Paying the Man

IE

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live and w/ tribualtions(sp) from Chris
a fellow capper

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Paying the Man
Try throwing some NCAA action into this rancid stew.
By Chris, the Impaler



TUESDAYS ARE THE worst. I'm in the Rotten Apple to pay the man, again. It is a quick ride down Park Ave to 47th St. Then a short walk against crosstown traffic to the big building on the left. I buy a hotdog from the greasy vendor sporting an NYFD lid.



After slathering the dog with mustard and relish, I sit on the cement wall and munch on the nitrate bomb watching major East Side ass sashaying by me in the warm November sun. Lovin' the Indian summer but also hating the fact that I am waiting to settle and not collect.



I field a cell call from my proxy in Vegas. More badness is coming through the wire from the Hilton Sportsbook and Casino. "I'm trying not to hear that, you know," I tell him. Fact is, he says, he is damn tired of running himself all over Clark County putting in my losing picks each week.



"Where's the percentage?" he asks. When I think about it, he's right. I'm not even close to the top 100 'cappers on the list, why should he bother, I'm not even in the top 500. Splitting nothing of nothing is still nothing and that's all he's getting at this point. "Gas is expensive man!"



He hangs up on me. Which is good since the man is now standing in front of me. Waiting. He's not what you'd expect either. Not some bent nose. My man is well-dressed, suit and tie, he is just on the short side with fine white Irish locks and warm blue eyes that seem to actually give a crap about what you think, even though you know they don't. His narrow features resemble a hawk diving for a chipmunk. Just the sight of him scares the crap out of me?especially when I am winning.



He nods and smiles a terrible smile. I hand him the NY Sports Express (5.5 units under the fold) and tell him he should read my column. He laughs. "You know I don't wager." He remonstrates.



"Yeah. Well, you should read the column anyway. Just for kicks you know."



"I would kid, but I ain't got the time, gas is expensive you know." A large American black SUV, all chrome and tint, pulls to the curb and waits. "See you next Tuesday." He turns and gets into the vehicle and leaves.







PITTSBURGH 19 - Virginia Tech (-5) 20?After a decisive conference road win at Alumni Stadium at the Heights at Chestnut Hill, the Panthers of Pittsburgh will face another tough conference (not for long) foe at home. Last week, Virginia Tech beat Miami at home in a game that did not feature much offense until the younger Vick's fireworks in the second half.



As the BCS shows us that we need to look to the pros to find a team that will beat Oklahoma in the National Championship Title Game, today we also know that the Big East leader is the Panthers. Can you believe it? Just ask the Hurricanes how they feel about it. One bit of advice would be not to look past Virginia Tech. Yes, Pittsburgh is undefeated in conference play this year and Virginia Tech will benefit from following Miami's advice.



This should prove to be another tough conference match-up for both of these teams. Initially, this game looks like it should tip toward a Virginia Tech "D" that held a "paper" Hurricane "O" to only seven points. But scores are deceiving. The Hokies will meet a stingy Panther defense that has allowed only two touchdowns in their last two games. The Panthers are also eight of nine as home dawgs.



Watching another Vick come up through the ranks is exciting, but not good enough reason to lay on the road. I am inclined to go with the experience and poise of Panther senior quarterback Rutherford who has shown the maturity to read defenses and gun the ball downfield. This game is also what is termed as a classic "letdown" game for Virginia Tech.



We are going to grab the five points at home for $440.







ST. LOUIS (-7) 34 - Baltimore 17?The "We want Warner" chant has not quite begun under the silver arch, however, fanatics in East St. Louis were left wondering if that wasn't Mr. Farnsworth QB'ing the LA Rams (obscure Heaven Can Wait reference) they watched get abused by a motivated Rattay and the Gold Prospectors. What happened to the speed-extinct Rams last week? I think it was a lethal combination of over confidence, a young quarterback with too many interceptions, an egotistical coach, and a dome team getting caught with their pants around their ankles. That and the fact they only had NINE yards rushing! Sure a few sacks took away from the rushing total, but come on. Everyone knows that rushing opens up the passing game!



