeezing the piss in the cup to create a little foam......once you've done that YOU MUST TAKE ALL BAGS AND ITEMS BACK WITH YOU, STUFFING THE SOMETIMES WET BAG IN YOUR SOCK OR UNDIES IS A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE especially knowing it wasnt your piss!!! But as soon as you return to the car or another bathroom you can fix that, by changing socks , undies or having a rag to scrub off(never said it was fun I said it WORKED!!!)
The pretty lady takes the temp, asks you to sign and your're free to go.... smiling KNOWING you've just passed a test you had NO BUSINESS DOING SO!!!!
FOOTNOTE----the only difference is long travels you may load the undies in the parking lot, versus at the house, key is to give enough time for the BAG to be BODY TEMP, NOT TOO HOT...if its the middle of the day....go to WAWA or any convience store with a microwave and they have no problem letting you heat up plain water even if its a $0.50 charge and resume the process!!!! I always had my thermos and temp taker in the car with me going to work, IF you dont KNOW when the test is---taking a bag of piss to work everyday seems quite odd but hey its what I USED TO DO TO SECURE MY JOB, ONLY MYSELF AND MY BUDDY KNEW...NO NEED TO GO BRAGGING SO WHO GONNA REALLY KNOW?
If it seems I left any parts out or if something seems not complete JUST MENTION IT I WILL FILL IN THE BLANK, I am REMEMBERING THIS OFF THE HEAD AND POSSIBLY I LEFT SOMETHING OUT......ANY QUESTIONS I WILL BE HAPPY TO ADDRESS AND BEST OF LUCK...
TO ALL THE ONES THAT SCARF OR LAUGH AT THIS, DOESNT MATTER TO ME..I SMOKED HEAVILY AND ENJOYED DOING SO...without the WORRY OF LOSING MY JOB!!!!!!
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"Beau"
by Jimmy Stewart
He never came to me when I would call
Unless I had a tennis ball,
Or he felt like it,
But mostly he didn't come at all.
When he was young
He never learned to heel
Or sit or stay,
He did things his way.
Discipline was not his bag
But when you were with him things sure didn't drag.
He'd dig up a rosebush just to spite me,
And when I'd grab him, he'd turn and bite me.
He bit lots of folks from day to day,
The delivery boy was his favorite prey.
The gas man wouldn't read our meter,
He said we owned a real man-eater.
He set the house on fire
But the story's long to tell.
Suffice it to say that he survived
And the house survived as well.
On the evening walks, and Gloria took him,
He was always first out the door.
The Old One and I brought up the rear
Because our bones were sore.
He would charge up the street with Mom hanging on,
What a beautiful pair they were!
And if it was still light and the tourists were out,
They created a bit of a stir.
But every once in a while, he would stop in his tracks
And with a frown on his face look around.
It was just to make sure that the Old One was there
And would follow him where he was bound.
We are early-to-bedders at our house--
I guess I'm the first to retire.
And as I'd leave the room he'd look at me
And get up from his place by the fire.
He knew where the tennis balls were upstairs,
And I'd give him one for a while.
He would push it under the bed with his nose
And I'd fish it out with a smile.
And before very long
He'd tire of the ball
And be asleep in his corner
In no time at all.
And there were nights when I'd feel him
Climb upon our bed
And lie between us,
And I'd pat his head.
And there were nights when I'd feel this stare
And I'd wake up and he'd be sitting there
And I reach out my hand and stroke his hair.
And sometimes I'd feel him sigh
and I think I know the reason why.
He would wake up at night
And he would have this fear
Of the dark, of life, of lots of things,
And he'd be glad to have me near.
And now he's dead.
And there are nights when I think I feel him
Climb upon our bed and lie between us,
And I pat his head.
And there are nights when I think
I feel that stare
And I reach out my hand to stroke his hair,
But he's not there.
Oh, how I wish that wasn't so,
I'll always love a dog named Beau.
by Jimmy Stewart
He never came to me when I would call
Unless I had a tennis ball,
Or he felt like it,
But mostly he didn't come at all.
When he was young
He never learned to heel
Or sit or stay,
He did things his way.
Discipline was not his bag
But when you were with him things sure didn't drag.
He'd dig up a rosebush just to spite me,
And when I'd grab him, he'd turn and bite me.
He bit lots of folks from day to day,
The delivery boy was his favorite prey.
