Shipwreck joke....Hillary Clinton

Dead Money

Registered User
Forum Member
Sep 15, 2005
4,350
64
0
Upstairs watching sports on the big TV.
A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together,but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.

The only survivor was Hillary Clinton.
That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening, red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze, a perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the man started to get "those feelings" again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he hadn't had sex for months.
Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.


He said, "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
 

Dead Money

Registered User
Forum Member
Sep 15, 2005
4,350
64
0
Upstairs watching sports on the big TV.
Very Old Golf Joke

Very Old Golf Joke

I remember hearing this one when Nixon was in office....




Catholic or not you have to laugh at this one...



A Catholic priest and a nun were taking a rare afternoon off
And enjoying a round of golf.

The priest stepped up to the first tee and took a mighty swing.
He missed the ball entirely and said "****, I missed."

The good Sister told him to watch his language.

On his next swing, he missed again.****, I missed."

"Father, I'm not going to play with you if you keep swearing,"
The nun said tartly.

The priest promised to do better and the round continued.

On the 4th tee, he misses again. The usual comment followed.

Sister is really mad now and says, "Father Theo, God is going
To strike you dead if you keep swearing like that."

On the next tee, Father Theo swings and misses again.
" ****, I missed.."

A terrible rumble is heard and a gigantic bolt of lightning comes
Out of the sky strikes and incinerates Sister Antoinette dead in her tracks.






And from the sky comes a booming voice...

"****, I missed."
 
Bet on MyBookie
Top