RAYMOND'S STUFF
- Thread starter RAYMOND
- Start date
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RAYMOND - I think your on to something :0corn
And to think this all started with a joke
I think when he said " the smartest thing to do is pull it "
I would take that to mean get out. pull back , get away .
but thats just me
I hope we are not going down this road again.
I would take that to mean get out. pull back , get away .
but thats just me
I hope we are not going down this road again.
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RAYMOND
so does this mean you will acknowledge that the last 8 years of Bush and Cheney were the most evil period for the American people in our history ?>
we may be finally getting somewhere :0corn
Really, thats all you have?
Why not just stick to spamming the other forums with losing picks?
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hey shawn
you are beginning to get on my last nerve
I suggest now that you just shut the fuck up
OUTSIDE NOW !
RAYMOND'S STUFF
Muslim Belief
This is a true story and the author, Rick Mathes, is a well-known leader
in prison ministry. The man who walks with God always gets to his
destination. If you have a pulse you have a purpose.
The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion per capita in the
United States , especially in the minority races!!!
Last month I attended my annual training session that's required
for maintaining my state prison security clearance. During the training
session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman
Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who explained each of their
beliefs.
I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say. The
Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a
video.
After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers.
When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked:
'Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that most Imams and
clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of the
world and, that by killing an infidel, (which is a command to all Muslims)
they are assured of a place in heaven.. If that's the case, can you give
me the definition of an infidel?'
There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation, he
replied, 'Non-believers!'
I responded, 'So, let me make sure I have this straight. All followers
of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so
they can have a place in heaven. Is that correct?'
The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to
that of a little boy who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie
jar.'
He sheepishly replied, 'Yes.'
I then stated, 'Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope
John Paul commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr.
Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee them a
place in heaven!'
The Imam was speechless!
I continued, 'I also have a problem with being your friend when you and
your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me!
Let me ask you a question: Would you rather have your Allah, who tells
you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven, or my Jesus who tells me
to love you because I am going to heaven and He wants you to be there with
me?'
You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame.
Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the Diversification
training seminar were not happy with my way of dealing with the Islamic
Imam, and exposing the truth about the Muslims' beliefs.
In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in the U.S. to elect
the President!
I think everyone in the U.S. should be required to read this, but with
ACLU, there is no way this will be widely publicized, unless each of us
send it on! This is your chance to make a difference...
FOR GODS' SAKE! SEND THIS ON!
http://www.shopgbg.com/311246
<: (((( ><
Muslim Belief
This is a true story and the author, Rick Mathes, is a well-known leader
in prison ministry. The man who walks with God always gets to his
destination. If you have a pulse you have a purpose.
The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion per capita in the
United States , especially in the minority races!!!
Last month I attended my annual training session that's required
for maintaining my state prison security clearance. During the training
session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman
Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who explained each of their
beliefs.
I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say. The
Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a
video.
After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers.
When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked:
'Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that most Imams and
clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of the
world and, that by killing an infidel, (which is a command to all Muslims)
they are assured of a place in heaven.. If that's the case, can you give
me the definition of an infidel?'
There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation, he
replied, 'Non-believers!'
I responded, 'So, let me make sure I have this straight. All followers
of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so
they can have a place in heaven. Is that correct?'
The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to
that of a little boy who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie
jar.'
He sheepishly replied, 'Yes.'
I then stated, 'Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope
John Paul commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr.
Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee them a
place in heaven!'
The Imam was speechless!
I continued, 'I also have a problem with being your friend when you and
your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me!
Let me ask you a question: Would you rather have your Allah, who tells
you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven, or my Jesus who tells me
to love you because I am going to heaven and He wants you to be there with
me?'
You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame.
Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the Diversification
training seminar were not happy with my way of dealing with the Islamic
Imam, and exposing the truth about the Muslims' beliefs.
In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in the U.S. to elect
the President!
I think everyone in the U.S. should be required to read this, but with
ACLU, there is no way this will be widely publicized, unless each of us
send it on! This is your chance to make a difference...
FOR GODS' SAKE! SEND THIS ON!
http://www.shopgbg.com/311246
<: (((( ><
RAYMOND'S STUFF
Britain is Repossessing the U.S.A.
A Message from John Cleese
To: The citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas
which she does not fancy).
Our new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (Look up 'vocabulary').
3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save the Queen.
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.
Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. Holden Monaros are also approved.
8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.
14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.
God Save the Queen.
Only He can.
John Cleese
Britain is Repossessing the U.S.A.
A Message from John Cleese
To: The citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas
which she does not fancy).
Our new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (Look up 'vocabulary').
3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save the Queen.
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.
Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. Holden Monaros are also approved.
8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.
14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.
God Save the Queen.
Only He can.
John Cleese