The gas man wouldn't read our meter,
He said we owned a real man-eater.
He set the house on fire
But the story's long to tell.
Suffice it to say that he survived
And the house survived as well.
On the evening walks, and Gloria took him,
He was always first out the door.
The Old One and I brought up the rear
Because our bones were sore.
He would charge up the street with Mom hanging on,
What a beautiful pair they were!
And if it was still light and the tourists were out,
They created a bit of a stir.
But every once in a while, he would stop in his tracks
And with a frown on his face look around.
It was just to make sure that the Old One was there
And would follow him where he was bound.
We are early-to-bedders at our house--
I guess I'm the first to retire.
And as I'd leave the room he'd look at me
And get up from his place by the fire.
He knew where the tennis balls were upstairs,
And I'd give him one for a while.
He would push it under the bed with his nose
And I'd fish it out with a smile.
And before very long
He'd tire of the ball
And be asleep in his corner
In no time at all.
And there were nights when I'd feel him
Climb upon our bed
And lie between us,
And I'd pat his head.
And there were nights when I'd feel this stare
And I'd wake up and he'd be sitting there
And I reach out my hand and stroke his hair.
And sometimes I'd feel him sigh
and I think I know the reason why.
He would wake up at night
And he would have this fear
Of the dark, of life, of lots of things,
And he'd be glad to have me near.
And now he's dead.
And there are nights when I think I feel him
Climb upon our bed and lie between us,
And I pat his head.
And there are nights when I think
I feel that stare
And I reach out my hand to stroke his hair,
But he's not there.
Oh, how I wish that wasn't so,
I'll always love a dog named Beau.
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August 28, 2007
Report details Craig's disorderly conduct
CNN has obtained Craig's arrest report.
WASHINGTON (CNN) ? CNN has obtained the June 11, 2007 police report detailing Idaho Sen. Larry Craig's disorderly conduct arrest in an airport bathroom.
In the report, the arresting officer alleges that Craig lingered outside a restroom stall where the officer was sitting, then entered the stall next door and blocked the stall door with his luggage. (Read the report [PDF])
According to the report, Craig tapped his right foot, which the officer said he recognized "as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct."
"Craig tapped his toes several times and moved his foot closer to my foot," the report states. "I moved my foot up and down slowly. While this was occurring, the male in the stall to my right was still present. I could hear several unknown persons in the restroom that appeared to use the restroom for its intended use. The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area."
At that point, the officer said he put his police identification down by the floor so Craig could see it, and informed the senator that he was under arrest, before any sexual contact took place.
Craig, who agreed to plead guilty to disorderly conduct, denied to the officer he was engaging in any inappropriate activity.
According to the report, Craig told the police that "he has a wide stance when going to the bathroom and that his foot may have touched mine [the officer's].":142smilie :mj07: :142smilie
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thats about the funniest excuse for a criminal act in a restroom I have ever read.
So you spread your legs wide enough to go under the other stall. Yeh I need alot of room.
Another Senator - immoral turpitude.
Geez Louise - where does this all end
Report details Craig's disorderly conduct
CNN has obtained Craig's arrest report.
WASHINGTON (CNN) ? CNN has obtained the June 11, 2007 police report detailing Idaho Sen. Larry Craig's disorderly conduct arrest in an airport bathroom.
In the report, the arresting officer alleges that Craig lingered outside a restroom stall where the officer was sitting, then entered the stall next door and blocked the stall door with his luggage. (Read the report [PDF])
According to the report, Craig tapped his right foot, which the officer said he recognized "as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct."
"Craig tapped his toes several times and moved his foot closer to my foot," the report states. "I moved my foot up and down slowly. While this was occurring, the male in the stall to my right was still present. I could hear several unknown persons in the restroom that appeared to use the restroom for its intended use. The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area."
At that point, the officer said he put his police identification down by the floor so Craig could see it, and informed the senator that he was under arrest, before any sexual contact took place.
Craig, who agreed to plead guilty to disorderly conduct, denied to the officer he was engaging in any inappropriate activity.
According to the report, Craig told the police that "he has a wide stance when going to the bathroom and that his foot may have touched mine [the officer's].":142smilie :mj07: :142smilie
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thats about the funniest excuse for a criminal act in a restroom I have ever read.
So you spread your legs wide enough to go under the other stall. Yeh I need alot of room.
Another Senator - immoral turpitude.
Geez Louise - where does this all end
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