This week at Georgia Frontierre Dome, I look for a motivated Rams team to come out firing with the Marshall plan. Faulk is expected to return to the line-up this week and is listed as probable against a Baltimore Raven team that is experiencing their own problems on D. Rookie Boller is still learning Billick's amazingly annoying and complicated offensive schemes. Being a smart Golden Bear cub it should only take him three years sleeping with the damn laptop to learn! But laptops and Andro are not the only weapons that the Ravens will need to cover the Rams' storied receiving corps. Holt is a four-letter word to secondaries around the league.


I'm laying the points on the home team for $440.







Monday Night Football



GREEN BAY (-5.5) 27 - Philadelphia 17?Just when you thought he'd evaded the Chunky Soup commercial curse, McNabb travels to freeze-your-ass-off-on-metal-seats-in-the-middle-of-November-Stadium. Going to a Vick-less Atlanta in October is one thing, but wrap that sore thumb cause it is cold where you are going. Not that it doesn't get cold in Philly, it is a different kind of cold. That cold Wisconsin dirt will make McNabb wish he had his Ma's favorite soup since he has already been sacked 28 times.



In their lone appearance on Monday Night Football the Packers?a four point favorite?beat rival Chicago 38-23 with the total soaring over 41.5 points. Surprisingly, the Eagles are 5-3 and vying with the Cowboys for first place in the division. While this divisional race does little to get my cock hard, I find it interesting that these two teams have similar problems. Neither have corners to prevent decent receivers from burning them. Looking at the talented Driver at WR and solid running by Green and Davenport, not to mention that Favre guy, I look at the Packers to build on last weekend's Sunday Night momentum. It'll be a solid win against a better-than-Cincinnati type of team.



Lay the five and a half points for $440.







Week Nine Wrap



Last week saw us sitting on the fence for most of the weekend. While this space jumped on the Jets grabbing two-and-a-half at home from the Giants, by game time most books had the Jets listed as three point 'dogs. Thanks to some shoddy OT kicks for both teams, as time wound down, I'm sure I wasn't the only gambler out there chanting for a tie. The final drive by the Giants was executed well. Props, of course, must be tossed to the Jets who rallied from two touchdowns behind late in the fourth quarter, but their effort was not enough and we squandered another chunk to the man bleeding the bankroll for another five-point-five units. After nine weeks we are exactly two dimes in the red.



"Oh, the horror" a great man once said.
 

IE

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unreal line movement today(sat) to follow at bestbettor......

greek on page 1
cris on page 2
bestline on page 1

have a look on
sunday for

NFL

up to game time.....
 

noodle

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great read, IE2002... you were right with Pitt, great call. hope you collect this week... best of luck on Sunday and Monday..:rolleyes:
 

boilermaker

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IE, great story about paying the man. Settlement day tuesday, I know that feeling. Oh too well. My only difference is I have played golf and drank with my 2 locals. When I loose I just go to their pub and pay up. Usually get a couple free beers out of them.:D
 

IE

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another week, sigh...another tail/tale from Chris....

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Rubbernecking
Bacon, egg and commute in NFL week 11.
By Chris, the Impaler



I DON'T NEED THE local rag to tell me that the New Jersey barriers are 42 inches high. For the past ten minutes I've been wedged between the same damned woman in her saggy-ass aged white late-90s Taurus and the concrete border that protects me from the ten guys on the road crew. They're starting on their routine of drinking coffee and watching each other get nothing done. Well, nothing except rubbernecking poor bastards like me on our forced march to exchange the hell that is home for the hell that is work.



If I had a ruler I'd go out and measure the bastard barriers myself just to make sure they were regulation 42 inches. I got the time, you know. Not like I am going anywhere for the next half-hour or so. I mean, I love breathing in the morning's diet of noxious diesel exhaust as much as the next commuter, but I have a boss who lives three minutes away from the office because he would "never commute." One fact remains certain two miles from the split, like my career: I am going nowhere fast, at least not for the moment.



