TV just read this today, I know what your going through since i have had a parent who had cancer and also had a parent away. My preyers are with you and your family. I don't like to talk much about my personal neliefes on here but you can find comfort IMO knowing that your mom is in a better place and will aways be there watching over you, you can always speak to her and you will hear her voice speak back . The hurt and pain will pass it takes time , you have stages of healing to go through and don't let anyone say hey get over it if it takes you longer then they think. They do not know only you. We grieve and hurt more for us inside missing our loved one but they will always be there and they are with out hurt and pain.
Hang in there my friends once again my prayers and thoughts go out to you and your family.
respectfully
Eric