Prayers for jr11...................

jr11

08-18-05
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Jul 19, 2002
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It is not any easier today as it was yesterday. I was able to get through the night, wake up and have to read the paper with my wife in it. Truly a sickening feeling.

I was ok for the most part about through the day, but starting to get emotional knowing the viewings starts tomorrow and I get to see her again. I am actually scared. We all feel pain or have suffered loss, but damn this hurts.

All my life, especially through my basketball playing days I knew how to overcome defeat. I would run more, jump rope longer, lift more, study more, shoot more, practice more, but how do handle this?

I watched her last breath, and that is beyond the worst thing to ever see from your significant other. I don't know how I am going let go. My beautiful wife is gone and I couldn't save her even though I tried my hardest and pulled even resource I could from having a career in the medical field.

I appreciate everyone's thoughts, and it means a lot coming from people I don't know or perhaps will ever see. You all are great.

Thanks.

B
 

Hooks

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Aug 14, 2000
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I'm sorry brother, my father died in my arms not to long ago. I look at it as I was representing being there with him for my siblings that couldn't. It was an honor for me. Talk to you in a bit my friend, Dave
 

jr11

08-18-05
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Jul 19, 2002
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Well, the first viewing day is over. Extremely emotional at the start, and wall to wall in the evening. The outpour from everyone has been overwhelming. It took people over 1 hour just to get in the funeral home, and will be worse tomorrow.

2 things I found to be really odd today.

(1), while all of the hospital days were going on I took Jamie's car up to get inspected and did not pick it up for days. Today, I pay for the inspection, grab the keys and go out to the car and the battery was dead.

(2) I have many watches, Movado's and the like. Well, I only really wear the one my wife bought me and it was a wedding gift. Today, I am getting ready and put it on, guess what, the battery was dead, and on the day she passed, 19.

I know there will be many things that will make me say wow, or remind, but this was beyond weird to me.

Thanks again to all. This helps me to allow you all in on my grave situation.

B
 

Nole

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Jan 7, 2002
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I know it was a tough day today B. We're thinking of you here. Another tough day tomorrow. Hang tough, you're doing better than most would in this situation.

Take care.


nole
 

ppabart

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Dec 13, 2000
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Brian.....

Reading your posts really stirs up my emotions. I can't imagine what you are feeling right now. I lost my Dad to cancer almost 2 years ago. However, I know that even pales in comparison to losing your significant other. I'm 31, and I know that you loved your wife as much as any man could have. And I don't know that because I know you personally, but because of how you write about her on here. She was a very lucky woman to have someone like you to be there for her. I wish you all the best, Brian.

Bart
 

Dr Feelgood

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Feb 3, 2001
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Brian,

I held my son as he took his last breath and my Mother was taken by the damn cancer a while ago minutes after mumbling under sedation she loved me. Those things stay with you forever.

You mentioned the batteries....when my Mother died on the same day as my son was born 3 years later (not to mention it was tax day April 15th---and I married and Accountant) I thought the same things you are thinking. They may be a sign...who knows, but just try to know that she is definately looking down on you and those may be her ways of telling you she is there...

my prayers go out to you and your family...
 

3 Seconds

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Jan 14, 2004
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Hang in there man & I know thats silly to say, but you just have to try & take one day at a time.

Again I am truly sorry for your loss.
 

zig

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You have my sympothies. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
 

jr11

08-18-05
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Jul 19, 2002
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I am off to bury my wife. Puked throughout the night and have been sick all morning after getting up at 6. I am so scared right now. Wow. This just isn't right.
 
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