Religion

[IntenseOperator]

Boudreaux, a Cajun highlander from Rapides Parish in central Louisiana, was an older, single gentleman, who was born and raised a Baptist, living in South Louisiana. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak.

Now, all of Boudreaux's neighbors were Catholic... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Fridays. The delicious aroma from the
grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. The priest came to visit Boudreaux, and suggested that Boudreaux convert to Catholicism.

After several classes and much study, Boudreaux attended Mass... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist, but now you are Catholic."


Boudreaux's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.

The priest was called immediately by the neighbors and as he rushed into Boudreaux's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped in amazement and watched.

There stood Boudreaux, clutching a small bottle of water which he carefully
sprinkled over the grilling meat, and chanted: "You wuz born a deer and you wuz raised a deer, but now you a catfish."

 

[IntenseOperator]

A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.
After a while, the Priest turned to the Rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The Rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."The Priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the Rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."
The Priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the Rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?

"The Priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith." The
Rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh? The Priest replied, "Yes, Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."
The Rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes.
Finally, the Rabbi says, "Beats the shit out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"

 

[IntenseOperator]

HOLY GOLF TOURNAMENT
>>>
>>> Shortly after the Pope had apologized to the Jewish
>>> People for the treatment of Jews by the Catholic
>> Church over the years Ariel Sharon, the Prime
>>> Minister of Israel, sent a proposal to the
>>> College of Cardinals for a friendly game of golf to
>> be played between the two leaders or their
>> representatives to demonstrate the friendship and
>>> ecumenical spirit shared by the Catholics and the
>>> Jews. The Pope then met with his College of
>> Cardinals to discuss the proposal .
>>>
>>> "Your Holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr.
>>> Sharon wants to challenge you to a game of golf to
>> show that you are old and unable to compete. I am
>> afraid that this would tarnish our image in the
>> world."
>>>
>>> The Pope thought about this and since he had never
>>> held a golf club in his life asked "Don't we have a
>> Cardinal to represent me?"
>>>
>>> "None who plays golf very well," a Cardinal replied.
>>> "But," he added, "There is a man named Jack
>> Nicklaus, an American golfer, who is a devout
>>> Catholic.
>>>
>>> We can offer to make him a Cardinal, and then ask
>>> him to play Mr. Sharon
>>> as your personal representative. In addition to
>>> showing our spirit of
>>> cooperation, we will also win the match."
>>>
>>> Everyone agreed that this was a great idea. The
>>> call was made.
>>> Of course, Nicklaus was honored and he agreed to
>>> play as a representative of the Pope.
>>>
>>> The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the
>>> Vatican to inform the
>>> Pope of the result. "This is Cardinal Nicklaus. I
>>> have some good news and
>>> some bad news, Holiness," said the golfer.
>>>
>>> Tell me the good news, Cardinal Nicklaus," said the
>>> Pope.
>>>
>>> "Well, Your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but
>>> even though I have played
>>> some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life,
>>> this was the best I have
>>> ever played, by far. I must have been inspired
>>> from above.
>>> My drives were long and true, my irons were
>>> accurate and purposeful, and my
>>> putting was perfect. With all due respect, my
>>> play was truly miraculous."
>>>
>>> "How can there be bad news?" the Pope asked.
>>>
>>> Nicklaus sighed "I lost by three strokes to Rabbi
>>> Tiger Woods"!