I look at the passenger seat. There it is, wrapped in a white wax bag protecting my order-by-numbers breakfast purchased before I hit the Cross Bronx Expressway. Do I eat it now or do I wait another mile? Another mile could take an hour. I rip open the bag and gobble up the bacon, egg and cheese on a toasted bagel in about two seconds. Immediately I want another one, but what commuter needs the extra carbs and nitrates? I don't.



I light a cigarette and have a sip of coffee. Across the Jersey barrier, the union is in full effect. Eight guys in stretched safety orange sweatshirts and janitor blue pants tucked into beige work boots watch one young guy, probably the rookie, work a pile of dirt into a front-end loader.



I turn my attention from the white Taurus planted in pavement on my right and watch the union guy work the dirt. His shovel hits something, and as he forces the handle?it snaps. The worker (I use the term loosely) falls on his hands and knees to the screaming delight of the other eight guys. Everyone is pointing and laughing and the dude gets up all cool, like he meant to do it.



Now they're all standing around looking at the ground. Even the guy running the front-end loader is out of his cab and is pointing at the broken shovel. This is all going on when I see two officious looking guys pull up in their spank-me blue Ford F-350. I figure they must be the shift supervisors come to sort out the problem.



It looks like everyone is telling the screws their version of the broken shovel saga. They hand around more coffee and a few of them are smoking cigarettes. I glance at the LCD on the stereo and it reads 7:50. In ten minutes I'll be late for work, again, and these guys are relaxing in the crisp November morning sun smoking White Tips and kissing ass.



The white Taurus has suddenly cut in front me and stopped for no apparent reason?other than the person in front of them stopped for no apparent reason. And so on, and so on and so on.



"Bitch!" I scream at my windshield, give her the finger while riding her ass for a few agonizing tenths of a mile. I work the lane and then give her the old "brights" treatment before I settle back down to three miles per hour, sip from my styrofoam coffee container and light my third cigarette more than one hour into 17.2 mile commute.



The picks this week are dedicated to Al Goldstein, keep up the good fight brother, screw 'em.



Now that we are in the cold in the northern states, gamblers should keep in mind that Vegas took a beating the first half of the season on road favorites, but I expect this trend to change in the second half of the season. Plain and simple, bet the home dogs. What happened to suckers everywhere last weekend? San Diego, Carolina and Jacksonville all home dogs and all three, to the chagrin of Jonahs everywhere, won outright.



Kansas City (-7.5) 24 - CINCINNATI 20



So let's test out our theory with a lone home dog this week. We have an impressive 9-0 Kansas City (8-1 ATS) team coming into Bengals stadium. Coach V's defense will have to face Marvin Lewis' Johnson-squared attack, featuring the team's new single game rushing attempt record holder, Rudi Johnson (183 yards on 43 carries and two TDs last week against Houston) as well as deep threat Chad Johnson. However, this is not the Cris Collinsworth Bengals. Lewis has these tigers believing in themselves and each other.



One sore spot was that Cincinnati's D allowed 27 points to the Texans. If the Texans can score 27 points against Cincinnati, how many points will a really good offense like KC score? Priest Holmes should run roughshod over the Bengals, right? Let's not forget about Dante Hall and KC special teams that are, well, special. Much like St. Louis a few years ago, can any team stop the juggernaut known as Speed Inc.? Doubtful. But I am not looking for someone to stop them, just to slow them down a bit. A few weeks back, KC went into Green Bay a lock to win and found themselves down 31-14 in the fourth quarter. RB Green fumbles (when have we seen that recently?) and KC wins in OT.



If you are wagering on this game wait until the number hits 8-9 points and then jump on the points, you can bet the stupid money is going to be all over KC on this cold game. Do what you want, but I am laying $660 and have the home team grabbing the points.







Week 10 Revisited



Last week we went 2-1 as Pittsburgh won outright against VA Tech and St. Louis covered in an ugly ten-point margin of victory. Green Bay deflated just in time for us to lose on Monday Night, bringing our weekend total to four units in the black. Which is fine if you don't look at the fact we are into the man for 16 units.
 
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